Portals And Pizzazz
by flameclawsxx
Summary: You know the drill, so and so dies, meets a god, then gets reincarnated into an anime with a special power, nothing new nothing original... I wonder if i can blow up the planet if i open a big enough portal to the center of the sun... (Si/Oc) (Semi Self Insert) (Crackfic)
1. Chapter 1

**Don't Own Rwby, Only The Oc**

'thought'

"Speech"

**"Tvs, Radios, and Text via book or newspaper... when those are around..."**

_(Mid Chapter Authors Notes)_

* * *

I stare blankly into the darkness.

"…"

"Lemme guess, Reincarnation?" I ask.

**"You got it buddy!" **A small white haired lolita wearing a white dress exclaims in a two-toned voice as she suddenly pops into existance.

"And are you god?" I ask. "Here to give me some sort of bullshit power to assist me in whatever world I am going into next?"

**"Huh... right on the nose..."** She hums as she tilts her head. **"How'd you guess."**

"I have read countless stories that do this exact thing... frankly this is the best thing that could have happened to me." I deadpan. "Do you have like a list of powers? Or one picked out already?"

**"I was just going to let you have whatever you could think up."** She shrugs. **"As long as it's not too powerful." **

"Portals." I state nearly instantaneously.

**"That's... it?" **The small god asks with a head tilt.

I nod once.

**"Eh... I'll give you a deluxe package to make it more interesting for me~ just being able to teleport yourself and other people might get you killed"** she hums **"Illalsobegivingyouanewde-agedbody."**

"What do you mean by tha-"

**"Buh bye!" **

* * *

I shield my eyes from the bright new colors and light, muttering under my breath as I do.

"w-Where am I?" A slightly squeaky voice asks.

"…"

I quickly tap around my clothes, finding a folded piece of paper in the pocket of my pants.

**Hiya! It's me, god! I just thought I should leave this note with you explaining a bit about your new body.**  
**Your new name is Teal Indie, you are currently 11 years of age and your birthday is on March 21****st****. **

**Your current powers (That I am allowing you to know of) include: **  
**1: The ability to create portals between 2 places, the size and distance of said portals depending on your own strength.**

…

**And that's it... not very powerful combat-wise, but it should keep you alive for a while!**

**Now, here is an image of yourself!**

***Picture of a child with deep blue hair, so deep that it could easily pass off for black except near the ends, he has regular blue eyes and pale skin that really compliments his look of TOTAL CONFUSION***

**Now, go out into the world and be interesting!**

'portals aren't powerful?' I frown.

I hold my hand out, palm facing the sky, a small grapefruit-sized disk appearing in the crisp morning air right above.

It is currently a sort of misty black circle that spins slightly because I have it connected to no other point.

I summon a second about a foot below it, before picking up a rock from the ground and placing it in between the two portals.

***Fwub Fwub Fwub Fwub* **

I watch as the rock quickly falls in between the two portals.

'this should be fast enough...'

I remove the top portal and create another one pointed out into the forest.

I watch as it flies off into the distance, smiling slightly as I hear a couple branches crack as it arcs through the treetops.

I pull a combat knife from a sheath attached to my waist.

"At least she had the foresight of giving me a weapon in this random forest..." I sigh. 'I don't even know where I am!'

I look down.

'thankfully I am on a path... I guess I'll just follow this.'

* * *

I pause my walk as I come across something... strange...

It's a large wolf like creature that seems to shift between walking on its hind legs and all four, it has a mask of bone and several bone spikes poking from its body.

"…"

'Is that a motha' fuckin' grimm?!'

'At least I know where I am now... or at least the dimension...'

Its head snaps over to me and it looks like it is about to charge me.

I open a portal under its foot and close it slightly once it falls inside, locking it in place as it inadvertently kicks itself in the face.

I then dash AROUND the spooky demon wolf and continue down the path, releasing my hold on the portal when I am a safe one thousand or so feet away.

'I wonder if that sliced off the limb or not...'

I tilt my head and fold my hands behind my head. "Ah well, questions for later~"

* * *

I hunch over slightly. 'Dear god... how long have I been walking?! An hour?! Three hours?! TEN MINUTES?!'

I wipe my forehead and slowly walk forwards, starting to just reach the top of the hill I am walking on. "Yeesh"

"DAAAAMN" I sigh as I finally reach the top of the hill, revealing a large city fairly close. 'at least I made it am I right?'

I jog down the hill and turn off to the left, reaching the wall in a couple of minutes.

'let's see if this works...'

A portal opens in front of me, granting me sight to the other side of the wall.

I quickly hop through it.

I let out a few quick pants as I rest my hands on my knees.

'I can't hold those larger portals open for long, can I?'

My stomach growls at me. 'ugh... I need some food...'

I blink several times. 'annnd I know just how I am going to get it!'

I search for a vending machine, eventually finding one for drinks and one for snacks after about 30 minutes.

I wave my hand, opening two portals and causing a drink to fall into my hand.

"Mountain... doodle?" I ask slowly with a small head tilt.

Then once more, this time in the food vending machine. "Plays potato chips?"

I shrug and continue on my way.

* * *

'annnd now I live in a cardboard box like a fuckin hobo~!'

'GREAT!'

I lean back against the wall I placed the box against.

'at least this will hold out for the light shower to pass...'

The patter of rain striking concrete and cardboard lessens... then it completely stops.

I stretch as I leave the safety of "The Box**Tm**"

***Click***

Something is pressed against the back of my head. "Alright, kid... no sudden moves... come with me and you won't die."

I create a small coin sized portal inside the gun's barrel.

Somebody leaps down from a building. "Oi. Leave the kid alone." A man with a gruff voice grumbles.

The man behind me instantly swerves around, turning me around and placing a hand around my neck, putting the gun up to my temple. "Stay back or the boy gets it."

I look back at the man behind me.

"Bored now..." I sigh, pulling the trigger of his gun.

"NO WAIT-" the man in front of me shouts.

The man behind me spits up blood as he flies backwards, a slowly expanding circle of red flowing from a hole in his stomach.

I wink once at the man in the distance and fall INTO the floor as I open a portal below me, reappearing a couple buildings away on a roof, the portal quickly closing behind me.

'PoRtAlS aRe WeAk In CoMbAt' I mentally scoff.

I hop off the roof and fall into a portal that shoots me up onto the next roof.

'huh... I can hold these better than the full standing height portals...'

I stretch. 'and it just feels SOOO natural~'

"Hup." I grunt as I leap off this building as well.

I continue my building hopping until I reach a nice 2 story building without a roof access and with several pipes and vents to take cover by.

'time to start training my semblance into an ungodly weapon of mass destruction~'

I open a small portal, roughly the size of a pen's tip.

I feel a MASSIVE drain as the portal starts sucking in air at a fairly slow pace.

The portal quickly snaps shut after I run out of energy, not even being able to hold it for a second.

I sigh. "I clearly need some more work if I can't hold a portal that size for more than a couple of seconds..."

I pout. "That's how I was going to solve most of my problems... but I am too weak to even banish a gnat..."

I roll my eyes. 'insert obligatory training montage...'

* * *

I have been in this god forsaken world for about a month now, and I have really grown strong! And by strong, I mean I could do that pen-tip-sized portal thing for TWO seconds now... instead of just less than one!

I slouch on a bed of coats and clothing I have stolen with my portals, just under a small tarp that is hung by the corner of an ac unit.

A piece of paper materializes in front of me.

**Dear Teal Indie, **

**HI! It's me again! Good job on surviving! As a reward for surviving this long, I am going to grant you the knowledge of your next portal power!**

**Basically, you may unlock a separate dimension that you may retreat into whenever you want! (provided you have the energy of course) Currently it is pretty small, but eventually, it may expand to the size of a planet!**

**You can enter it fully and close the starting portal without worry, because when you try to leave again, the portal will appear in the same place as where you originally opened and closed it, however, for excess mana you may move the opening point, allowing you to get out of hairy situations.**

**As I said, good job surviving a month, here's to 11 more!**

**\- Godess-chan **

I shrug and open a palm sized portal, and stare inside.

"EEP!" I instantly close it as multiple red eyes stare back.

"…"

I open it again, looking into the black abyss, red eyes EVERYWHERE.

"blatant plagiarism aside... this is pretty cool."

I let out a nice and long groan as I stretch, then I poke my head into the portal

"BOI THIS IS ONLY ENOUGH ROOM FOR A FUCKING CHAIR!"

The room- if you could even call it that- is a nice and small four feet by four feet by five feet, the longest direction being height.

"I'm fucking calling this 'the upside down' from now on..."

I pull my head out and close the portal.

'now the question is: 'should I act like a mischievous god?' And the answer might surprise you...'

'I'm feeling a 'yeah'… not gonna lie'

'hell, this isn't even my semblance, god knows what that is, so I think I could pull off the mischievous god routine...'

"No use staying here" I shrug as I open a portal to 'the upside down'

I roll up my matress as barely manage to fit it in after expanding the portal slightly, then, after scooping up my pillow and scattered clothing that I use as blankets, I follow.

Now that I get a better look at it, it ISN'T just a black abyss with red eyes, it is actually a night sky with thousands of brilliant stars in the distance... well, 'distance' considering that they are within arm's reach.

'let's see about this...'

I focus back on where I was, causing one of the eyes to enlarge slightly and show me where I just was through a small, barely seen portal.

I flatten out my mattress and lay down.

'ugh I need more leg room... wait can't I just-'

The room shifts as the roof comes down a foot or two, expanding outwards in both of the horizontal directions.

"this is the feckin life~" I hum as I fold my arms behind my head.

"…"

"I wonder if I can sneak into a movie theater like this."

* * *

I lay, without a care in the world, a recently acquired bag of popcorn and a large soda in my hands.

I shift the dimension of 'the upside down' forwards another inch.

'shame I can only move about an inch every 30 seconds...'

I take a long sip of my bubbly caffeinated drink.

'In this form it takes me 6 fucking minutes to even move a foot...'

My portals to 'the upsidedown' are a bit weird, I can summon them immediately if I am on the outside... (The cost being larger the farther away I am) but inside... everything seems to slow to a crawl... I guess it is a small price to pay for literal invulnerability~

The box is getting bigger as well... the ceiling is almost a full millimeter higher than when I first got here an hour ago... admittedly most of this was spent outside, but having a portable home like a turtle is great fun!

It allows me to eat and sleep in peace!

I yawn. "Bored now..."

I fall through the mattress, landing on my feet about 20 feet from where I was staying in my dimension, soda in hand.

I watch as four boys run after a smaller girl- the girl being maybe 11 or 12- in a red cloak.

'it's always fucking Cardin eh? Ah well... interacting with the main cast sounds pretty fun~'

The girl dips into an alleyway, the four boys following.

I shrug and fall into the floor.

"Alright, dork! Apologize and ill beat your face in!" The leader steps forwards as oh look! This alley turned out to be a dead end!

"Sh-shouldn't it be 'or'?" The small cloaked figure asks.

Cardin responds by launching his fist towards her head.

"YANGHELP" Ruby wimpers while covering her head... however the punch never lands.

"Grk-" Cardin's head is snapped to the right by his own fist, a portal opened in front of his arm and redirecting the punch to his right.

I casually announce my prescience with a simple sentence. "Now now, isn't it a bit rude for four big strong-dumb- boys to pick on a single small girl?"

They all look over to me and flinch back as they see me sat in a portal of eyes and stars.

I hop out and close the portal behind me, pointing to Cardin.

"Your next line is 'W-Who do you think you are PUNK!' To you~"

Cardin gets up, his punch actually knocking him on his ass. "W-Who do you think you are PU- ***Gasp***"

Everybody in the alleyway gasps as well.

"H-How did you do that?" I ask.

"H-How did you do that?" Cardin asks at the same time I do. ***Gasp***

"That's a stupid question..." I grin. "The real question is... 'do you want to fight a god like me'? Cause that's what's gonna happen if you continue doing what you are doing~"

**ゴ**  
**ゴ**  
**ゴ**  
**ゴ**

They all take a step back.

***Fwub* *Fwub* *Fwub***

Cardin and his group of cronies look behind him to see a trashcan rapidly picking up speed by falling into a portal repeatedly.

"I would run before that trashcan hits terminal velocity... it could probably break through a brick wall then~"

They all scream in terror and run away.

"Cool." I shrug, dispelling the lower portal and allowing the trashcan to crumple onto the floor.

"THANKYOU!" Ruby exclaims as she tries to move on to the many questions she has. "HOWDIDYOUDOALLTHAT?!ISYOURSEMBLANCEPORTALS?!IFSOHOWDIDYOUSEETHEFUTURE-"

I fall into the floor, popping out on the roof of the building above Ruby, where I sit down with my legs hanging over the edge.

She rapidly looks around eventually looking up towards me.

"You have a lot of untapped potential, we should fight someday." I wink once, stand, then fall backwards into an eye-portal to 'the upside down.'

"Rubes?!" A new voice shouts as she runs into the alleyway.

"YAAANG!" Said person suddenly gets tackled by a red blur. "YOU MISSED THE COOLEST THING IN THE WORLD!"

"ow." Yang mutters from the ground.

She slowly sits up. "hm? 'coolest thing in the world?' How could I miss it if I am right here?"

"Noooo you don't understand." Ruby whines as she hops up.

"This boy was about to punch me, but then he punched himself in the face because of a portal! Then this kid showed up in this freaky eye portal and was all-" she continues in a mock gruff voice, trying to sound more boy-ish as she bounces slightly. "Now, Now isn't it rude for four boys to pick on a small girl?"

Ruby takes a deep breath as she continues her story in her regular voice. "then he hopped out of it and pointed to the guy who punched himself and was all-" ***Back to the Gruff Voice* **"Your next line is 'who do you think you are, punk' ***Back to normal voice* **AND THE GUY ACTUALLY SAID IT WORD FOR WORD!"

"ANDTHENHEPUTATRASHCANINAPORTALAND-"

I tune her out as her slowly increasing pace gets faster and faster

Yang blinks. "I'm gonna be honest... I only got to the part where you said you were about to get punched..."

She smiles in a sickeningly sweet way. "Now, why don't you tell your dear sister who tried to punch you and I will go have a firm talking to them~"

"Nono please don't do that! I accidently tripped and he spilled water on himself because of me! DON'T KILL HIM YANG PLEAASE!"

'okay... she is fucking adorable...'

I yawn and stretch slightly, closing the small portal I had been using to listen in on their conversation and another that I had been using to watch.

I place a sleeve from a nearby shirt over my eyes. 'now im gonna take a little nap.'

* * *

**Sup! This was the other thing I was working on besides 'Monster Huntersman' now I am going to ask you a question, should I write more of this, Monster Huntersman, while I take a small break from the remnant gamer?**

**Until Next Time~**


	2. Chapter 2 Electric Boogaloo

**Don't Own Rwby, Only The Oc**

'thought'

"Speech"

**"Tvs, Radios, and Text via book or newspaper... when those are around..."**

_(Mid Chapter Authors Notes)_

* * *

I pick up a small block of wood, more a stick than a block, and poke it through one of my portals. 'let's see what this does...'

I move it over towards the edge of the portal.

Taking a deep breath, I press it up against the side of the portal.

***Thunk***

"…"

I hit it repeatedly on the inside wall of the portal.

***Thunk***

***Thunk***

***Thunk***

"Oh thank god..." I sigh. "I thought it I got too close to the edge, my arm would fall off... but it looks like it has a solid wall stopping my- and my enemies- imminent dismemberment."

I abruptly stop holding the portal open, causing it to shrink to the size of the stick, then I pull the stick out and watch as the portal closes.

"Damn... so no chopping people in half with portals? That's both a gift and curse..."

My eyebrow twitches as this annoying fucking fly won't leave me alone.

"Grrr"

My hands twitch slightly.

"…"

"BANISHED!" I exclaim as I clench my fist and raise a hand to the sky.

A portal opens up and sucks it inside, then closes less than a second later.

'hope you like space, ya jackass...'

I wipe my forehead. 'you know... maybe I should work on several portals over a short distance for long times instead of using my space portals for 3 seconds then spending about an hour resting...

I shrug. "Ah well... I'll do that in an hour..."

* * *

'sooo what's going on out in the world today~' I mentally hum as I open a couple of small portals while resting in 'the upside down'.

'There's Qrow pulling a batman on a building... looks like he is searching for something...'

'there's Cardin playing in the park... seemingly he has forgotten about last week... and oh look, Ruby and Yang are there as well... on the other side of the park.'

'a creep that managed to sneak its way into the park somehow- wait what?!'

"…"

I fall through the mattress and reappear roughly 100 feet away from where I saw the grimm skulking in the bushes.

"YANG!" A voice exclaims maybe 30 feet behind me. "ITS HIIIIM!"

I hold my arm up in a wave as I walk into some of the slightly deeper brush in the park, not even looking back.

"OI! WAIT!" Yang shouts as she runs after me.

I don't even slow my walk.

"WAAIIIT"

"…"

The creep abruptly leaps out of the bushes, letting out a screech of excitement.

"A GRIMM?!" Yang shouts.

I roll my eyes slightly and stab forwards as I unsheathe my knife.

A blade appears under the creep as my arm flows through a portal-

***Schlick***

Stabbing it right in the chest, then I draw my arm back and stab again, this time hitting its spine and knocking it to the ground where it's leg falls into a portal and gets locked in place.

It screeches in annoyance as it thrashes.

"And now for the finisher!"

I turn my body to the side and dramatically point one hand, palm out, towards it.

"Perish."

"SO COOL!" Ruby exclaims in the background.

A coin sized portal opens above it and an orange goop drips out onto its back.

It shrieks in agony as the strange liquid splashes all over its back and slowly seems to lose its bright orange color.

The creep dies horribly as burning MAGMA is poured on its back.

"Woooah!" Ruby exclaims.

I look back over towards the two girls an expression of complete boredom. "Need something?"

Yang flinches back and quickly looks away, kicking a nearby pebble slightly.

"Your next line is: 'I just kind of wanted to say thank you for helping my little sis...' To you..."

"I just kind of wanted to say thank you for helping-"

"…" She blinks and turns to Ruby. "Wow... you weren't lying..."

"Yaaang" Ruby cries. "I never lie- what's that."

Her train of thought is broken as she notices something behind me.

I turn around to see a new type of portal, while my transportation/scrying portals have black rims, and my 'the upside down' portals have eyes in them, this portal has a rim of blue fire, and the inside is a swirling mass of white that is gaining black swirls as the decaying grimm is BEING SUCKED INTO IT.

"…"

"Meh..." I shrug as I turn around. "Knowing clichés, I can probably summon a friendly creep now."

I yawn. "See ya around... or not... I don't care one way or the other."

I go to take a step into a portal opening below my feet.

"W-WAIT!" Ruby exclaims.

I pause and look over to her, a still impassive expression adorning my face.

She falters slightly under my gaze.

"U-Uh d-do you want to be friends?" She stutters.

'cute.'

"You don't want to be friends with a homeless bum like me." I deadpan. "Plus, your drunk uncle scares me..."

"Wh-"

"He's in that tree over there." I point to the scruffy man trying to act really stealthy, crouched in the branches, body partially behind the trunk.

I cup my mouth, allowing me to shout more clearly at him. "YOUR NEXT LINE IS 'How did that little bastard see me?!' TO YOU~."

He seems to open his mouth and begins to step out, but I hop into 'the upside down.'

'what a fucking faggit am I right readers.'

I snicker 'not gonna do anything with Ozpin's fucking bullshit until canon~'

"ONWARDS TRANSDEMENSIONAL TANK!"

I slide forwards an inch.

"…"

'I'm probably just going to wait for them to leave...'

* * *

And thus, my activities of stealing an ice cream-based soon-to-be psycho and moving her away from her fate, completed, purely because I was bored and wanted to cuck roman of a partner- yes he was there too, about to step into the situation and save her, but I just made her fall into a portal that went several hundred feet away... would like to reiterate... B. O. R. E. D. and totally not because the author probably couldn't handle writing EEEVIL Neo... pfft what sort of fucking pussy do you take him for?

I wipe sweat off my forehead as I glare at the sun.

"Fuck this shit, IM GOIN TO ATLAS!"

* * *

It was fairly easy to get onto the floating fortress of doom, all I needed to do was do some sly cooper-esque bullshit by wire-tapping a rock... which I threw through a window..., then I fucking stole the hubcap off an aircraft dolly's back right wheel and then I had to seduce a lamp post and- PHAHAHA you actually fucking believed that?! Nah I am totally fucking with you! I just teleported myself into the airship's cargo bay and slept in a box...

I grin at the massive city, the bustling streets of high-class citizens, fancy cars- which is fucking retarded because like I said, the city is FUCKING FLOATING... can guarantee some drunk idiot took a swan dive off the edge in his fucking Subaru because he hit a slope too hard.

I take a nice deep breath of the cold and crisp air, shoving my hands into my coat pockets as I breath out, causing a puff of steam to flow from my nose and mouth.

'you know what! Let's go fuck with the Schnees! That sounds like a grrrrand way to pass the time~'

* * *

I quietly snicker in my alternate dimension

"Where has that pen gone?" A childish but regal voice asks as a small white-haired girl looks around a room

Said pen is currently sitting on a bedside table across the room.

"UWAH?! How did it get over there?!" She asks as she abruptly stands and walks across the room.

I drop a folded piece of paper on her desk.

She sits back down and scoots the chair closer to her desk.

"Oh?"

She unfolds the note.

"What's This?"

**"Wiess Unfolds the paper, 'What's This?' She asks as she ponders what is happening as clearly something is amiss... first with the pen, then with this strange note... sadly her musing is cut short as her butler, Klien decides to check up on her after hearing her earlier confusion... 'Are you alright, Wiess' He asks as he opens the door. 'I heard you shout.' Wiess turns to the butler and gives a curt. "No, Klien, I am fine... it's just that this note- *Gasp* she realizes that the note had perfectly predicted her future! What could this mean?! Was there some god watching her? How had the note even gotten there?! And what of her future?!" **

The door opens. "Are you alright, Wiess?" The man at the door asks. "I heard you shout."

She turns to the butler without thinking, "No, Klien, I am fine... it's just that this note-" ***GASP***

"What's wrong my little snowflake?" Klien asks as he takes notice that Wiess had nearly leapt out of her seat and is looking at her desk fearfully.

"Oh? A note?" he asks.

"…"

"This is quite disturbing..." He says after a couple of seconds.

"Pfft-" both of their heads snap to look at the top corner of the room where I am sat in an eye portal, hood up and a mask covering my lower face.

"PFFT" I snicker. "Oh! you should have seen the look on your faces!"

I blink all humor out of my expression. "Your next line is 'Miss Schnee, get behind me.' To you."

"Miss Schnee, get behind me." He whispers to the small girl who is staring up at me.

I sigh. "You know... I should really stop doing that... it is really taking away the wonder of it if I just keep telling you your next words before you even say them."

"Hmmmmmm..." I hum as I look up at the ceiling, tapping my chin as I do. "I should get another gimmick... I could probably get away with saying 'yare yare daze' a couple times... but that would probably also get old..."

"Wh-What do you want from me?!" Wiess asks.

"Nothing... I was bored and you sated that boredom... for a while at least~." I shrug. "Good job."

I notice Klien's eyes shift to red.

"I'll have you know-"

"Ugh... a rant?" I sigh cutting him off. "Jeez if you wanted me gone you could have just said so... no need to bore me to death with your words."

I scoff. "Maybe the grimm attacking the wall down there will be my friends."

"Wh-"

I leap off my perch and fall through the floor, appearing below the large sky city, allowing myself to free-fall for a while.

'if I open a portal below me before I hit the ground, I should EASILY be able to rocket my way over to the wall...'

I open a portal below me, a second one situated at an angled 'up' direction.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-"

I fall towards the ground and open another portal, continuing my arc.

"OKAY THIS IS KIND OF FUN- SHIIIII-"

I open a portal between the outer wall and my face, a second being on the other side.

"WEEEEEE-" I land crouched on the shoulders of a beowolf. "Is this seat taken?"

The grimm thrashes about in an attempt to throw me off.

I backflip off and point to it. "You are already dead."

**"Grr?" **

A steel beam pierces through its back, causing smoke to absolutely SPEW from the hole it makes as the steel H shaped object continues into the side of another grimm, this time a creep... and it faced the same- if not worse fate!

Think what would happen if you dropped a cockroach into a turned on blender... and that's basically what happened to its head.

The beam continued and ended up stuck half-way into the twenty-foot wall behind me where I notice a lot of people with guns.

"Huh... there's a lot of smoke around here~"

A that strange blue fire portal- this time about the size of a dumpster- opens behind me and starts sucking up all the grimm smoke like a vacuum cleaner on steroids.

After the smoke dissipates the blue fire portal behind me closes.

The remaining grimm, about forty or so Creeps, ten or so Beowolves and an Ursa stare at me.

I blink. "You know...this just seems right..."

I hold out my hand in front of me as they all charge at me.

The blue fire portal sparks to life in front of me, a large grey arm slamming out of the portal, the muscles on it easily being larger than my head as its clawed fingers dig into the ground.

"Huh..."

I make the portal slightly bigger, allowing a head to poke through.

It has a long and thick snout, roughly half a foot long and maybe a third of that wide, the top half being covered with a black mask that makes a horn on its nose.

It roars loudly, making all of the grimm pause their charge and take a step back.

I sigh and expend all my energy making the portal large enough for it to leave my dimension.

'I need a name for this thing...'

It fully leaves the portal and looks back at me, it stands on its hind legs, easily about one point five times the size of a normal beowolf, it has a long scaly tail with a spiked black ball on the end, black bone plates covering its shoulders and chest and a couple black spikes in a line down its four elbows... that's right... it has FOUR ARMS... it seems to be a weird mashup of a beowolf and a creep... maybe some ursa thrown in there because of how fucking SWOLE this thing is.

"…"

I point to the grimm. "Aberrant. Get em."

It roars once more, the guttural shriek causing nearby snow to fall out of trees as it falls onto four limbs, the lower second pair of arms folding nicely against it stomach as it charges forwards.

It reaches the first pack of cannon fodder, creeps, then, as it changes to its back feet, it swings its middle legs upwards, sending several creeps flying through the air.

I smile as it easily tears through the first pack, sending smoke flying towards a basketball sized portal, I summoned in front of my hand.

My grimmy boi picks up a random beowolf by the arms and rips it in half as he crushes a creep underfoot, his tail imbedding itself in the head of another beowolf.

Then with a flurry of claw slashes, it completely shreds most of the grimm around it.

An alpha beowolf leaps at it, Aberrant stops it by grabbing both of its shoulders and sinking its teeth into its throat, then tosses its rapidly decaying corpse into another wall of creeps that were rushing the large abomination.

The ursa charges Aberrant and hits him with its claws, sending him sliding back over to me.

"Need more reach?" I ask.

**"Grrr"**

"Ah... Oke... use this." I open a portal in front of him

He shoves his hand through and rips the steel beam out of the wall roughly 30 feet behind us.

I yawn. "Alright... you finish this up, then return to my portal realm I guess."

I smile and retreat to 'the upside down', my last vision of Aberrant being him smashing the steel beam into the head of the ursa.

"…" I blink and look around my Demensional gap.

"HOLY SHIT IT NEARLY DOUBLED IN SIZE!"

* * *

"Ugh I'm booooored." I cry into the eternal darkness of 'the upside down'

It has been roughly a day since I created Aberrant and I realized that there isn't much to do, Plot doesn't start for another 4 years or so and my inactivity is driving me MAD.

"Hmmm..."

"I could always mess with portals..." I shrug as I tilt my head to the side. "That seems like a pretty cool idea..."

I appear in the snowy forest and place a few blocks of wood on a log before taking out a small rock and dropping it into the classic infinite fall setup.

"Bang." I say while I point my finger at one of the logs, moving the top portal to my fingertip.

***Clunk***

The block falls down as the pebble hits the first block of wood, then as It pings off into the forest, I create a portal in front of it and allow it to fall back into my hands, an annoying sting passing through my hand as it lands.

I toss it back into the two portals and allow another shot to charge up.

***Clunk***

Another block goes down as a portal opens behind me, a large grey arm lashing out to catch an arrow that fell from the sky.

"…"

"What sort of fucking idiot is shooting arrows into the sky?!" I ask as I gesture for Aberrant to yeet the arrow away. "Trying to kill the sun or some stupid shit like that?!"

The arrow pierces a nearby tree trunk and is stuck about half an inch in.

I yawn, picking up the two blocks of wood and placing them back into 'the upside down', which has now grown quite more due to me sleeping in it and because I unlocked another piece of my power, earlier, it was barely big enough for me to keep a single bed in it and I couldn't even stand in it, now it is about the size of a truck and I can EVEN JUMP!

"Actually, Aberrant... can you get me that arrow? You throw it pretty well and I would like a new ranged option."

A portal opens and a hand tugs the arrow out of the tree, dropping it into another portal that is created.

'damn hunters...'

A creep leaps out of the brush, running quickly towards me, as it reaches maybe a foot away, a hand shoots out of a portal and grabs its neck where it slowly draws it back in to where I can assume it had a violent and brutal death and became fuel for my summoning ability.

"Well, now what should I do?" I sigh.

* * *

**And thus, he gets even more op...**

**AND UNLOCKS HIS STAND! WHO'S NAME IS SUCH A MOUTHFULL HE WILL MOST LIKELY RENAME IT SOMETHING ELSE AT SOME POINT!**

**….**

**Is it bad that I can feel my internal organs pulsing inside my body? Like I think its my liver... ill be FIIIINE! The sooner I die the sooner I can stop writing for you little shits! (jk) **

**Tho fr anyone who's filming a millennial horror movie where the cast just wants to die, hit me up!**

**Guest reviews:**

**Some bot maybe: "Wait... This story is anything you can do with portals... Portals...**  
**Portals to other dimensions...**  
**Jaeger's...**  
**Portals to JAEGERS**  
**Or anything, but JAEGERS**  
**U stole our Jaegers from the first remnant gamer, now it's time for u to fix that."**

**.**

**"WANT TO SEE INSIDE YOUR OWN HEART?!" *Blood starts squirting out of the portal at an alarming rate***

**.**

**Guest 001: "I thought that said pizza at first **  
**A pizza delivery service that uses portals to deliver its pizzas on time.**  
**HOLE-y pizza! Best pizzas delivered lickity split!"**

**.**

**He could totally pull it off~**

**.**

**Ill: "Wow, just...WOW!**  
**This is very, VERY, entertaining!**  
**Will he be able to 'Move' the portals? So that he can throw them! Imagine, a forced teletransportation through a gaping maw of a portal, or a bisection from a portal being thrown like a all-piercing shuriken! All depending on how was the portal 'Thrown'!**  
**And I liked that it is only one ability! An OP ability, but only one nonetheless!**  
**Will he be able to throw stuff Gilgamesh-style? With a "Gate Of Babylonia" type of portal.**  
**Is he within the same age as Team RWBY? Will he develop properly? Or will he stay as an "God-like" Shota?**  
**Also, I am awaiting untill he is able to throw Grimm like he did to the rocks!**  
**Thanks for the chapter!"**

**.**

**Probs just going to stay a godly lil shota**

**.**

**Guest 002: "I'm liking this one better than the others already."**

**.**

**NOBODY ASKED FOR YOUR OPINION MIRANDAH! (Jk I am quite enjoying writing it.)**

**.**

**OnIJ: "... a man died today, wait did he?"**

**.**

**Nah... it hit his non-vital organs... like his kidneys... **

**Which one? **

**Yes.**

**.**

**Guest 003: " Definitely prefer this to the monster one. Just don't give the gamer story too much of a break!"**

**.**

**k.**

**.**

**Ozpin: "I would appreciate both stories updated but use your time as you see fit.**  
**-Headmaster Myridan Ozpin**  
**END TRANSMISSION"**

**.**

**k.**

**.**

**Guest 004: "More of thus for sure. It has so much potentional and with mc going troll god route than this wont get boring after a couple chapters"**

**.**

**Eeeeeh... he might get so powerful that he just fucking offs everyone by sending them to the moon...**

**.**

**Guest 005: " Teal x ruby because we never get enough of those"**

**.**

**That is what I was planning, yes.**

**.**

**GuymanV2: "I WANT to see more oc this, even more then the 2 other fanfictions**

**also does it take you a week to right a chapter or do you just release them every week"**

**.**

_***unoriginal snarky comment***_

**.**

**6011: "I like it!"**

**.**

**Cool!**

**.**

**Guest 006 (God damn there are so fucking many of you): "This is aca actually amazing, I really hope to see more"**

**.**

**From: Squidward **  
**To: Guest 006**

**"Well, here you go." **

**.**

**NeonNinja219: "I think you should definitely post more of this. Really enjoyed the first chapter!"**

**.**

**Done!**

**.**

**GoTeam: "For the love of God I love this story. Best so far."**

**.**

**Thanks!**

**.**

**Some bot maybe:**** "This or MH? That's a tough decision depending on where you lead both stories... Unless u decided to cycle them, but it all depends on what the people want i guess, or if you want to cycle them or focus on one at a time."**

**.**

**Wait a minute... you already posted a review! THAT'S ILLIEGAL!**

**.**

**Now for a short omake!**

* * *

**Omake: Thinking with portals. (Noncanon)**

"You are already dead." Said a small blac- blue haired boy as he points towards a huge buff thug with tiny baby hands. "As we speak, microscopic portals are stealing bits of your D.N.A! soon you wont even be able to hold your mass up and you will just flop to the floor in a mass of blobby flesh!"

"HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE DESTROYED ON A MOLECULAR LEVEL!?" The boy shouts. "AHAHAHAH!"

"CELL BY CELL ATOM BY ATO- OH SHIT!"

***BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM***

And thus, the lake of Solitas was born... in the middle of the destroyed city of Atlas, the only thing remaining being a small blac- blue haired child as he climbs out of a rift in reality, the starting explosion sending tsunamis cascading across the planet.

"Shit..."

"…"

"I guess I can replace Wiess in Team Rwby now... or would it be team... Battery now?" (Btry)

Weiss lifts a piece of scrap and lets out a cough, expelling dust from her lungs.

"Too soon?" I ask.

"Too soon." She nods.

* * *

**See ya!**


	3. Chapter 3: Deja vu! I've just been in t-

**Don't Own Rwby, Only The Oc**

'thought'

"Speech"

**"Tvs, Radios, and Text via book or newspaper... when those are around..."**

_(Mid Chapter Authors Notes)_

_**WEEELLL WEEEELLLL WELL LOOK WHAT WE HAVE HERE! I-is this a chapter?! 'But flame?! I thought you only posted on Fridays... or Sundays... Or Saturdays... Or that one time you posted on a Thursday...'**_

_**I GOT BORED OKAY! :c **_

_**Here have this!**_

* * *

"Eh." I sigh as I blankly stare up at the ceiling.

I look over to Aberrant who is tightly curled up, lying on the ground, still taking up more than half of the room.

"What would the most mischievous and fun thing for me to do be?" I ask the mutant grimm.

It tilts it head and holds out a claw and dips it into a small square sand box.

"R..."

"E..."

"L..."

"I..."

"C..."

"Relic?"

It nods.

"The fuck do you mean by that- oooooh... the relics created by light boi..."

The grimm nods again.

"I wonder if I steal that creation staff if I could make stand arrows... or the dragon balls... or the death note... or maybe even replicate sword birth and blade blacksmith from the anime that shall not be mentioned..."

'to be honest... I think that the staff would be the only one I could steal because its general size and shape...'

The grimm growls twice.

"Try it?"

Aberrant nods.

"Fiiine." I sigh.

A tennis ball sized portal comes to life in front of my hand, it sparks slightly and instantly closes.

"Eh... didn't really think it would work anyway... They are like in a totally different dimension only accessible by maidens, right?"

The grimm snorts and lays its head back down.

"Sorry, buddy."

I yawn and exit the upside down, once again finding myself in the upper district of Atlas.

I spend the remaining hour or so of the morning pickpocketing entitled little shits of their lien... clearly, I need it more than them at the moment considering I have literally nothing to buy food- I mean I could always steal some, but I want to eat fast food again damnit!

Someone taps my shoulder.

"Hm? Need something?" I hum as I look over to a tall man with a single piece of metal over his right eyebrow- oh fuck... that's James Ironwood

"Why are you all alone here, Child?" He asks as he kneels down to my level.

I blink at him.

"Because the world is a fucking hellhole, I can rely on nobody, and everyone looks out for themselves?"

He flinches at my really blunt response.

I yawn and walk away. "Byeo"

'damn... instead of portals I should have picked a Stand... or Hamon... that would have been pretty cool-'

Ironwood coughs into his fist.

"Nobody cares about you, side character, I'm having an inner monologue." I growl.

Then I fall through the floor, uttering a final "People these days..."

* * *

"MUAHAHAHAH!" I cackle in a satirical manner, pointing my index finger at a random tree standing across from me. "You are already dead."

"….?!" Wind blows the branches slightly.

The tree is suddenly split in half by a blade of water that spouts from a portal shaped to resemble a gash.

"AAAYE! I was able to actually do it this time!" I exclaim.

"…"

"maybe I am TOO powerful..." A gust of wind blows my hair slightly.

"…"

"Damn one punch man scenario..."

I look to the beowolf- a normal EEEVIL beowolf- falling through an endless loop of portals, having already reached terminal velocity and had its arms n legs ripped off from when it tried to leave.

I launch the- now limbless- beowolf towards another that had been pinned to a tree by a couple of sharp sticks through its arms and legs.

"Bye Bye~"

The limbless grimm collides with the chest of the second, shattering its ribcage and killing both.

"D.E.A.D."

My fire portal appears and gives the grimm smoke the good ol SUCC, transporting the grimm dust inside where I am working on my next creation!

'oh wow... it's done! Just wait! The next thing to piss me off is getting FUCKED UP!'

I yawn as I hop up into a branch. "nooow where in the wide and wonderful world am I?"

"In OUR territo-" gruff balding man begins to shout, but I silence him by tossing a couple of logs at him.

"…"

"You startled me... " I deadpan toward the pile of logs.

'hmm... last time I checked I was somewhere in... Mistral?'

A grey hand stops a blade inches from my head.

"Ah? A chakram? So thaaat's where I am." I hum.

'actually, the readers might get pissy if I don't call it the correct weapon... hmmm... the cross between a chakram and a deer horn knife then...'

Another fist impacts the stomach of the EXTREMELY short haired woman that tried to strike me.

"G-GUH-" she winces as she is sent flying.

"Come on." I sigh. "That's kind of pathetic!"

Vernal rolls off the tree and lands crouched on the ground.

"W-what was that?" She mutters as she presses her hand against her stomach.

Hup" I grunt as I hop off my own branch and land on the ground below.

I roll my shoulders and grin. "So, you want to fight eh?"

Four arms appear out of portals behind me.

"you think you can kill a god?"

She points both of her weapons at me.

"…"

***Bwee***

I tilt my head to the right as two thin beams of light go through where my left eye would have been.

I sigh and hold up a hand as the four arms of Abberant- now named Jeff because Abberant was tiring to say- pick up arrows and fling them at the bandit in front of me.

She manages to parry them quite easily.

"Fine then, all out it is." I roll my eyes.

I summon a Grimm portal in front of me, crackling blue energy sparking from the sides to the ground where it slightly tears the ground.

"Bang."

A spear shoots out of the portal and imbeds itself right where Vernal's chest used to be, but she managed to avoid it by leaping to the side.

She lands a couple feet to the left and crosses her arms, folding her weapons to a more compact state as she does.

"Interesting semblance, Portals, right? But there is something strange about it... what are those arms?" She asks. "You have already lost, I'm faster than you and stronger than you, the only reason you landed a blow is because you caught me off guard, you might as well be sporting about it."

"Sure, why not?" I shrug. "I can do many things, what you are currently seeing is my ability to absorb grimm smoke and turn it into amalgamations of grimm, recently I figured out I can even turn them into weapons and armor, plus I can even grant them special effects based on how much grimm essence I pack into them."

"Damn." She whistles. "That's pretty unique."

"The special effects are powerful as well" I grin. "Take that spear for instance."

Her eyes widen as she tries to leap away.

The spear has a black shaft and a red triangle tip, along the back side of the spear tip are two barrels that instantly spit out flames as it punches completely through the tree and flies through a portal.

One of Jeffs arms catch the spear and toss it at Vernal as she leaps through the air, this time, the tubes fully spitting out gouts of flame as the spear rockets towards her and collides with her stomach. "GAH-"

She slams into a tree and flies through it, grunting as her aura takes the brunt of the strike.

I let out a long breath, drawing in two of Jeff's arms. 'shouldn't have tossed those logs at that dude.'

"If you are still conscious, I'll be forced to show you my Special Attack!" I shout in the direction that she flew.

My own spear flies towards my head, stopped inches from my eye by two of Jeffs arms.

"Meep!"

I turn around and sprint on the other direction as Jeff pulls the spear back into the portal with his arms.

'FUCK! OUT OF POWER!'

"NIGERUNDAYO!"

"GET BACK HERE YOU LITTLE SHIT!"

"AAAAA-"

* * *

I place my hands on my knees and breath heavily.

"alright... I think I lost her."

"Ahem."

I look up to see her lazing in a tree with her arms behind her head.

"…"

A portal to the upside down opens behind me and I flip her off with both hands, then I leap backwards.

"Ack-" she kicks me in the forehead.

The world goes black.

* * *

"Oh wow... you did a number on the brat..." A female voice sighs. "I had to awaken his aura for him to even survive that blow to the head."

"How was I supposed to know he didn't have Aura? He was tossing around portals and shit like nothing." Vernal grumbles.

"It is fine, Vernal, most powers come from aura, and considering that he _is_ male, I would have made the same mistake... however he would have perished nigh instantaneously." The first voice continues. "He should be waking up any time now... be here when he does."

"Alright."

I wait for the sounds of the other woman to leave.

"I know you're awake, Little Shit, your breathing quickened."

I fall into the floor- ***Clang***

I am now hung upside down in the upside down by one of my ankles.

"…"

"You didn't notice the chain, did you?" Vernal asks as she looks down at me.

"Maybe my favorite pastime is hanging upside down? You don't know!" I pout.

She grabs the chain and tugs me out of my portal.

"Three..." I count.

"What are you doing?" She asks with a quirked eyebrow.

"Four..." I blink as I realize she asked me a question. "Oh, just counting how many times I could have already killed you."

She drops me and scoffs. "Yeah right."

"Water in your lungs, dirt in the lungs, dripping magma down your throat, just warping you several miles up into the sky, making you drop through a portal that closes around your neck, teleporting you to the bottom of the sea, tossing you into a pit filled with grimm, opening a portal inside your heart and watching in satisfaction as blood squirts out of the hole and onto the g- Ow-"

She punches the top of my head. "Oi, quit. it." She growls.

"Five~" I grin.

She grabs the chain and trips me with it, then she picks me up by the ankle, removing the chain, then carries me away.

"Rude." I frown. "And just so you know, you fucking communist, I can get away at any time I want..."

"Mhm." She hums with half lidded eyes as she continues walking.

"Oi! Take me seriously! I am a BIG threat! I can blow up the effin' planet if I really wanted to!"

"Keep telling yourself that, kiddo." She shrugs and continues.

"If you don't let me go, I'll be forced to use that one item I made! The gauntlet that doubles my power every 10 seconds!"

"Yeah, you toootally have that."

"I do!"

"…"

"I could technically make it?"

"Look, that sounds cool and all, but to be fair... you call running away a 'Special Attack', so forgive me if I ignore your threats..."

"…"

"that's fair..." I nod. "But want to know what is also fair?"

"?" She blinks down at me.

"ME KNEEING YOU IN THE FUCKING FA-"

She shifts her grip and now is holding me by both ankles.

"…"

"Ok then." I sigh.

"Chief." She begins speaking to someone behind me. "He is awake."

I roll my eyes.

"I can see that..." A voice answers.

Vernal turns me around.

"Sup." I grin as I tilt my head at Raven.

She blinks at me, then looks up to Vernal. "Why is he taking this so well?"

"Because the true dark sides of life elude me?"

"I personally think he might be partially insane due to a concussion." Vernal states.

"Fuck you lady, my forehead is still sore... and I prefer the term 'psychopath'."

"Mphmmer mhm mrr mhmhm" their voices slowly deteriorate into mumbles and distorted words.

'My name's Elroy, and this elligator travels at about fifteen miles an eewah!... ***Sigh***… I miss memes.'

Vernal thumps my forehead.

"Hm? What? I zoned out there for a second."

"Use your powers to grant us boons, and we will allow you to live here." Raven frowns, most likely slightly miffed at having to repeat herself.

"Uh- you do realize I can just live INSIDE my powers, right?"

"Allow me to rephrase that..." Raven begins. "Use all of your powers to grant us Ammunition, Weapons, Controllable Grimm, and Armor, and I will _let_ you live."

"…"

"Wouldn't I just be able to teleport away when you aren't looking?"

"No." Raven smirks slightly. "Because MY semblance functions by allowing me to open portals directly to people I am bound with, and I used that ability on _you, _no matter where you go, or what you do, I will be able to follow you... and if you try to run... well..."

"Huh..." I hum with a frown. "Okay then."

She turns around and walks away.

I turn to Vernal who is still holding me by my ankles. "So... got anything fun to do around here?"

* * *

**PAHAHAH omfg this little fucking kid just went on all of my active stories and told me to kill myself XD just fucking leave already.**

**Guest Reviews:**

**GuymanV2: "GO KILL YOURSELF"**

**.**

**After you~ (and at least you didn't misspell that!)**

**.**

**Guest 001: "Before I knew what the fic was about I thought it said portals and pizza. Can that be something you do. "Pizza delivered lickity split"."**

**.**

…

**didn't... you already say that?**

**.**

**Themasterguest: "EVERYONE WAIT, you know what teal is missing? A THEME SONG, every badass character in anime has a cool theme song (some are so cool that their abilities themselves have theme songs ex: dragon ball super). yep we need a badass theme song for our badass protagonist."**

**" Wait a minute. Portals to everywhere? Portals to dragon ball dimension. Suck in stray energy beams. Blast the shit out the fools who cross your way. Portals to space? Portals to meteors. METEORITE SHOWER."**

**" When teal gets REALLY bored he can just send Salem a little message: maybe just a note that says, " dear Salem and then it's just a drawing of a butt, or maybe just leave a bag of literal flaming shit on her front door"**

**.**

**Oh, he has one... it just isn't revealed yet because it is sort of relevant to stuff and things~**

**He is far too weak to just flat out 'zippity zorp this portal goes to Jupiter' and he doesn't really have dimensional travel yet.**

**And... he could... I guess... it is possible... **

**.**

**Yoyo: "A wonderful idea if you ever see Goblin Slayer pisode where he use a portal scroll connect to the bottom of the ocean where the water pressure is very high so when he you open the scroll he releases a high pressure water blade to cut through you you tube Goblin Slayer vs. Ogre"**

**.**

**I know... that was one of the first thought I had when thinking 'how does one attack with portals'**

**.**

**6011: " How many portals can he open at once?"**

**.**

**A lot.**

**.**

**Cf96: " If Sean looked into the portal that he sent the fly through do you think he'd see two cores one(blue) regretting an earlier betrayal and the other(orange) screaming about SPACE! 😉"**

**.**

**Well, first off, he- or his eye if he created an eye-sized portal- would be sucked into space because it is a vacuum, and second, yes.**

**.**

**Portal: "You should totally do a scene with teal trolling Raven showing her who's boss with the better portal. Since teal has the better portal Powers compared to Raven 1 that just open a portal to people she's bonded with."**

**.**

**Meh, maybe as an omake.**

**.**

**GoTeam: " So what's the pairing? I hope for Ruby. And are you going to make Neo part of his team in beacon. Also you should try the interaction of Raven and him. Two portal user one obviously better since you're can be used for many things while hers can only be used with those she has a bond with. You can make a troll scene showing who are the superior portal user is."**

**.**

**Probably going to be Ruby as the paring, and Neo will probably be on his team.**

**As for the raven thing... as seen above...**

**.**

**Guymanv2: "you know i would like if this character was ,chaotic neutral."**

**.**

**Boi you know you wouldn't use the term 'chaotic neutral' without me.**

**.**

**NeonNinja219 "Definitely loving the awesome new addition to your shota of doom main characters! How long is the remnant gamer going to be on a break for? Also yay TealxRuby 🙂"**

**.**

**Im doing a sort of rotation thing of Remnant Gamer Portals And Pizzazz Monster Huntersman, so it is really a 2 week hiatus after each chapter... but ill be damned if it doesn't work well! I ACTUALLY HAVE ANOTHER CHAPTER FOR PORTALS AND PIZZAZZ PREPARED AFTER THIS AND IT IS SO FREAKING NICE TO NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT POSTS! Though if something isn't ready yet ill just post whatever is done.**

**.**

**Ill: " Rather than swarming enemies with summoned Grimm, Aberrant becomes bigger and stronger for each Grimm destroyed...**  
**And now we have an OP Shota that breaks the 4th wall...**  
**Thanks for the chapter!"**

**.**

**That was kind of the plan, instead of regular grimm, he just summons powerful mutants.**

**.**

**Guest 002: " Teal should open two vertical portals that mirror each other and just start repeatedly walking through them while saying: what is real? What is real? To creep people out"**

**.**

**Uhhhhhhh-**

**.**

* * *

**Thanks to Grademaster for this WONDERFUL omake~ you're a bro! **

**Go check out him and his gamer fanfic _'A Wizard's Game'_**

* * *

**Omake: Responsible use only (Noncanon)**

"Yoinked!" Teal whispered quietly as he carefully took the sword from the pedestal. It was super ornate and shiny. Clearly an important thingy. He could imagine being dressed in douchey gold armor and waving it around to show off pretty easily.

"So this is the relic of destruction, huh?" Teal looked over the sword again critically. He suddenly turned around and took a step through the portal out of Shade academy's hidden basement. He was pretty sure nobody would be going down there but might as well not be there. It was super dusty too.

He fell right on top of his mattress to glance at the other two relics. The chalice… lamp? The relic of knowledge sat on a little plush pillow in the corner and the relic of creation, a blinged out pimp staff, in the other corner just sort of sitting there.

Sure maybe he shouldn't collect relics of mass destruction but you never know when you might want to whip out a godly artifact. Not like he wanted to mess with Ozpin's stuff anyways. Wherever the relic of choice was it didn't matter. Summoning the gods in the upside down would be pretty awkward. And cramped. Could they even stand up with such a low ceiling?

Better to not summon the super dragon gods.

"So what's this one do anyway?" Teal waved the sword lazily through the air. Nothing happened.

Such power! Amazing!

"Hmm." He glanced at the staff. After hardly a moment of thought he tossed the sword on his mattress and picked up the staff.

"Family size bag of Doritos." He declared. A bag fell on his head and slid off. After catching it he was about to open it when-

"Ugh. Ranch." He tossed the bag away in disgust and raised the staff. "Family-sized nacho cheese Doritos." Was it his imagination or did the bag hit his head harder? Like somebody threw it at him?

Nah.

Munching on his snack he was about to pick up the sword and swing it around a bit but, well, the relic of knowledge was right there.

It had two questions left, right? So… maybe he could use one?

"I'm not that lazy." Teal muttered. Then he looked at the nacho cheese Doritos and his fingers, which were caked in dorito dust, around the staff of creation.

"Meh." Teal was about to lay down when he stopped suddenly. "Lazy…" A large grin crept over his face and he looked at the staff of creation.

In another reality a god yelled angrily at nothing in particular.

"Playstation four!"

"Xbox!"

"Wifi router to earth!"

"Gold!"

"More nacho cheese Doritos!"

"Nacho cheese Doritos family sized you stupid staff!"

"More space!"

"Um… you know what I got nothing. At least I got something to do other than mess with Cardin."

* * *

**See you all in the future!**


	4. Chapter 4: Life tis but a Jojoke

**Don't Own Rwby, Only The Oc**

'thought'

"Speech"

**"Tvs, Radios, and Text via book or newspaper... when those are around..."**

_(Mid Chapter Authors Notes)_

* * *

I blankly stare towards a blond dude with a mullet.

I look over to Vernal who is standing at the side of this flat dirt square.

I look back as he pulls out a revolver with a knife attached to the hilt.

He goes to pull the trigger and the gun jams.

"…"

"Is this some sort of joke?" I ask to Vernal, just flat out ignoring the mulleted prick in front of me. "when I asked for something fun to do, I didn't expect to fight someone who couldn't hold his own against a fucking BEOWOLF!"

She blinks at me.

"Like this prick is SOOO weak." I grumble while rubbing my temples. "I thought you were all supposed to be super strong, but then this fucking idiot pops in all 'I can get fucking destroyed by a fucking signal student who doesn't even have their semblance unlocked' and now I am thinking that this is a fucking joke."

"Like it is just flat out overkill! My semblance could turn him to fucking MUSH in seconds!"

"Then don't use your semblance." Vernal supplies from the sidelines.

"…"

"Huh... okay."

I draw my combat knife and point it towards blond mullet guy who has only JUST unjammed his gun.

"Omae wa mou shindeiru."

I dash at him at an angle, a bullet flying past my head as I sprint diagonally towards him.

I shift my knife into a reverse grip and uppercut him, the jagged blade scratching up against his aura as I quickly swap hands before stabbing forwards.

He swings his handgun down in a pistol-whipping motion, planning to hit me with the knife that seems to be taped to the hilt.

I hold my knife up, placing my offhand on the side of the blade, stopping the knife inches from my nose as I press the side of my blade against the barrel of the gun.

He tries to knee me in the face while I am slightly distracted, but I dodge it as I send his earlier attack to my left.

"By the way..."

I cock my fist back.

"I fight dirty."

***Thump***

And on that day, high pitched screaming was heard throughout the camp, only for it to be silenced by a small fist upper cutting the mullet prick who was currently in absolute agony.

I walk away from his prone form. "Eheh! Easy win!"

Vernal sighs and shakes her head.

I fall through a portal and appear next to her. "So, what now?"

"I was going to go out and hunt a couple of deer or boar for the tribe to eat, with you, we could transport it quickly to ca-"

She is silenced by four boar being held out in front of her, one in each of the large arms of Jeff, the feral pigs squealing and snorting as they thrash around.

"Teleportation." I frown. "I just looked around the forest through tiny portals... and stole four boars..."

"Life is boring to me because I can do anything so easily." I frown. "And I wasn't bluffing about the ways I could kill you."

I yawn. "Ugh I am going to go back to sleep I guess... I'll be back sometime."

Four cracking sounds come from the hands and it suddenly drops all four boars, each deader than dirt.

"See ya~"

I hope into a portal and land in front of a tree, folding my arms behind my head as I lay down.

"Ugh... fuckers."

I close my eyes and allow sleep to slowly take me.

* * *

My side is kicked.

"Ow."

I slowly sit up.

"Well, miss bandit chief, do you need anything?" I ask with a forced smile, my still eyes closed and hands twitching slightly.

"Grimm were spotted around the camp, I want you to kill them."

"FFFFine." I grumble as I hop through the floor, appearing on a small watchtower in the wall.

"Oi, Creepy Bastard, find and kill all the grimm in the area." I point out into the forest.

A lanky figure falls from a portal behind me and tilts its head, it is primarily grey with a couple purple accents like the red markings on a regular grimm, a feathery coat covering most of its body, at the end of each of its long double-jointed arms, are four razor-sharp six-inch claws.

Its head is like that of a nevermore, a long bone beak that extends up into a single horn, but its eyes... the faceplate is covered with them.

It shrieks and takes a step forwards... and leaps into the forest with one flap of the wings adorning its back.

"Go BeAt Up ThE gRiMm TeAl!" I scoff.

I stretch and hop off the tower, where I fall into 'the upside down'

'Naptime again!'

* * *

I fall into the 'real world' with a yawn.

'at least that was uninterrupted sleep this time.'

"Where the hell were you?" Raven snarls.

"…" a ticking sound could be heard in my brain as I quickly comprehend that that statement means.

I grin and fall through the floor, appearing miles away.

'if that fucking BITCH didn't know where I was... that means she COULDN'T open a portal to me... wait... and wouldn't she have to actually spend some time with the person to bind one of her teleportation things to them?'

I grin sadistically and teleport even farther.

'fuck those bandit little shits... I'm going back to Vale! At least they unlocked my aura!'

'ugh... I can't believe I was bluffed like that~'

"Come forth: just a fucking transport vehicle"

A large, grey, horse sized, nevermore lands beside me and lowers its head, allowing me to climb onto it.

"Onwards to Vale." I point forwards.

It flies to the left.

"Ah, so that's where it is..."

I point in the direction we are flying. "Onwards! To Vale!"

* * *

I am currently taking a quick break on a beach, looking out into the open ocean.

'life's good... should probably go over exactly how my grimm transformation ability works though... you know... for NO REASON AT ALL!'

'…'

'Jk bish you know I'm doing it for you.'

I draw in the sand. 'basically, the weakest grimm available- that is actually worth anything- is a creep, and that in and of itself is still pretty bad... a single creep can make a SINGLE pistol bullet... and not one of those giant handguns, I am talking about a Glock or one of those really small revolvers, so out of everything I have killed, the chart goes something like this.'

**Creep x2 - Beowolf**  
**Beowolf x2 - Alpha Creep**  
**Alpha Creep x4 - Boartusk/Alpha Beowolf**  
**Boartusk/Alpha Beowolf x3 - Ursa Minor**  
**Ursa Minor x5 - Ursa Major**  
**Ursa Major x3 - King Taijitu**  
**King Taijitu x5 - Giant Nevermore**

'To put my grimm into perspective, my transport boi is made out of I would say... like twenty-five alpha creeps, seeing how I had to massacre a pack or three of beowolves to get it, and Jeff was made out of I would say maybe seventy regular beowolves, about five alpha beowolves, HUNDREDS of creeps, maybe about twenty alpha creeps, and maybe a SINGLE ursa major, give or take a couple of regular ursa minor... now, for creepy boi? He was made of that giant nevermore... but also a few alpha beowolves, so that makes him EASILY my strongest Grimm.'

'My semblance is a bit of a bitch though, considering most of the Grimm smoke is burned off and probably returned to Salem's goo pits... Jeff, the amazing bastard that he is, is only BARELY stronger than an ursa minor, I would say that he is actually 'worth' two ursa minor, he is strong, sure, but he would get fucking GANKED by an ursa major or king taijitu... thankfully, his strength is boosted even more by my semblance, so if he is actively fighting, I can help him take down an ursa major fairly easily using hit and run tactics.'

'well, uh, thank's for listening to my ted talks uh I'm gonna just go to Vale now...'

* * *

"Ahhh" I let out a long sigh as I lay on a building, arms behind my head. "Vale's cooled off quite a bit~"

I sit up. 'and now to re-meet Ruby and maybe her sister... that sounds pretty fun.'

I casually fall through the floor, appearing outside a bakery.

'ah, she is inside...'

I yawn and just walk away, seeing her gasp and point at me and hop out of a booth, away from Yang and her father, Taiyang.

"Wait... isn't the guy that put Grunt in the hospital?"

I sprint away from the voice and turn down an alleyway.

"Oi! GET HIM! Call the other guys!"

I find three more dudes at the end of the alleyway just sort of chilling, one of them gets a scroll call and picks it up.

"Yo?"

"…"

"The kid that put Grunt in the hospital? Where?"

"Right behind you, you daft cunt." The first dude growls.

"WOAH!" One of the other dudes exclaim, along with myself echoing him. "Language!"

"That was pretty rude." The guy who is holding a scroll hums.

I look back behind me. 'four dudes there... three dudes there... seven vs one? I GOT DIS! EASY PEASY!'

"Weeelll well well, what do we have here." A guy with a spiked metal bat asks from in front of me.

"I see a little shit who doesn't know his place!" One of the dudes behind me shout.

I yawn. "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but chains and whips excite me-" I pause and mutter under my breath as I cup my chin with a hand. "wait a second that's not how it goes..."

I duck as a bat swings through where my head was moments prior, then a large, bulky, grey arm punches him in the chest.

"Grk-" he goes flying OUT of the alleyway.

The arm disappears back into the portal as I stretch and wink at the several thugs in front of me. "Who's next?"

"ATTACK!" One of the ones behind me screams.

I backflip over one and seemingly hop on air itself to gain a bit more distance, then I land behind the third thug that was behind me, the first probably chilling out in a wall about 50 or so feet behind me.

"Special attack: takin' out the trash"

A HUGE portal appears in front of me and a dumpster goes ROLLING down the alleyway at high speeds, hitting all of the dudes and carrying them into a wall at the end alley.

"You!" A girlish voice exclaims behind me.

"Hm?" I glance back to Ruby who is standing about 5 feet behind me.

"Hey... I would like to say... Red?"

Her smile falls slightly.

"Crimson?"

Her smile falls slightly more.

"Ruby?"

"You remember me?!" She gasps.

"Vaguely." I shrug.

I blink at someone who appears behind her.

**ゴ**  
**ゴ**  
**ゴ**  
**ゴ**

They are wearing some sort of black mask, allowing their red eyes to ominously shine through, their height is roughly 5'11 and they are wearing a trench coat with a hoodie underneath.

They tilt their head... and reach into their cloak, pulling free a long and serrated knife.

"Are you fucking kidding me-"

Ruby turns to look back at whatever I am staring at, then, seemingly in slow motion I see the man blur over to her, knife raised.

'NONONO FUCKTHAT'

Ruby falls through the floor and into my arms where I hold her bridal style.

"EEP-"

"NIGERUNDAYO!"

I sprint in the other direction towards the wall.

"FAN FREAKING TASTIC!" I shout. "TEN MINUTES INTO MY FREAKING WALK, I RUN INTO A FRIGGIN SERAL KILLER!"

"W-why don't you teleport us away?"

"I don't know about you, but using my semblance TO YEET A DUMPSTER AT A GROUP OF DUDES HAS LEFT ME A LITTLE ENERGY-DRY!"

A knife flies past my ear and imbeds itself in a small trashcan a couple of feet ahead of us.

I continue my sprint and reach the dumpster at the end of the alley and smirk, ignoring the people slowly crawling out.

**Bgm: ****JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Stardust Crusaders OST - Stardust Crusaders**

I kick off the dumpster and leap up into the air, backflipping over the random serial killer who imbeds another blade deep into the dumpster, the knife somehow cutting right through steel.

His eyes slowly follow us as I finish the flip, then mid-air, four portals appear in front of me, an extra fifth appearing in front of my foot which I kick off to gain more distance.

"You lose." I grin.

Four beefy arms fly out of the portal and start pummeling this guy.

"GAAAH!" He screams as he spasms under the blows, his aura tanking hit after hit.

While he is being distracted, I use this time to run away.

"Cant keep that up for long." I whisper as I rush towards the entrance of the alleyway.

I take a quick glance back to see the man actually starting to parry some of the blows, now only taking a single hit every three punches or so.

The arms are suddenly pulled back in as I turn back to look at him, a small portal to the upside down appearing at about chest-height in front of me.

"Good grief."

A barrel pokes through the creepy eye portal.

***DAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAK-***

And then proceeds to absolutely light up the alleyway with machinegun fire, everyone but the main target diving to the floor to avoid the bullets.

The red eyed prick crosses his arms in front of him as his aura once more takes a beating.

"Tch- DAMNIT!" He shouts.

***DAKAKAKAKAKAKA***

**Bgm: End**

I nod once and run out of the alleyway.

The machinegun fire ceases and I see a crow fly down from the roof and into the alleyway.

'Go kick his fucking ass Branwen.'

I run for a few more seconds down the street and place Ruby back on the ground.

"You are welcome." I yawn as I walk away, giving a single wave as I walk in the direction I was running.

"W-WAIT!" Ruby exclaims as she grabs my wrist. "W-what if that guy comes back?"

I open a portal in front of my eyes to see Qrow uppercut the mask wearing dude, then Taiyang sweeps his legs allowing Qrow to elbow drop him... all to the theme of 'X gon' give it to ya'

"He won't." I announce closing the portal.

"how do you know?"

"His legs are broken... and so are his arms... and his face..."

I free my hand. "I'll see ya."

I walk towards a portal to the upside down that appears in front of me, appearing like reality itself is breaking down and shattering like glass.

"Don't go!"

She hug tackles me into the portal.

"Meep-" I faceplant on the floor of the upside down, Ruby sitting on my back as the portal closes behind us.

"Wh-Where are we?"

"Mph Mmmph MM!"

"O-Oh I am so sorry!" She gets off my back.

I quickly get up and stretch. "Inside my semblance."

"Wh-"

"You know about the schnee glyphs?" I ask.

"Y-Yeah?" She asks fearfully looking around the eye-filled abyss.

"Hereditary portal semblance."

"O-Oh?"

She points fearfully over my shoulder. "I-Is that a G-Grimm?"

"Schnees can summon Grimm with their semblance, why can't I?"

"…"

"Say hello, Jeff." I gesture towards Ruby.

It waves one of its four hands.

"Wh-What kind of grimm is he?" The startled secondary protagonist whispers.

"I think he was like Fifty Percent Beowolf, Forty Percent Creep, Eight Percent Ursa Major, and the rest is just a mix of various Grimm essence." I explain. "if this slightly spooks you, just be glad you didn't see my strongest grimm, a mix between giant nevermore, and Beowolf, with just a bit of Ursa mixed in for strength."

She lets out a small wimper.

"Do you want to leave?"

She nods.

"Okay then, door is behind you." I point towards a gap in the wall behind her as it rips itself open.

She quickly exits the upside down.

I place an arm over my eyes. "It's been good chatting with you~" I hum. "I've been pretty lonely."

She pauses just outside and quickly looks back. "What do you mean by tha-"

The rift snaps shut.

I wipe my forehead as a couple beats of sweat appear. 'yeesh... I wasn't lying... that dumpster a lot of power to launch because, one, I had it quickly falling through the world for a while... and two, I sent it down the alley when it was at its widest.'

I yawn and close my eyes. 'how long have I been in this world? Like six or seven months, right?'

'do I hear... jump cut to the next time I get a power up via god?'

* * *

I look down at the small piece of paper folded in my hands.

"…"

"Damn son."

**Dear Teal, **

**Joining a bandit tribe, I see? And for a grand total of five hours at that! You are being a naughty boy, Teal.**  
**I see you have also Invited Ruby Rose into your powers, that was kind of romantic, right?**

**Anyway, here is your new power: Shortcuts:**  
**You can basically pull a Sans and somehow teleport yourself- and others you choose- to a different location even when you walk in the opposite direction, and all of this is done so subtlety, that that onlookers, and even people you take with you, won't even realize until you actually get to wherever you wanted to go!**

**Also, I did a little bit of work, and now you are the start of the 'Indie Bloodline~' meaning that your portal abilities are passed down through generations (Yes, I saw that little fib you told Ruby)**

**Anyway, Toodles~**

**\- Goddess-chan**

"…"

'You know... I'm not gonna complain about a god pandering to my every need, but DAMN... I feel like I owe her something now...'

"Ah well, personally I am just waiting till I get dimensional travel so I can go mess around with goku or something... maybe use the dragonballs to turn myself into a Saiyan to make me the ULTIMATE gary stu."

* * *

**Hello my dudes, Dudettes and helicopters of assorted gender! How are you all today!**

**Now to the guest reviews:**

**GoTeam: " I thought the fight scene between them would of be better. Or at least Teal would of let Jeff loose so he could get away."**

**.**

**Teal is at that stage in life where he thinks he is literally immortal because of his semblance, so he wasn't trying THAAAT hard to get away... and also, Jeff is made of like so much friggin essence and he also has an attatchment to him, so tossing him out like a pawn is a giant sad mood.**

**.**

**YoYo: "Are you ever going to do a crossover with you other stories. I would love to see Teal Walk in into Sean magical shop. You could even do an omake were Teal pawns the relics off to Sean for store credit."**

**.**

**Probs not.**

**.**

**Portal: " Couldnt he do any of the thing he said he would do to Vernal? Couldn't he drop magma or use the high-pressure water blade on the chains."**

**.**

**I mean, 1: the pressure under the sea is only like less than half of most water jets... plus, the water jets have small bits of sand blasted out so that wouldn't really work, and 2: why waste the effort?**

**.**

**Ill: "I love sassy characters! Especially ones that always tries to have the last word!**  
**Does he have a weakness? Like being too proud, often blabbing his plans to the enemies, yelling his attacks to the enemies, etc...**  
**Thanks for the chapter!"**

**.**

**His main weakness is that he IS a child... even with his op semblance he could never even touch Qrow in a fight... I mean... DO YOU SEE HOW FAST HE CAN MOVE?! He would probably also just trip and fucking die, but I digress.**

**.**

**viuv ndsfkl jhvk: "Creates 4 portals in all cardinal directions around him. Portals to the sun. Raven follows. Raven fuckin dies"**

**.**

**He is still FAAAR to weak to even attempt that... at most he could attempt to Kars Banishment Salem (Probably how Teal will end her) but that's about it... maybe put her on the moon or something...**

**.**

**Cf96: " Great work and good point with the eye I actually forgot about that"**

**.**

**Wh- **

**.**

**StormySpartan: "Loving all your current stories, keep up the great work my man."**

**.**

**Don't worry, I will!**

* * *

**Now onto the omake!**

* * *

**Omake: (Non Canon) **

**The Secret Behind Teal's Future Sight Powers.**

"ALRIGHT!" A white-haired woman shouts as she bursts through the dimensional wall of the upside down. "I HEARD YOU WERE PICKING ON MY LITTLE SISTER!"

Teal doesn't even flinch at the shards of eye-wall that bounce around him, as he stares down at a small booklet, an aura of depression and gloom surrounding him.

"OI!"

"…"

"OI!"

She 'Sir-Pelo-Runs' over and snatches the booklet out of his hands and reads it.

**"Winter snatches the book out of Teals, Hands" **

"Wh-" she quickly looks at the very top.

**"Portals and Pizzazz: Chapter 4 Omake: 'The Secret Behind Teal's Future Sight Powers.'."**

"NANI?!"

She flips the page.

**Portals and Pizzazz: Chapter 5 Rough Draft: 'WeissXTealXHarem Smut Edition.'."**

She reads the first two lines and has blood squirt out her nose.

Teal snatches the small paperback book out of her hands and smacks her over the head with a rolled-up newspaper.

"Bad!" he growls. "No breaking into my inter-dimensional space or reading fanfictions about my life!"

"I- Wha-"

He pulls out a squirt gun and starts spraying her face with it.

"BAD!" He frowns. "Outside!"

Winter lets out a whimper and slumps as she slowly walks back outside through the hole she made.

"Fuggin bish." Teal looks over to Jeff who is curled up looking at the chaos. "People these days am I right?"

Jeff starts rapidly doing hand signs.

**"HelpMeThisFuckingPsychoIsHoldingMeCaptiveAndIDontKnowHowMuchLongerICanSurviveS.O. -"**

"Adorable!" Teal grins as he pats his head.

* * *

**See you all next week with another chapter of this!**


	5. Chapter 5: Witty Memeish Title

**Don't Own Rwby, Only The Oc**

'thought'

"Speech"

**"Tvs, Radios, and Text via book or newspaper... when those are around..."**

_(Mid Chapter Authors Notes)_

* * *

I have decided to buy myself breakfast at a nearby bakery to start the day.

"Come again!"

The line moves forwards

'now, this might be a bakery, but they make GODLY sandwiches as well... like it is REALLY good!'

The line moves forwards again, so now I am at the front.

"Hi, yes, I would like a-"

A man bursts through the door with a gun.

"A pastrami panini with-"

"ALRIGHT EVERYONE ON THE GROUND!"

"Mayo, swiss cheese-"

"OI KID! IM TALKING TO YOU-"

I turn my head and glare at him. "Shut up."

His gun is taken out of his hand by Jeff and he is riddled with punches.

"Both arms..."

***Crunch* *Crunch***

"AAAAH-"

He is kicked through a portal that appears behind him.

"Jalapenos, lettuce, bell peppers and tomatoes."

I awkwardly sniff once and turn to look at a blond-haired man who started to get out of a booth, but then stopped as the robber behind me got ABSOLUTELY DEMOLISHED.

I turn back to the person behind the counter. "Do I need to repeat that? That guy behind me was being pretty rude."

The woman dumbly nods her head.

"A pastrami panini with-"

"YANNNG IT HIIIM!"

"Ugh damnit." My eyebrow twitches slightly as I take a quick glance over to the stall where that man was to see Ruby motherfucking Rose pointing towards me.

I look back to the woman behind the counter like nothing happened.

"Mayo, swiss cheese, jalapenos, lettuce, bell peppers and tomatoes." I finish as I pull out a wallet- the robber's- and get a couple lien cards from it.

I ignore the sound of footsteps quickly skipping towards me.

"Hey! Do you remember me?!" Ruby asks from my side. "I tried looking for you, but I could never find you!"

She frowns slightly at that and looks down at the tiled floor.

She looks up and smiles. "So, do you want to be my friend?"

"where is that- AHA!" I smile as I pull out a coupon.

"H-Hello?" Ruby asks to see if I am even listening.

"Oh, sorry, was looking for a coupon, but to answer your question, it really wouldn't matter even if I said yes, I am constantly moving place to place, I have no scroll, no home, and keeping in contact with you would be difficult without both of those things, I might not even see you again after today considering how large this city is..."

I watch as the woman in front of me has her eyes gloss over and she easily picks out everything I want and puts it on a freshly baked flatbread and easily places it on the sandwich, then she places it in a panini press and closes the lid.

I try to ignore Ruby staring at the side of my head.

"Aren't you still afraid of me?" I boreally ask as I wait for my food to be done.

"What? Why would I be?" She asks.

"The eyes mainly... and Jeff..."

"Pshhh" she scoffs. "It will take a lot more than that to scare a huntress in training."

"Mhm." I hum with half lidded eyes. "Well, I'm just gonna gooooo."

The woman behind the counter hands me my sandwich as I lay a few lien cards on the counter.

"Soooo bye~" I shrug as I fall into the floor.

"Wait no-"

The portal closes behind me.

I sit down at a table and place my wrapped sandwich down and unwrap it.

I look up to the plastic bucket sitting in a chair across from me, a basketball placed on the top with a smiley face drawn on it.

"…"

"I am lonely."

I blink at Jeff. "How can I make friends?"

Jeff writes into the sand.

**"Schnee."**

"What do you mean by that?" I frown.

**"Marry Schnee"**

"NO!" I frown as I nearly leap out of my chair. "That's REALLY messed up, Jeff, I am like twelve... and the only one around my age is FOURTEEN!"

"Though I mean... it would theoretically be possible because of my hereditary powers... good ol J-Man seems to be the type who would marry me to his daughter to lock down the 'grimm summoning' powers." I hum. "Don't feel like being targeted by white fang assassins though..."

"Eh I might do that... maybe... that would give the viewers what that want!" i exclaim as i stand. "A fucking ship... but no smut... that is FILTH."

I sit back down and take a large bite of my sandwich.

'Meh... fuck it... I'll go annoy Weiss again.'

* * *

I drop a folded note through the portal.

"EEP-" Wiess is startled as the folded paper bounces off the top of her head.

**"Hello Friend, I'm back! So, how was your year?" **Asks the note.

She scans the room with her eyes narrowed, she goes for a second scan, but flinches as I am suddenly sitting on air about 5 feet away, the eyes in the chair-portal looking around the room before suddenly all focusing on Weiss.

"Sup." I give her a peace sign.

Her vision goes from me to the red eyes behind me back to me, then she opens her mouth.

"Please don't scream." I sigh. "I'm lonely and just wanted someone to talk to."

She narrows her eyes, closes her mouth and crosses her arms slightly, tapping her foot.

"Oi. Don't look at me like you are better than me." I pout. "We both have hereditary abilities and can summon Grimm we have defeated... but frankly, my semblance is better~"

She frowns.

"Hey, im just being honest, I can teleport, enter a pocket dimension, turn absorbed grimm essence into literally anything I can think of-" I start listing off.

"I get it." She cuts me off. "No need to rub your semblance supremacy in my face."

"Oh, sorry." I comment as I lean back slightly.

"So, what are you up to?"

"Are you seriously expecting me to act like a good friend after just meeting you?" Weiss asks with a haughty tone.

"Yes." I state with a blank stare.

She snorts through her nose and takes a seat in front of ANOTHER letter.

I float over to her and look at her desk.

"So, what are you doing?"

"I am composing a letter to my sister who is currently in Atlas Academy, it is her last year and I want to wish her luck on her final exam."

"Neat." I hum as thoughtfully tap my chin. "Need any help?-"

The door opens, leading to me rolling backwards into the upside down and snapping the entranced closed behind me.

"F-Father?!"

The white haired man scans the room.

"Hrm... where did your blue haired friend run off to?" He hums as he actually looks to his daughter for the first time since he had opened the door. "I had a proposition for him..."

I poke the top of my head out of a portal and look out into the world from the top corner. "What do you want?"

"I wish to speak to you in privacy." He smiles as he straightens his shirt slightly. "Please follow me."

"tch-" I scoff as I hop out of the portal and stuff my hands in my pockets.

Jacques proceeds to leave the room, and I, deciding that I have nothing better to do, follow along behind him.

He seems to be slightly caught off guard as we come to his office after only seconds of walking, but quickly regains composure and opens the door.

"After you." He gestures into the room.

"Mn." I hum as I walk past him.

He closes the door and walks over to a large desk, giving me ample time to glance around the room and gaze at the large bookshelf to the side, and the tacky blue wallpaper adorning the walls.

"Please, have a seat-"

"Teal." I announce as I sit down in a chair in front of his desk

"Hm, named after your hair I presume?"

I stare blankly at him. "Look, stop dancing around the subject, what do you want from me."

He looks down at some sort of computer and smirks.

"you to be homeless judging by your patchy clothing."

"Mnn" I grunt.

"Excuse me?"

"I was trying to get offended but frankly, half way through, I decided it wasn't worth the effort." I yawn. "Is this the part where you offer to adopt me or get your daughter to marry me or even just offer me endless lien and dust for the price of creating just a few items for you?"

He opens his mouth again.

"Pass." I shrug as I fall into the chair. "I need to create my boosted gear by the time I am fifteen or something bad probably will happen~."

I fall through the entire city, reaching terminal velocity, then I enter another portal that leads to an angled portal that launches me into the distance.

'nice... falling with style...'

I fly into another portal, this time the portal I come out of sending me straight up where when I reach the height of my jump, I fall through another portal and land safely on the ground, then I fall through the floor again and into a bullhead flying overhead.

I take a little breather and relax in the cargo bay.

'hmmm... how much more grimm essence do I need before I can pull out a boosted gear?'

'…'

I sigh.

'two thousand, six hundred, and eighty-three giant nevermore... and those are rare as shit... damn... there are probably only like two hundred on ALL of remnant... it requires a normal nevermore to be AT LEAST a hundred years old and they mostly get picked off when they get horse sized so we don't really get that many building sized ones...'

I blink.

'do I reaaally need the boosted gear nooow?'

'fuck it... I have about 17 giant nevermore in the tank... let's see what I can make!'

I hold out my hand, and from a blue portal, a bright red flame appears above it and slowly sinks into my palm.

"…"

"…"

'Uhhhh... yeah, that should work... but damn... there goes like 15 of the nevermore...'

I let out another yawn. 'to Vale I guess...'

* * *

**(Pov: ?)**

A clawed hand rips the head off an Ursa Minor.

It has been about a year since my master has given me this quest, the quest to go out into the world and slaughter grimm.

I look at my thin grey hand, each finger being tipped with a claw about 5 inches long.

At this point, I have completely cleared all the weaker grimm out of the area, be it Creeps, Beowolves, Ursa, or even that one King Taijitu I killed.

I scowl at my hand and clench it.

I am not strong enough...

My master deserves to be the most powerful creature on this worthless planet, and I am too weak to grant that currently...

I decide it would be a good idea to leave the area, after all, I am not doing anything productive by standing around.

I leap off the ground as a blur and swing tree to tree, then I kick off and fly into the distance.

I will give this area a few full moons to let the grimm return...

* * *

I let out a loud yawn as I relax on top of a building in one of those fold-able patio lounge chairs..

"What to do, what to do?"

I watch as Qrow lands on a building behind me through a small portal covering one of my eyes.

I grab a handful of chips and shove them into my mouth.

'sour cream and onion! So good!'

I look over my shoulder to Qrow and scoff, then pull out a book.

He leaps over to my building.

"oi kid, what are you doing up here?" He grunts.

I snap my fingers, teleporting him back over to the building he was just on.

"wh-"

He leaps back onto my building.

"What did you just-"

I snap again sending him back over to the building.

He jumps once more onto my building.

"Did you know the definition of insanity?"

"Ye-

He is back on the other building again.

He jumps back onto this building.

"Insanity is... doing the EXACT FUCKING THING over and over again, expecting shit to change... That. Is. Crazy." I yawn as I warp him back over to the other building with the power of shortcutting.

He lands on my building again. "Alright, kid you are kind of pissing me off."

"But the first time somebody told me that, I don't know, I thought they were bullshitting me... the thing is... he was right."

Qrow is back over on the other building.

"and then I started seeing it everywhere I looked, everywhere I looked, all these fucking pricks, everywhere I looked, doing the EXACT fucking thing Over and over and over and over again, thinking 'this time it's gonna be different'…"

"Tldr: I am talking about you." I yawn.

This time, he tries something different! When he lands on the building, he instantly leaps forwards-

***Clang***

Directly into a stop sign that pops out of the building via a portal.

I get up and fold my chair. "Swell talking to you, dipshit."

I drop it into the upside down followed shortly by my book.

"Wait!"

I look up at Qrow with a bored deadpan. "What?"

"Look, you are defiantly strong, but I feel like you shouldn't waist that talent here, why don't you try and go to any of the combat schools?" He asks.

"Cause everyone in any combat school are just pansy little bitches who can't handle my semblance at fifty percent strength, much less all of it now that I used it to create something that easily puts me in the top five percent strength of all huntsmen ever if I learn to master what I have." I smirk.

"…"

"Also, I get stronger by killing grimm... they don't really let you go out and kill waves upon waves of grimm on a whim, so, fuck them~."

"Alright," Qrow grumbles as he places his hands in his pants pockets. "I have another question... are you the one who has been putting tacks in my chair every morning?"

***Snrk-***

I stop myself from snorting. "whaaat? Nooooooo... totally not. But anyway~ I like your face, let me show you what I made!"

A black bracer appears over my forearm in a swirl of black fire, a dark blue gem appearing about half way up in a bright blue twinkle.

"My semblance allows me to become the most Gary Stu of all characters!" I cackle.

"…"

"You... don't look impressed?" I frown.

"You just have a shiny piece of jewelry now?"

"Wh- no!" I scoff. "This is a Twice Critical!"

"Mhm."

"A subspecies at that!"

Qrow blinks at me. "…"

"Bitch if you are going to look at me with that 'oh... okay.' expression while I have a bracer bound to my soul that I can call at will and LITERALLY DOUBLES MY STRENGTH, SPEED AND POWER IN IT'S **NON**-SUBSPECIES FORM I JUST MIGHT BLOW A COUPLE OF BLOOD VESSELS!"

He at least has the decency to be shocked after I explain it.

"Damn bird guy not getting how I have ultimate power" I grumble as I jump into the upside down.

I sit down in a recliner and take a long sip of sprite that was poured into a champagne glass.

"Ahh... life is good."

I look around the expanded room (Yes, it was expanded further when I got SANESS' ability.)

Now, it is roughly Twenty by Thirty by Ten feet... instead of like five by eight by five like it was earlier.

I look over to a couple of 25 pounders sitting in the corner, barrels facing the wall.

I hop up. "YARR FIRST MATE JEFF WE BE GONNA GO HUNTIN' FOR THE GREAT BIRD GRIMM OF THE SKY!"

I point to the wall. "MAN THE CANNONS!"

Jeff looks at me with a 'what the actual fuck are you talking about?' Gaze.

I leap into a portal and appear at the front door of beacon, then I give a peace sign to one of the cameras watching the entrance while grinning sadistically.

I hop into another portal and fly off the edge of the cliff above the emerald forest.

"Shit."

I panic slightly before landing on the back of a large grey nevermore.

'alright'

'noooow where is the giant nevermore?'

A large shadow passes over us.

"…"

I look up.

"HOLY SHI-"

A portal opens above us as several large feathers fly around us, any of the sharpened feather that would have normally hit us being warped just below us.

"OHOHO YOU WANNA GO?!" I shout up at the nevermore as the feathers stop falling.

I point at it creating two small rips in reality where barrels are instantly shoved through.

"FIRE!"

***THOOM* *THOOM***

Heat passes through the sides of the barrel through large exhaust ports.

'that wasn't as loud as I expected... probably because the actual explosion propelling the bullets are in another dimension entirely... that's useful.'

A large explosion is heard above me as the shells hit its wings, the ice dust inside the projectiles detonating on impact.

A portal opens by my mouth.

"Reload! Earth Rounds!"

Now, while the nevermore is hurtling towards us at insane speeds, would be a good time to tell you about how my artillery dust shells work.

The grey bird I am riding flies into a portal I open, dragging us out of the way of the oncoming doom bird.

Fire, like the substance suggests, creates large explosions that roast and burn, some of the rarer fire dust, 'burn dust' can get hot enough to melt even tungsten! But, sadly, it is a really rare dust that is found in more volcanic regions, and remnant doesn't have many mines near volcanos because, you know, lava.

Second, Ice, kind of like fire, but not at all! It creates a large burst of ice that freezes many things on contact, encasing whatever is struck by it in a massive block of ice, it is a 'second tier' dust meaning it is crafted in labs by combining air and water... how that makes ice, I don't know, but it just works I guess... probably has something to do with lowering the temperature of the air dust, or 'wind dust' as it is also known.

Next, is air/wind, nothing really special happens when targets are hit by wind shells, but what does happen is that the bullets are shot much faster than a regular bullet being propelled by normal fire dust, so they have that going for them!

Finally, out of the 'four base elements', and I am including ice in water's place because water dust is in most fire extinguishers and does literally nothing else but make whatever you shoot at wet- I mean, it could be a good opener for electric dust, but that is an entirely new can of worms... what was I talking about again?

OH! Right! Earth dust! Earth dust's main feature, is that it INCREASES THE DENSITY OF SHELLS... if you think that isn't badass then allow me to correct that! Picture this, you are just having a lovely day and get the sudden urge to toss an empty can at one of your friends heads... it bounces off his forehead and you both laugh it off~ NOW REPLACE THAT CAN WITH A BOWLING BALL THROWN AT THE EXACT SAME SPEED!

Point proven...

The shells that good ol Jeff is currently loading into my canons are a nice mix... of Earth and Wind dust... I like to call them 'fuck you' shells because they take any armor in their way and practically say 'fuck you' as they pierce right on through that and into whatever you are shooting at... instead of large explosions like a normal artillery piece, these act as sniper rounds shot out of a scaled up fifty caliber!

The nevermore crashes into the ground below, causing trees to be flattened under its colossal weight as its frozen wings bend unnaturally.

"Time to die fuckface!" I exclaim as I move the portals to be pointing down at the crippled Grimm as I float down to about 30 feet above it.

"…"

"Are those cannons not reloaded yet?"

"…"

They slide forwards back out of the portal.

"Grand!"

**"BOOST"**

"FIRE!"

The grimm's head fucking EXPLODES as the shells pierce its thick boney mask.

My subspecies of twice critical can boost my physical abilities, but it can also boost momentum... or is it velocity...

AAANNYWAY, that basically means that anything I boost is shot twice as fast and deals twice as much damage! I mean, it also means I can double the power of a punch right before it hits, making it deal times four damage technically... you know... because... my strength would be doubled and... momentum... yeah...

I awkwardly sniff and look around. "Now, where's that fuckin' deathstalker?"

* * *

"Hellooooo?" I call out into the cave.

A glowing diamond greets me.

"Nice."

I leap back onto my nevermore and fly up into the sky, watching as the deathstalker skitters its way out of the cave.

"Holy shit?! Scorpio?! How long has it been?! It's great to see you again!"

"You must die~" I yawn.

**"BOOST"**

The two cannons I had aimed at the cave go off, the bullets crashing through the Grimm's thick armor and piercing into its soft inner body, then completely goes through said body and out of its weak underbelly.

It slumps as smoke starts pouring from the holes.

I scoff. 'ugh... I hate having to rely on my nevermore to fly... I should invest in some wings or something... divine dividing... I'm lookin' at yoou boo!'

'…'

'even though boosted gear is totally superior.'

'…'

"Ugh im booooored" I cry. "Why aren't there any strong grimm around! I want my rocket armor damnit!"

"…"

Nothing happens.

"Fine! I was tempting fate there but fuck it, I'll go back to the city then..."

I step into the upside down while muttering under my breath. "Damn murphy's law... always showing up when you don't want it, but never appearing when you do..."

"Naptime!"

I faceplant on my bed.

* * *

**Okaaay I didn't expect a GUEST to figure out a major plotpoint later on in the story... but I erased the comment because SPOILERS... to the guest named 'RubyxTeal'... I'm just going to flat out say... your iq is in the thousands if not MILLIONS! So good job, have all of the internet points!**

**Guest reviews:**

**Go Team: " Well great chapter. Love the story so far. Especially the RubyxTeal part. Also, hypothetical question if you open two portal facing each other horizontal and put a pole between the two and then close the portals until they have the pole stable. Would teal be able to play limbo?"**

**.**

***yes... that is a thing he can do***

**.**

**Ill: " Funny, interesting, and Where are the Pizzaz!? **  
**Is Teal trying to avoid killing people? Because he mentions many different ways he could kill someone, yet never does it...**

**It is intersting to watch a character with the ability to be everywhere, yet has nowhere to go! He could become rich if he decides to steal, or work for, money to buy a house.**

**Also, Tael is going to present himself to the cast of RWBY, right? I mean, he has to wait for the Plot to begin, and based on his personality, he will most likely screw over with everyone, ANYWHERE, just to kill time.**  
**Thanks for the chapter!"**

**.**

**Teal is giving them the ol razzle dazzle!**

**Who needs money when you can literally live in your own powers with your giant mutant 6-leeged dog that you are sure is a mix between rottweiler and... dragon... but also have the ability to just nonchalantly create things that *SHOULDN'T WORK* **

**Present himself, how? The "o hai mark" as he just appears beside them or the 'paint me like one of your French girls' way? Because the answer is yes to the first, and 'uhhhhhhh' to the second.**

**.**

**Some Bot Maybe: **

**" Teal gonna be super saying sans**  
**Predicted for chapter 999.53 when u finally give him inter-dimensional travel portalz**  
**Also, if he uses grim essence to make grim, and Salem is kinda part grim after her little swim...**  
**Teal's personal army of Salem's?**  
**Predicted for chapter 999.54"**

**.**

**Maybe not an ARMY of Salems, but maybe at least one pale grimm butler dude who is smart enough to talk... but barely.**

**.**

**Cf96: " Quite the trouble magnet isn't he?"**

**.**

**He has protagonist disease.**

**.**

**Middernacht: "Love when jeff is replying in hand signs so fucking funny**  
**Jan't wait for your update on monster gamer**  
**I may have added too many ideas but you can pic and choose not to answer some *scratches head***  
**any way i thought this was about portal only but apparently i friend said it was on rwby as well so I love this fanfic already.**

**I have no ideas because character saitama op**  
**maybe an omake of one of salems seer's put near the sun heh imagine her looking through like a screen when suddenly bright light blinds her heh lol."**

**.**

**Monster Huntersman will be updating next week, so look out for that!**

**And I am fairly sure that I stated the only way Sean will EVER beat Salem is to pull a Kars' banishment on her ass n put her on the moon or something.**

* * *

**Annnyyway I will see you all in the future!**


	6. Chapter 6:STANDO POWAH -Mahatma Gandhi

**Don't Own Rwby, Only The Oc**

'thought'

"Speech"

**"Tvs, Radios, and Text via book or newspaper... when those are around..."**

_(Mid Chapter Authors Notes)_

* * *

'hrm... there is really nothing to do, is there?' I hum as I sit upside-down in a recliner that I have recently acquired (Stolen), just pondering the questions of life.

'I mean, I could always try and go for my balance breaker, but I have a feeling that will just be a load of wasted effort... cause' that mostly works on the wielder's emotions, no real training will help me at all.'

'…'

'though I might be able to upgrade it, if only slightly... but a times two multiplier, technically times four, easily puts me in maybe the top ten percent of all people on Remnant if I can up my physical abilities a bit.'

I roll off the chair and onto my feet.

'now waiiit a minute... isn't there a large herd of goliaths just sort of chilling around mountain glenn? Maybe I could kill one of the smaller ones!'

"HRRRMMMM"

"probably not." I shrug. "Those fuckers probably have armor AT LEAST three feet thick... and at least creepyboi is killing loads of grimm~ he must have moved into a new area!"

"…"

"Should I piss off the grimm dragon?"

"…"

"Won't be able to kill it... and it will most likely just VAPORIZE Vale~"

"Hmmm..."

I blink as a thought crosses my mind. "Isn't there like this really op Atlesian base in the northern part of Mistral? Like they have a giant mech they use to pacific rim the shit out of kaiju grimm?"

'Why don't I just go hang out over there... and just leech off the grimm essence left behind from the giant mech fights? I mean, in the series there were like THOUSANDS of manticore swarming that city as well... but that might have just been because of the relic of knowledge being there...'

'still, thousands of grimm that can raid a city on short notice!'

"THAT'S IT! IM GOIN' TO MISTRAL!"

* * *

'day twenty-two... I haven't seen even a SINGLE grimm since I have been here... I am so fucking mad.'

* * *

'Captain's Logue: Day Fifty-Eight: at this point I am actually debating if I should leave or not... I got to see a small skirmish about ten days ago... and the strongest grimm there was a sort of snowy variant of the deathstalker... so practically garbage... though they did kill quite a few manticores... and those are on 'Ursa-Major level' for essence, so that was pretty cool! I counted at least twenty before they all got nuked by a missile barrage... and that practically gave me like FOUR giant nevermore worth of essence... overall a pretty good day! End Logue...'

* * *

'Captain's Logue: Day 'Dear god why am I even still here anymore?!': this town was a freaking FLOP, I stg it only gets attacked by grimm once every three months or so and even then, it's what, like five giant nevermore worth of essence? THAT'S ONLY A THIRD OF MY TWICE CRITICAL! By this point, I have been here for about nine months, racking up enough essence to make a second twice critical, sadly, they wouldn't stack so I haven't bothered... like I have been spending ALL OF MY TIME working out while waiting for grimm-raids (Thankfully I have gotten a nice little four pack and some slight muscles) with an hour or five of playing game systems that I have 'LEGALLY' acquired ***Snrk* **but DAAAMN I might as well go back and freaking pester Ruby or some shit cause I legit don't know how much longer I can live in this hellish eye-scape... everything is staring at me and I think I am getting a hyperbolic time chamber complex... a week... I will give this fuck-mothering town... one more week.'

* * *

I grumble to myself as I walk through the alleyways of Vale. "damn town gets attacked by giant grimm the second I leave? What utter bullshit."

'and it doesn't help that ever since I got back in the city, a certain bird has been stalking me...'

I yawn and look behind me suddenly with a serious expression, revealing that 'no-one' is there as a bird watches me from up on a building.

"Hmm." I shrug and continue walking.

I lean my head forwards slightly and look down at the ground as a knife flies through where my temple was seconds before.

'…'

"Huh... thought my shoes untied." I hum, acting like I didn't even notice the knife wielding probably the same serial killer as before- knowing my luck and clichés- 'like didn't this dude get arrested?'

I 'stumble' forwards after 'tripping' on a crack, avoiding another slash. "Oops..."

"Hrm... what should I get for lunch?"

My eyebrow twitches as he goes for a stab towards my back.

"That's it." I snarl, catching the guy's wrist in a portal as he stabs forwards. "I TRIEEED to let you just walk away, but NOW you really pissed me off!"

His second hand is held by another portal.

**"BOOST"**

I punch him in the stomach till his aura shatters, which only takes like fifteen good hits, then I draw my fist back and punch him square in the nose as the punch doubles in speed.

***Crack-***

"AGH-"

I release his hands as he goes flying back, then I turn and punch into a portal, my fist appearing behind him and punching him in the back, then both of his knees are broken courtesy of Jeff.

"Frankly, you are lucky that I even let you live... I could have shot you and been done with it, we both know that... the world might have been even better off without you in it~" I turn around and walk away. "Fuck off you fucking casual, I haven't got time for pussy little bitches like you."

I let out a long sigh. "ooh... lost my cool there..."

* * *

I stare blankly at a bird sitting on powerlines across the road as I take a bite of my subway.

It stares back.

"…"

I take another bite of my sandwich without breaking eye contact.

I blink slowly and the bird takes flight, fluttering in the opposite direction.

'hm... okay then...'

'ugh I wish some sort of plot advancement found me, I have like, what? Two years till canon?'

I sigh, wrapping up the second half of my sandwich before standing up and falling into a portal.

* * *

I let out a long sigh from on top of this broken-down building as I look out into the destroyed city.

'Mountain Glenn is pretty good this time of year... I have already gained a giant nevermore's worth of essence due to a second creepy boi I made... so, in all honesty I have only broken even.'

I look back down at the book in my hands as I adjust my umbrella slightly, so it is entirely covering my chair.

A bit of rubble behind me crunches causing me to tense up.

I slowly turn to look behind me.

"…"

'I regret my decision for plot advancement...'

crouched about 30 feet away on the edge of the rooftop is a thin humanoid with a knee-length brown coat that leaves some of his scarred chest exposed.

He has brown hair that is tied back into a long ponytail, seemingly styled after a scorpion tail, his yellow eyes glinting with less sanity than a... thing with zero sanity... a werewolf on the moon? A vampire who tests mirrors? A squeamish person working at a blood bank?

"Ooooh I thought I heard someone up here!" He cackles

I hide my absentminded terror by sipping on my milkshake loudly.

He stands up and hunches forwards slightly while tilting his head. "You look... familiar..."

He DISAPPEARS.

"…"

I turn my head back to the way it was to see him straight up 'slav squatting' on my table, his face about five inches from my own.

"Ooooh I know why you are familiar~"

I glare at him and he suddenly leaps backwards.

"Hrm?" He hums as he looks around.

He stares at me as I open a portal below me.

"Grk-"

Only for him to appear in front of me and grab me by the throat and lifts me up by one hand.

"Nonono" he cackles. "No running away!"

He pauses and takes the time to look around quickly.

I wince and grab at his arm, summoning a portal at chest height-

He squeezes my neck tighter. "No, no... none of that... put it away or ill snap your neck like a twig!"

I am forced to close the portal.

"Hmmm you are weaker than I remember..." He narrows his eyes.

"OH!" He exclaims, eyes widening like he just had the greatest idea in the world. "I will bring you to my grace! She will surely know what to do with you!"

He reaches out his other hand towards my face. "Night night kiddo-ACK-"

He releases me as a bullet strikes his temple, allowing me to actually fight back.

**"BOOST"**

I punch him in the stomach and double the punches' speed, sending him skidding back across the roof as he covers his temple with his hand, only to get shot in the face by another bullet, briefly stunning him as I open two portals and ABSOLUTELY DEMOLISH the side of the roof he is on with two artillery shells.

'what was attacking hi- NOPE ILL THINK ABOUT IT LATER!'

I leap backwards off the roof of the building and plummet towards the ground where I open a portal and use it to launch myself through the air.

'FUCK. THAT.'

'NEVER AGAIN!'

I continue my leaps until I reach Vale, then I land in the upside down.

I wipe my brow of a bit of sweat and collapse in my recliner.

"So," I pant "What were with those gunshots?"

A folded piece of paper slaps my forehead.

"Hm?"

**Dear Teal Indie**

**Hi! It's been a while, huh? Well, anyway, it's me, Goddess-chan! And I have sent you this message to say 'CONGRATULATIONS!' You have unlocked your semblance! **

'Wh-'

**Look down and to your left, then you will see what your semblance is, and I know you will be pleased because I remember that you complained about this a long time ago!**

I do as the note says, and look down to the floor.

It is a small thing, roughly a foot thick, a foot tall, and about two feet long, looking slightly like a tank chassis, it is colored a dull brown and has a couple black stripes going down the center, on the top is a large barrel attached to a tank turret at the back of the chassis, with the barrel easily being over four feet long, however, one half is folded up completely so it touches the top of the other barrel, cutting the length in half, while a normal tank would have treads, this one has four legs sprouting from its sides, each seemingly based off insectoid legs going by the fact that they go down, then bend up to some sort of knee joint, where they then bend down once more and end with a sharp tip, presumably to be used to dig into the ground so the recoil of having a gun more than twice its size wouldn't send it flying.

"Wh-"

I look back at the note, new text appearing after I finish what it requested of me.

**Say hello to your very own STAND! Yep! That's Right! I heard you grumbling about not having 'STANDO POWAH' so I messed around a bit and made you have the VERY FIRST sentient semblance! (the ability to have stands is also passed through your bloodline... just thought you should know that) **

**Annnyway, SAY HELLO TO YOUR STAND, 'IRON MAIDEN'!**

**(For future reference, yes, anyone with aura can see your Iron Maiden, meaning that if their weapons have aura channeled into them, they can cut it and by extension, your aura/you.)**

**Stand Name: Iron Maiden**

**Stand Master: Teal Indie **

**Statistics: **

**Power: C**  
**Speed: E**  
**Range: B**  
**Durability: C**  
**Precision: C**  
**Potential: A**

**A Mechanical stand that can set up a long distance away from its user, its primary attack is the large gun that is inserted in its body, though its actual special ability is that it can 'plug into' any mechanical object (with some sort of U.S.B. or electrical port of course) and take control. (Please note that depending on the size, type, and security of said object, it might take more time than normal.)**

'ooookay...'

**Keep things interesting mkay?**

**\- Goddess-Chan**

'Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. **YES!**'

'time to go rub my semblance superiority in Weiss' face agaiiin~'

* * *

**"I'm back, my friend!" **I announce my presence with a note like always.

"Hm." Weiss nonchalantly hums as she looks down at the note. "Where are you going to appear this time?"

"Right here." I yawn behind her.

She surprisingly doesn't flinch...

"What do you want?" She asks.

'you know... I should give myself a backstory... something sort of... bizarre...'

"Well, I kind of needed someone to talk to" I shrug. "Annd I feel like you would at least listen to my issues."

"Mhm..." She hums. "And what makes you think I don't have something better to do?"

"I mean, you can ignore me if you want" I shrug. "I'm just going to be monologuing."

She turns back to her desk and begins filling out some sort of paper with a pencil.

"I-is writing letters all you ever do?!"

"Homework." She answers.

"Hmm... okay then, on with my story."

"It all started about nine months ago when I decided that I don't have a quickly renewable source of energy, then I searched up the town that had the highest colossal grimm attacks out of most other towns, it turned out to be a little town at the northern tip of Mistral, Argus, the home of Sanctum academy and that one Atleasian base that has a giant robot." I start off. "I stayed inside my semblance for NINE months... and that was a horrible experience, and I got literally nothing for it, sure there were a couple grimm raids here and there, but nothing on the colossal grimm scale, and, like, the city COULD handle that easily, it just never happened while I was there..."

"The week, the FREAKING week I left, a giant grimm showed up and got demolished... that thing probably had SO MUCH essence, I could have probably made something cool with that." I sigh and shake my head. "Anyway, I get back to Vale, and what do you know? A serial killer that I got thrown in jail shows up and tries to gut me, I break his legs, then I decide, 'Hey, mountain Glenn probably has a surplus of grimm, ripe for the corrupting, so I go there and sort of just stay on top of a skyscraper for a while."

"Get this, some dude, some RANDOM freaking dude who was totally BONKERS just appears at the edge of the building all "oooh I thought I heard someone up here." And just moves faster than I could blink and appears behind me crouched on MY DINNER AND TABLE, and acts like he knows me! The entire time spouting something about 'his queen' or his 'liege' and his 'goddess' and proceeds to pick me up by the throat as I try to warp away, SUDDENLY his temple is hit with a sniper bullet, and then he drops me, I punch him in the stomach, sending him across the roof and allowing me to shove the barrels of two artillery cannons in his face then i explode the side of the roof he was on, allowing me to escape off the roof and do my classic flying technique of falling in a horizontal direction."

"Then when I got back in my semblance, I realize it upgraded." I sigh.

Weiss is now facing me with a look of confusion.

"What?" I ask.

"You have serious issues." She sighs. "You act like that is a normal day for you."

"I mean, sure." It kind of is. "When your mother is someone who throw's trains at people with portals on a regular basis and fights with a stop sign, plus, your father, one: claims to be a vampire who stole the body of his adopted brother, and two: has some sort of punchy ghost that can stop time, I guess I just have some sort of _bizarre_ destiny~"

***Goddess-Chan Will Remember That***

'oh no...'

Weiss looks even more confuddled. "Y-You are just messing with me right."

"NNNNope!" I grin. "I figured out that the spooky ghost thing was a hereditary thing as well so I have one as well!"

"Its ability isn't as cool as time stopping though." I pout.

"Wait... wouldn't the same spirit be passed down-" she takes a deep breath and closes her eyes. "You almost got me there... I almost thought... for a second that you actually had a ghost."

"The actual term is 'stand', I just call them spooky ghosts to simplify it for those who don't know about them~." I hum as I snap my fingers, summoning Iron maiden in all of its most likely Act 1 glory.

Weiss' mouth is left agape at the small striding robot.

"The best part is! It can control anything with an electrical socket or a usb port!" I laugh.

'you know... I am hoarding a lot of cool magic stuff to myself.'

I yawn 'you know what... I have enough energy for _that_, right?'

"You know what?" I ask.

"H-Hm?" Weiss asks as she snaps out of her daze.

"I was being pretty rude." I shrug. "Not sharing something cool with one of my first/only friends!"

"w-What?"

'fuck canon!'

"Pick an ability based on the names, I won't tell you what they do until AFTER you pick."

"Your... going to grant me an... ability?"

"Yep! Now pick! Blade Blacksmith, Twilight Healing, or a Twice Critical!"

"U-Uh blade blacksmith?"

"Oh wow... you picked the best option I can give you right off the bat... huh..." I hum.

"The real question is, do you want Blade Blacksmith, or Sword Birth, both do practically the same thing, they each create swords based on your imagination! however Blade Blacksmith creates Holy Swords, and Sword Birth creates Demonic swords."

"What's the difference?"

"Demonic swords cant have light abilities... I think... light being a pure counter towards grimm."

"B-Blade Blacksmith then." She whispers. "I-Im planning on being a huntress... and I might need it if I am put in a bad position."

"Alright then." I shrug as a ball of white fire appears in front of my hand and launches at Weiss.

"EEP!" She flinches as the ball of white fire soars at her, quickly crossing her arms over her face and chest in order to protect herself from this 'dangerous fire'.

It flows around her arms and sinks into her chest.

"Done, you know have the sacred gear known as 'blade blacksmith'." I yawn. "Ugh... why couldn't you have picked a twice critical or a twilight healing?"

"YOU COULD HAVE TOLD ME IT WOULD LOOK LIKE FIRE!"

"Pfft- nah."

"Don't worry, I have taken the liberty of making it have a subspecies balance breaker, so instead of a bunch of knights you summon a dragon made of swords~"

"Wh-"

"Don't worry about it." I cut off. "I will train you in your sacred gear!"

"Sacred... gear?"

"Yeah, that's what I call the ability I just bound to you!" I shrug. "Here ill show off mine."

**"Boost!"**

"This is a Twice Critical, normally, it would only increase my speed and strength by two, but this is a subspecies, making it stronger than a normal one! This one can also double momentum!... or was it velocity?"

"…" I tap my chin in thought.

"Annyway, basically it makes any gun I shoot fire at twice the speed of a normal weapon, and yes, it affects good ol Iron Maiden here." I continue as I pat the top of my stand. "The only flaw is that it dissipates the 'boost' after I enhance the speed of something."

"…"

She seems to be in another state of shock as she stares at the floor.

I snap in front of her eyes. "Snap out of it, Weiss."

"A-Alright... you..."

I open my mouth to respond, but then close it seconds later.

"…"

"I have never told you my name, have I?"

"Nope."

"Huh..."

"Well, my name is Teal, nice to officially meet you!"

* * *

**Welp, I'm posting this a day early because 1: I don't want to have to deal with it tomorrow, and 2: I am bored... see you all later!**

**Guest reviews:**

**Some Random Guy: "That game grumps reference threw me off. God I love this fic"**

**.**

**Thanks!**

**.**

**RubyXTeal: " Called it and thanks. However which part I gave two."**

**.**

**The not kid one.**

**.**

**Goteam: " Sooooo, are you ever going to make Teal troll Salem or he isnt ready for that yet? Also follow up question can Teal met oscar earlier and make him his sidekick?"**

**.**

**Pfft- as you can see in this chapter, even if he has the potential to be the STRONKEST boi in the universe, he still isn't quite there... and Oscar is still just a filthy farm-boy casual! Who would want that? And im going to call out ozpin here for a second, that little shit doesn't reincarnate into 'likeminded individuals' he just steals a body that has a name with 'Os' or 'Oz' in it.**

**.**

**Ultimate Shaggy: " Honestly, in my opinion the divideing gear is the supirior sacred gear in terms of combat. While boosted gear can level the playing field by increasing the power of the user it will eventually hit a cap. The divideing gear on the other hand adds a half of the power divided to the user and even when the user reaches the cap that they can increase their power can still weaken the opponent."**

**.**

**I mean, the boosted gear can boost even without touching the opponent, and if you are strong, it really allows you to get even stronger, like if you are fighting someone in equal power to you, you might as well double your power instead of stealing half of theirs, because by the time you get to your 'second' boost/divide, boosted gear has a multiplier of x4, while divine dividing has a x1.75, admittedly, the opponent will be at a quarter strength, but a boosted gear would work A LOT better for Teal.**

**.**

**D.O.F.: " yo dawg this shit has more crack than a drug cartel**  
**also don't take this as a request, but a suggestion: fuck around with Cardin more because the birb-bulli needs another asshole (as in the body part) and maybe a different view on Faunus**

**...That is, if you plan to write about their existence at all. I mean, c'mon man. They're a part of RWBY as well. I know you're trying to show all of the different parts of the show in your crackfic, but at least take some time to acknowledge their existence. RWBY without Faunus is just... RWY..? Maybe? Idk."**

**.**

**Pfft FAUNUS DON'T EXIST! You utter fool! This was my entire plan all along! Now Teal can be apart of Team Rwby... or would it be 'Team Rwty' Now... no fucking clue what that acronym means tho... rooty? Idfk.**

**And I already have up to canon 'episode 1' written, and that is chapter 10, so look out for that!**

**.**

**Cf96: "Wonder what else he can make if he can recreate sacred gears"**

**.**

**Stuff... probably the dragon balls, but just stuff in general...**

**.**

* * *

**See ya!**


	7. Chapter 7: Forceful Friendship

**Don't Own Rwby, Only The Oc**

'thought'

"Speech"

**"Tvs, Radios, and Text via book or newspaper... when those are around..."**

_(Mid Chapter Authors Notes)_

* * *

I float on a disk made of darkness and eyes with my legs crossed. "Alright, Blade Blacksmith relies on imagination, so if you are unimaginative, I am going to seriously regret giving you that ability."

"So... blunt." She mutters under her breath.

"First things first on the 'Teal's guide to unlimited power': Figuring out how to even activate your ability~"

"…"

"Do you wish to know what powers sacred gears?"

"What?"

"Desire." I grin. "Sacred Gears are driven with the power of desire. And it also determines the power for it as well."

"The stronger you desire, the stronger your Sacred Gear will respond to you." I continue. "Now, for bringing out your ability... close your eyes and imagine the strongest being you can think of, be it from games, books, tv, or even from real life, now, do you have that image?"

"Yes." She nods.

"Focus on it."

"…"

"…"

"…"

'fuck! is something supposed to happen?! I just quoted that right from the freaking wiki... it worked for me... but I have a physical object as a sacred gear, maybe she requires something else to unlock her ability... what do I do-'

A bright white light suddenly shines from her chest.

I slump back and rest my head against another portal that is pressed against my bed. 'oh thank god.'

She opens her eyes and looks down at her chest. "Is this feeling my... sacred gear?"

"Dunno, probably." I shrug. "But you should ALWAYS remember that feeling, as it seems to be how you draw your ability out."

"Now, let's do something a little more... difficult." I grin.

"D-difficult? How?" She whispers.

"One: please drop the stutter, and Two: we are going to try and make your 'first' sword!" I exclaim.

"Now, for safety reasons, I am going to decide what you make, considering we are in a closed off room and any swords that create blades of wind or explode would be a bad idea, so I'm just going to say, make a sword that glows... that doesn't seem OVERLY dangerous... well, besides the fact you will be holding a razor-sharp killing machine, but hey, we both have aura, and if you are going to be a huntsman, you have to hold weapons anyway!"

"a-" she takes a deep breath and nods with determination. "Alright."

She takes a deep breath and holds her hand out in front of her and waits.

"…"

And waits.

"…"

And waits a little more.

"Try imagining how it is going to work exactly-"

An elegant silver rapier appears in her hand, the hand guard made of quite a few strands of metal that arc around like a spiderweb, the blade has a small bit of metal running down the center for about five inches, then it stops with a point, the blade seems to have a slight glow to it and creates a dull trail of light as she slightly moves it, much like a glowstick.

"Iron Maiden, turn off the lights."

The lights in the room turn off as I summon a portal to block all light coming from the window.

Weiss' grinning face is illuminated by her sword as it casts a dim light around the room.

"Try making it brighter."

She pauses for a few more seconds and the room seemingly starts growing brighter and brighter.

We eventually have to shield our eyes from the light as it is getting a bit much.

"Alright I think that's enough." I grunt.

The light instantly dims to an acceptable level as the portals behind me disappear, allowing natural daylight to enter the room.

"Turn on the lights."

The lights flicker back on.

I look over to the machine that has some sort of cable tail plugged into the wall.

"Unplug."

It frees itself from the wall and disappears back into my body as my hand touches it.

"T-Teal, was it?" Weiss asks.

I just nod.

"How do I make it go away?"

"Sacred gears are based on desire, you just have to desire for it to go away or something like that."

The sword turns into white motes of light and disappears.

I tap my chin in thought once more.

Weiss stands up and bows to me. "I must thank you, Teal, for this incredible ability... if you need anything, just ask."

"mmn..." I hum. "Nah, im good..."

I yawn and stretch. "Well, I'm off to that one town with the giant robot... maybe I can get lucky and gain some essence from a fight between a leviathan and said giant robot."

I look down at the ground. "Do... I really want to subject myself to this kind of torture?"

"AWE YEAH!" I exclaim as I stand up.

"I'll see you, Weiss, but probably not for at least a year!" I exclaim. "So, hone your power and we will meet... in beacon!"

"H-How did you know I was planning on going to beacon?!" She squeaks.

"I know many things Weiss, how long it takes for a person to freeze to death in icy water, about three, the moon is in fact NOT cheese, it is made of some sort of sandy substance, space is a vacuum that I like to shoot gnats and flies into when they annoy me, regular dust used to power bullheads CANNOT melt steel beams, and how to load an artillery cannon..." I list off. "And all that combined basically states 'I can see the future'."

"W-WHAT?!"

"That homework sheet has most of the questions that are on tests for entering a huntsman academy and I got lucky on a one-in-four guess."

"W-"

"See ya!" I allow myself to fall into a portal.

***Linebrea-**

I poke my head out of the portal and stop it from closing.

"Keep this ability a secret from dear old dad, okay? He most likely would try to keep you here to make swords for his empire~ though feel free to tell your sister, **And only your sister,** considering she will be the one who is most likely to train you, and as long as she realizes that this is to be kept between you two."

"Iron maiden, you can turn the cameras back on."

A camera in the corner of the room reactivates as I pull my head back inside my portal.

* * *

Teal bashing his head against a wall for several hours interlude:

***THUMP***

***THUMP***

***THUMP***

***THUMP***

***THUMP***

***THUMP***

"WRYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!"

* * *

'why did I subject myself to this torture again?!'

'eh... I'm over it'

'oh wait! I should be doing the- REDO!'

'Captain's logue: day three hundred and twent- ugh... the mood is ruined... never mind...'

"Does there happen to be a random giant grimm that wants to assault the town?" I ask into the depressing void.

"…"

"No?"

"Fuck it... I'll go get a taco."

I hop out of the upside down.

I notice that the town is... very red...

**"BWEEEP" "BWEEEP" "BWEEEP"**

'…'

I look outside the walls to see a giant robot having a fist fight with a giant mammoth variant of a goliath, quite a few manticores and a couple of sphinx flying around them both like gnats.

"…"

"YEET!"

'my year of waiting is about to be payed off!'

I watch the battle through a small portal with a colossal grin.

The robot uppercuts the giant elephant as it takes a step forwards, crushing a sphinx underfoot, then it lightly waves its cannon through the air, freezing the wings of many manticore and sphinx, causing them to crash into the ground.

Several more flying grimm are shot out of the sky as a couple bullheads fly overhead, launching grimm-seeking missiles that utterly massacre the flying ranks.

After about ten minutes, all the grimm are dead and the robot walks away, ignoring me as I absorb all the grimm essence.

"…"

"Mental note: a goliath is worth forty-five Giant Nevermore, and it is the exact amount needed to make sword birth or blade blacksmith... and I have about two-point-five goliath..."

I place the white ball of fire, blade blacksmith, in my chest with a deadpan.

'M.I.N.E'

I yawn and just shrug as I think about what I should do next.

'meh... ill save the remaining essence for something fun... like maybe giving Ruby Blade Blacksmith or something... that will DEFINANTLY not be a mistake that will destroy the world as said reddish-black-haired girl swings around swords, larger than buildings, that launch colossal kill beams and explode everything they come into contact with.'

"Hrm... how close is canon again?" I whisper. "Goddess-Chan made it so I would be fifteen by the time it starts, so... a year? I am nearing fourteen..."

I sip on a juice-box nonchalantly. "That isn't much time to grind... I need to figure out how to get 'Iron Maiden Act 2' and figure out how to use blade blacksmith... hell, I might as well try to get a balance breaker..."

'maybe about a year and three-fourths is enough for Ruby to get off her fangirl stage.'

'…'

**"Or maybe you could stop being such a little pussy bitch and hang out with her instead of running away." **Jeff's eyes seem to say as he blankly stares at me.

'meh.'

* * *

"Hmm... how did Weiss get this to work so well?" I mutter under my breath as a couple small motes of white light pass between my hands. 'image it?'

'I want to create a nice short sword, and I want the blade to be able to glow, the glow being able to grow brighter or lighter.'

'why the fuck am I rhyming? THIS ISN'T THE RIGHT TIME... ing.'

I open my eyes to see a short sword with a blue glowing blade.

'alright!'

I force it to disappear as I lean back against a tree.

I slowly blink.

'am... I being watched?'

I scan the rest of the mostly empty park from my position near a pond.

"eep-" someone in the distance exclaims as two heads poke back behind a tree.

I blink slowly then shrug, guessing that it is probably Ruby and Yang.

'a glow-stick-sword is kind of lame... so let's expand my arsenal just a little bit.'

I blink as a girl with a red cloak and a girl with a head full of blond hair looks around the tree again.

'…'

I fall into a portal.

* * *

"Wha- where did he go?!" Ruby whispers loudly.

"Look, Rubes, I get you have a crush on this guy, but REALLY, you haven't seen him in over two years, and even then, I think you have only exchanged like twenty sentences with the dude..." Yang whispers back. "Should we really be stalking him?"

"Wh- NO. I don't have a crush on him!" She instantly denies. "I just think he is really cool and I want to be his friend!"

"…"

"…"

"But you aren't denying the stalking bit-"

"It's not stalking! It is following! and we are just making sure he doesn't get into any trouble!" Ruby pouts. "And besides, he seemed pretty lonely that one time I met him and not much seems to have changed."

"…"

"I also kind of want to figure out how he is able to summon a sword when his semblance is portals..."

"of course, you do..." Yang sighs as she rubs the side of her head. "But how are you going to 'follow' him if he is currently gone... inside a portal..."

"Shshshsh!" Ruby quiets her as she pokes her head back around the tree, Yang following shortly after. "He is definitely going to come back! So keep a lookout!"

A third head pokes out around the tree above Yang's.

"Who are we spying on?" the third person asks.

"EEP-" Ruby jumps out from behind the tree along with Yang.

"Y-YOU?!"

"Yo." I shrug as I fall back into a portal and appear back under the tree I was leaning on earlier.

I start ignoring them again.

'hmm... what would be a good sword design...'

'how about a sword that has a gap down the center and can store water which can be used as a sharp water whip...'

A silver sword appears in my hand, all nicely polished n jazz, the handguard being basically just a 't' with the inner part of the arms being short and expanding outwards to be larger.

I poke the sword through a portal and watch as it sinks into the pond in front of me.

Water travels up the blade and eventually condenses in the gap between the two halves of the blade, making a 'complete' sword.

I shrug and let this sword disappear as well.

Ruby sits on her knees to my left while Yang just stands slightly back with her arms crossed.

"…"

"Need something?"

"…"

I glance over to Ruby to see her staring at the ground with a fairly cute blush on her face.

"…"

"U-Uhm..."

"…"

She abruptly stands and runs over to Yang, grabs her arm and pulls her back behind the tree she was originally spying on me from.

"…"

"Y-YANG?!" She whispers; however, I manage to catch it with a portal I am using to eavesdrop on them. "What do I say?!"

I summon another sword in my hand.

'constantly absorbs wind that can be released whenever I want as wind blades.'

A leaf slowly falls through the air about 3 feet away so I swing the sword through the air, creating a thin and small blade of wind that cleaves part of the leaf in half and dissipates about a foot afterwards

"Just act normal, Rubes, tell him that you want to hang out, and maybe he wont run this time..." Yang speaks after a few seconds. "Do I really need to be your wing-woman?"

"Mnnnn" Ruby pouts.

"Because we both know that if I have to ill walk up to him all 'hey, my sister likes you, if you don't go on a date with her ill break your kneecaps', you don't want that, right?"

"YAAAANNNG!"

I create a new weapon, which is basically just a regular combat knife.

'a really small sword that explodes whenever I want.'

'…'

'killer queen already touched that knife...'

I smile lightly and make it disappear as well.

"o-Okay." Ruby nods. "But what do I say?! HOW DO I INITIATE BASIC HUMAN COVERSATION?!"

"Complement his sword- NO WAIT!" Yang suddenly shrieks as she stops Ruby from going back around the tree.

"You should start your conversation by asking how he is MAKING the swords, you said his semblance was portals, and I see no portals around when he makes those weapons."

I create another sword.

'thin longsword that can have the blade extend up to twenty feet'

I hold the sword in one hand and make the blade grow, then shrink, then grow again, then I just make it disappear.

'what else can I do with my ability?'

Ruby kneels beside me again.

"H-Hi, I'm R-Ruby what's your name?" She stutters.

"Teal." I answer

"U-Uh, I just wanted to thank you for all those times you saved me!" She exclaims. "D-do you remember me?"

"You are one of the two people I actually bothered remembering the names of..." I shrug. "So, I mean, sure, and no problem for the saving thing."

I blink. "Technically, it is three... because one of them is just so amusing that I couldn't forget even if I wanted to!"

She watches me form another sword in my hand, then make it disappear like the rest.

'can shoot the blade like a bullet, but I only have one shot.'

"I mean, what sort of parent names their child 'Shay D. Mann'… that's like ASKING for them to become a bandit."

I quickly form another and make it disappear as well.

'floats around me and attacks a target I designate, meaning that it can be used as defense AND offense.'

"How... are you doing that?"

"I used my portal semblance to condense enough grimm essence into a power that is still technically an item so it works..."

"Wh-" she blinks. "What?"

"My power is one that breaks reality." I deadpan.

"O-Okay." She whispers before closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, seemingly getting courage of some sort. "Be my friend."

"What-"

"Every time I see you, and ask this question, you avoid the question and run away." Ruby frowns. "So, I'm not asking anymore, Be. My. Friend."

"Uh, Rubes I don't know if that's how it works-"

"Sure, why not." I shrug, cutting off Yang as she goes to voice her opinion.

"…"

"did that seriously wor-"

"YAAAAY!" Ruby exclaims as she leaps to her feet and starts doing a little victory dance.

"…"

I look to Yang and then back to Ruby.

"I know what you are thinking, and yes, whenever she isn't shy... she's this..." Yang sighs.

Yang and I share a moment of second hand embarrassment, shame, realization and pain as we realize that this is my life now... and there is no escape.

* * *

**The *ANGERY* of the day goes to: Random Nerd Otaku, the reason being that YOU MADE MY LIFE HELL WHEN I WENT TO GO COPY THESE GUEST REVIEWS! FECK U!**

**Annyway~ **

**Guest Reviews:**

**RubyxTeal: "I'm going to assume tyrian interaction with Teal is preplanned with what I suggested before."**

**.**

***Thumbs up***

**.**

**Goteam: "I don't remember if you mentioned it but didn't then you say this is a Ruby and Teal story or is it a harem. Because of the way Teal and Weiss interact I would seem like Weiss is winning. Why does Weiss get a sacred gear and Ruby doesn't especially blade blacksmith she's the one who loves weapons with a passion. I can see if you give her the counterpart to it sword birth but still. Last thing is why does Weiss get to be a friend's with Teal but Ruby is denied."**

**.**

**Eh, either or... its gonna be a Ruby story or a Weiss story, maybe both.**

**Dontworryaboutsacredgears...Rubywillgetone**

**Because Weiss is calm, regal, and sophisticated... Ruby is a land mine full of second hand embaressment.**

**.**

**Guest 001: " Can't wait till momma Yukari and papa Dio have a chat with Teal**  
**And will he be getting anymore ordainarydefinitelynotopnononocoursenot spatial abilities like being able to screw with the distance between things?"**

**.**

**Yep that chat will be glorious!**

**And of course he will you fucking idiot XD there are still things he can get from his creation ability... like the excaliber fragments... though I don't see why he would, he won't be able to wield them... seeing as how probably the only people capable of wielding them in Rwby would be 1: someone with silver eyes, or 2: Jaune.**

**.**

**D.O.F.: "says 'Faunus don't exist' as a reply for this chapter**  
**inserts Tyrian who is a scorpion faunus at the same time**

**I feel like calling you an "Idort", but I know that'll lessen the chance you'll listen to my reviews anymore and my requests for bullying Cardin into submission will go ignored. So, I'll settle with asking you to bully Cardin once again, because it seems to not be one of your top priorities right now, and thus, an annoyance for you. Consider it payback for literally going back on what you wrote for this chapter."**

**.**

**call me an idort will you :C BANISHED! TO THE FUCKIN' MUUN WITH YEE!**

**He needs to let Cardin forget his garbage-can-based-trauma so he acts like a fucking douchebag in the beacon arcs... theeeen Teal will kick his ass...**

**.**

**R S: " Dio and fanon yukari were the parents he was referncing**  
**shouldnt it be sakuya"**

**.**

**Alright, im just gonna flat out say it... you are kind of an idiot... give me ONE good reason why it should be sakuya instead of Yukari?**

**.**

**Guest 002: " He better hope the gods don't ever come back in his lifetime as discovering another gods champion/entertainment on their planet would be the same as a random stranger breaking into your house and plays with your sacred personal save slot of the sims, your going to get fucking pissed. So in preparation of the worse case scenario it's best to stock up the upside down with a crap load of food and water so he can hide for a long time and not be vaporized by the Dr Manhattan ripoffs."**

**.**

**Pfft- NAAAH goddess chan would be all "You must construct additional pilons" and send them back to their happy place as she eats their draconic souls, uttering a final "All your base are belong to us."**

**And the only way for the gods to come back is when the four relics are gathered... so if teal tosses one of them into the sun (Preferably the least useful one) he doesn't have to worry about it!**

**.**

**Cf96: " tyrian Knows teal in some mysterious way that's...concerning"**

**.**

**Yep.**

* * *

**Annnywaaay, see you all next week! I might also post a little something extra as I have two chapters (for separate stories) almost done and I want to see what you think of them! but now, i only have 3 more chapters prepared for Portals and Pizzazz... sad boi hours... though i guess this brief break has allowed me to play quite a few games, so that's nice!**


	8. Chapter8Do you want dinner,a bath,or me?

**Don't Own Rwby, Only The Oc**

'thought'

"Speech"

**"Tvs, Radios, and Text via book or newspaper... when those are around..."**

_(Mid Chapter Authors Notes)_

* * *

I blink as Ruby finishes her thirty fifth weapons tangent, this one being about how 'higher caliber weapons are great fun because you can use them for double jumps n stuff'.

She has already made Crescent Rose... it just hasn't been painted yet.

"Heeey, Teal! What should I paint my precious Cresent Rose?"

"Red and Black." I answer without a second of hesitation.

I blankly stare at her as she picks up the compact form with one hand and looks at it. "Hrrm... yeah that would fit my color scheme as well!"

"How are you even doing that?!" I whisper.

"Whazzit?" She asks as she turns her head to look at me.

"That's like one hundred pounds, right? HOW ARE YOU HOLDING IT WITH ONE HAND! You have like ZERO muscle mass!"

"I drink milk." She hums in a really proud tone.

"Does... aura give people superior strength?" I mutter under my breath. "Can I easily pick up over one hundred pounds now?"

"Maybe?" Ruby shrugs.

"Cresent Rose is made out of Steel, right?"

"Yep!"

"Ugh... you casual." I sigh.

"What else would it be made out of?"

I pull out an ingot of purplish metal.

"What is... that?"

"It is a mix of thirty percent Adamantine and seventy percent Mithril." I answer.

"Those... don't exist..."

"…"

Iron Maiden appears beside me and walks around a bit.

"Ah... Right... you're you."

You should have seen her the first time she saw Iron Maiden.

"How many bars of the stuff do you need?" I ask.

She gasps. "I don't want to take apart my baby!"

"Ruby, just make backup parts for it, let's say for example that one of the internal pieces break, you replace it with an adamantium one, you could eventually have an ENTIRE adamantium Cresent Rose and it will still be the same thing, you might just have to re-paint a few bits, which, I would like to add, Cresent Rose herself doesn't even HAVE a paint-job currently, but okay, keep your _Steel_" I grumble.

"Isn't adamantium known for being really tough to work with?" She asks. "So, wouldn't we need a furnace that uses burn dust to even bring it to a point where it will be mallable."

"Malleable."

"That's what I said!"

"Suuuure." I sigh and hand Ruby the ingot of magic metal. "Annnyway, you keep this, and use it to fix Cresent Rose when she gets damaged... or I mean... you could use it as a blunt weapon... that's also fun."

"Hmmmm..."

She swings it at the metal table.

***CLANG***

It creates a square indent about an inch deep in the park table.

"…" she is quiet for a few seconds.

"…"

"I wasn't even swinging it that hard..."

I let out a yawn and cover my mouth.

"Welp... I'm probably going to head out." I shrug.

"Yeah." She nods. "It is getting kind of late."

"Tell Yang I said 'hi'." I wave as walk through a portal, closing it behind me.

Said portal leading about 100 feet into the slightly treed area in this park.

Iron maiden plugs into a completely random electrical socket that is hidden in the stump of a tree.

A few seconds pass and a large metal bunker door opens up from the ground.

I yawn and walk inside, down the stairs, the door closing behind me, locking into place.

I open a wooden door after about 6 steps and walk into a fairly small room, basically I just buried a motorhome underground and had a 'bunker' entrance lead down to it.

Only three people know the location of the doorbell, those people being Yang, Ruby, and myself, and only I am able to actually open the door... or in some cases I just create a portal to the surface and allow them inside.

Iron maiden plugs into a large flat screen tv that I acquired through TOTALLY LEGAL means and starts flipping through channels at my mental command.

I snap my fingers once as a thought crosses my mind...

That's right! A SINGLE thought! Surprising, right?

'if bird-face one and two are capable of killing Ursa Minor... fairly easily... and they are worth maybe one-to-two giant nevermore... which is about 3600-7200 Creeps, what would a grimm made of about Three hundred THOUSAND Creeps be able to do? That is like... EIGHTY-FIVE GIANT NEVERMORE!'

'…'

I freeze as I realize the possibilities.

Then I instantly teleport out of the city limits.

"Come forth, my ULTIMATE creation!"

A surprisingly small portal appears in front of me.

A white hand grips the side of hit... a small... white... humanoid han-

'Que?'

A humanoid form, maybe five-foot seven flops out of the portal and faceplants in the dirt in front of me.

"…"

"Where... am I..." It mutters in a feminine voice as it rubs its temple

It has long silky white hair that goes down to its lower back, and skin paler than snow, it looks up to me and its black eyes blink, the only respite from the sea of darkness that is her eyes being the blood red pupils that seem to glow in the slightly shade of the canopy we are under.

"M-Master!" It exclaims as it goes from being faceplanted to a kneeling position.

I take this time to realize something...

She is completely nude...

"WHAT THE FUC-

* * *

The now clothed most likely abomination bows before me.

"What do you require of me, Master?"

"what..." I slowly blink.

She looks up to me. "You are my creator and thus my master, so what do you wish of me?"

"…"

"Do you have a name?" I ask after a short time.

"Tools do not require names, Master." She smiles. "However, if you wish, you can give me one."

I rub my temple. "You aren't a tool; you have human-like intelligence and deserve a name..."

I tap my chin. "How about... Lilith..."

She nods. "I like this name; I will use it with pride."

"Please stand up." I sigh.

She grins and hops to her feet instantly, the long red dress she has on fluttering at the sudden movement and her chest bouncing slightly.

'…'

'lewd thoughts OUTTA MY HOUSE!' The horrid thoughts going through my head are tossed out a mental window with the accompaniment of breaking glass.

A couple blood vessels in my eye explode.

"So, like... what now?" I ask. "Can you explain the 'master' thing for me... because I am a bit confused on that front."

"Oh!" She exclaims with a slight sweat-drop. "I am sorry, M'lord! Am I your first sentient creation?"

"The first that can speak..." I answer.

"Ah." She hums. "Well, it is fairly simple, Master, you gave me life, so I am to serve you!"

"I will do anything you ask." She smiles. "it is my job to protect you and make you stronger!"

"Anything?"

The sound of more broken glass is heard, this time out loud, and a small stream of blood drips from my ear.

I sigh and open a portal allowing a completely 'normal' beowolf to step through.

"See if you can command this." I yawn as I hop up into the air where I stand on a portal.

She walks over to the beowolf as it blankly stares at her.

She holds out a hand to it her eyes closed and a heavenly smile on her face.

"Shake."

***Chomp***

The beowolf had bitten her hand.

"…"

Her smile gets slightly more strained, her eyes refusing to open.

"…"

The head of the beowolf disappears as it is launched back into a tree, three circular holes appearing in its torso that leak grimm smoke as Lilith draws her fist back.

She looks back to me and shyly scratches the back of her head. "Sorry, master, it looks like I wasn't able to do it~"

I flinch as the event finally catches up to me... she had punched three holes in its torso in the blink of an eye... and also destroyed its head... without moving one of her arms.

"…"

I blink off my abject terror/fear/erec- ignore that last one and I am left with a single question.

"Do you think you could kill goliaths?"

"Hm?" She asks. "The big elephant things?"

"Yep."

"I mean, all you have to do is open a small portal near their weak spots and I can punch through it." She shrugs.

"…"

"HOLY SHIT!"

* * *

That day, a pack- pride- Hoard- Flock- One sec.

"Hey, Lilith, what do you call a pack of elephants?"

"A herd or a 'parade'." She answers.

"Ah."

And on this day, a parade of about ten elephants fucking DIED with minimal effort... though it was sort of death by ten thousand blows, but after I figured out I could technically 'boost' her punches with my bullshit momentum twice critical... it became a biiiit easier... and by that, I mean with a single punch she destroyed one of their brains- or whatever acts as it for a grimm- when she punched it through the eye.

'…'

I can make about five more Lilith now...

But would I want to?

'I'm going to say a hard "no" to that... the world isn't ready for that kind of torment.'

'but what can I do with all this essence?'

'Hmm Hmm Hmm..." I hum in thought.

'I could try and make the dragon balls, but they would defiantly cost more than the boosted gear- or would they?'

'one wish per year... can even be used to revive someone... vs something that boosts power up to Super-Saiyan level in seconds... doubling every 10 seconds... eventually reaching up to one thousand times strength after about ten boosts... then two thousand... four thousand... eight thousand... sixteen thousand...'

'yeesh...' I mentally sigh. 'what could I even make?'

'what powers could I possibly make with my ability?'

'kaioken?'

I feel a sudden draining sensation that leaves me with one goliath-worth of essence.

'what?'

A red orb enters my chest.

'…'

'I have a twice critical already! Why would I need kaioken?!'

I sigh and get up from the couch. "Iron maiden, Return." I call in a dead tone, watching as the small robot unplugs from the tv and walks over to me.

"Are you leaving, master?" Lilith asks from the kitchen table where she is carefully stacking cards into a tower.

"Yeah, I got a new power and I wanted to test it out." I yawn.

'hmm... I should also go visit Weiss sometime.'

Lilith salutes me. "Alright! I will hold down the fort!"

"thanks." I shrug as I wave, walking through a portal that appears ahead of me.

I take a deep breath and pull out my scroll and shift to the 'aura monitor' app.

"Let's try this out..."

"Kaioken."

A bright red aura explodes around me as I watch my aura take a hit then slowly start ticking down, the first 'spark' of kaioken brought it down by ten percent, now it seems to be draining by about five percent every three or four seconds.

'fascinating... it is using aura in place of my lack of Ki...'

I allow the boost to dissipate after about five more seconds, leaving me at about seventy Aura, then it takes about twenty percent away and I feel a light tickling sensation, leaving me at fifty aura even.

'it also disables the drawback of Kaioken while I have aura... I assume it would actually hurt me if I did it with no aura.'

'hmmm...'

I hum as I watch my aura slowly start regenerating. 'what about this?'

"Kaioken"

**"Boost"**

The first 10% is taken out normally, but because of my 'influx' of energy, my aura is ticking down at a MUCH faster pace, about five percent every two seconds instead of the normal five every four.

'doubles the strain but also the boost... bringing me up from times one-point-five to times three.'

I drop the kaioken and watch as my aura takes another punch, this time bringing me to zero and causing my body to sting A LOT.'

'okey dokey, not ready for it without aura... owowow'

The pain goes from a four out of ten on the 'so annoying I couldn't sleep if I felt this constantly' scale to a one out of ten, causing me to let out a sigh of relief, going from needle pricks as if I slept on my arm- but to my whole body, to a nice slightly sore if I move a certain way pain.

'more experimentation is to be had in the future...'

I just shrug and walk into a portal, teleporting myself back home.

* * *

Alright, after quite a bit of experimentation, I figured out some rules, some of these I have already gone over, but it might be wise just to place them all in a list.

I pull out a small notebook

**1: Kaioken x1 is actually just a times 1.5 multiplier to strength speed and senses instead of x2 like you would think.**

**2: The rules around the cost for kaioken seems to be the number called out x10 for 'activating' it, then double that when you want to end it, along with a constant drain throughout the use, there are some inconsistencies, however, which will be detailed in the next rule.**

**3: Kaioken x1 + boost is actually a CHEAP tactic! Like, if I go x1 and then boost, I only lose 10% of my aura at the start instead of 30% like I would for a kaioken x3... and if I dissipate my 'boost' BEFORE I get to a low amount of energy, I only lose 20% of my aura instead of the 40% I would lose if I kept my boost active throughout the 'ending process' allowing me to 'cheese the system' slightly with my sacred gear. Sadly, 'boost' does not grant me enhanced senses like kaioken does, it only doubles my fighting power, meaning that I am stuck with senses that are only 1 and ½ as good as a normal person instead of 3 times... sad, right?**

**4: **_***Kaioken times 5 or higher will most likely fucking kill me currently* **_

A bit of a side note on rule four: I haven't even tried to go past kaioken times three...

**5: Surprisingly kaioken x1 is actually costing less to activate and manage, I don't know if my aura is getting bigger, or I am getting better at using kaioken, but something strange is happening, at the start, it was 10% to activate, then a 'cost to maintain' of about 1.25% per second and 'drawback cost' of 20%, now the activation has decreased to 8%, the maintaining price has decreased to 1% exactly, and the 'drawback cost' has decreased to 16% which, I guess is kind of reasonable, but meh... it also affects my boost technique as well... which is kind of surprising, the 'maintain cost' has been decreased from 2.5% every second, to 2% every second... if this keeps up, could it be possible for me to 'master' kaioken like how Goku and Gohan mastered Super Saiyan? Strangely, Kaioken x2 and x3 still cost the same as before, so I guess it is either that my aura capacity increase was just the right amount to affect only the kaioken x1, or my 'mastery' theory might have some merit.**

It has been about a week since I got this power, and I train with it as often as I can, I am currently sitting in the cargo bay of a bullhead as I decided to visit Weiss once more, and I have just made a fucking BREAKTHROUGH!

I pull out a pen.

**6: KAIOKEN CAN HAVE DECIMAL POINTS! HOLY SHIT THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING! I currently have what is known as 'kaioken 0.1' on now and it is absolutely AWESOME, it isn't powerful enough to actually create an aura around me sadly, but it does give me a light red outline when it is in use which is fairly badass! Franky, it changes quite a bit... its main 'start up' cost is LESS than 1%! And its cost to maintain is like 0.1 every second... which I mean... is quite a bit when put into context of keeping it active at all times, but with my passive aura regeneration I can keep this up for over TWENTY minutes with no problem at all! Why didn't Goku try something like this in the first pla- **

…

…

**He can barely count to one hundred... trying to think of decimals would explode his brain most likely...**

***Sigh* there goes quite a bit of respect for one of my heroes...**

I look away from my notebook and slide the pencil down the spine of the book, then close it.

'that's just kind of depressing...'

I look down at my lightly glowing hand where I open and close it a few times.

'now, you all might be thinking, "what the actual hell does this change?! If kaioken times one only grants you a times one-point-five bonus kaioken zero-point-one must not ever matter at all!" And you would be right... in a sense... but kaioken point one grants me an increase of about one-twentieth... now, that doesn't seem like much, but with the application of my twice critical, it becomes one-tenth, and that actually changes just a bit... and also just being able to think just that little bit faster helps more than you know.'

I let out a long yawn.

'how close am I to the city now?'

I look through a small portal to see a city quite a few miles away.

'Eh... I can make that jump!'

I hop into a portal that I make appear on the floor and land in Atlas' 'upper' district and by 'upper' I mean, the flying part... then I instantly fall into the upside down to regain energy for a warp to the Schnee manor.

"Might as well train a little bit." I sigh as I walk over to a table and slip a bracelet on, then turn a dial on the top of it.

I fall to my knees at the sudden increase of gravity.

'aura defiantly helps... but I think five times might be a bit much... if I was a 'normal' human that probably would have killed me...'

"Let's get this over with." I sigh as I push off the floor and into a standing position.

"Hrg-" I grunt as I almost fall flat on my ass.

I let out a sharp breath of air and take a step forward.

'I should keep this on at all times if I really want to see some increases to abilities.'

"fuck it, let's turn up the heat!" I exclaim. "Kaioken times Zero-Point-Two!"

The dim red outline surrounding me brightens a bit, causing me to smirk and take another step forward.

'this might take a little tiiime~'

* * *

**Hiya! Im posting this early so I can go to bed and read all this when I wake up tomorrow~ see ya!**

**Guest reviews:**

**RubyxTeal: "Are you going to let Teal go to the DxD unverise when he's able to? Since you letting him make a lot of sacred gears. I can just picture Azazel frothing from the mouth seeing Teal make sacred gears like that. If not canon how about a omake?"**

**.**

**More than likely...**

**.**

**Cf96: " If teal actually gave ruby a sacred gear that lets her make weapons he'd never get a moment of peace again lol"**

**.**

***Teal's depressed sigh***

**.**

**Guest 001: "can you make one chapter of this series entirely rhymed ?"**

**.**

**Haha! **_*****__**NO**__*****_

**.**

**D.O.F: " *incoming transmission from the moon***  
**i lived bitch**

**Now, I must thank you for the reassurance of Cardin being bullied in the upcoming chapters. I will now proceed to ask you to make Teal assist a certain Faunus in making him their "Female Dog". I am Going to leave you to figure out who that may be, so don't expect me to tell you. God knows if I were to reveal my greatest sin in this world; if that were to happen, let's just say it will make you want to quit on this altogether. Also, I look forward to reading another of your crack-filled chapters and I thank you again for the mentions in them.**

**.**

**Easy solution... just need to call the dark god to blow up the other half of the moon...**

**Uhhh... thanks?**

* * *

**Maybe one more chapter of this, next week, then I will move on to another thing.**


	9. Chapter 9: Prologue Complete

**Don't Own Rwby, Only The Oc**

'thought'

"Speech"

**"Tvs, Radios, and Text via book or newspaper... when those are around..."**

_(Mid Chapter Authors Notes)_

* * *

I disable the gravity enhancement and wipe the sweat off my brow.

"That's pretty tough." I sigh as I take off the bracelet and lay it on a table.

I roll my shoulders and let out a sigh.

I spent about two hours training there.

"Kaioken Times Zero-Point-One"

'sadly it will take a bit of time to get to a point where I can keep this up forever, my aura goes from zero to full in roughly an hour, and that is about one percent every thirty-six seconds, and currently, kaioken zero-point-one takes about one percent of my aura every ten seconds... so I need to basically get four times better with it to have it be active at all times.'

I let out a sigh and locate Weiss by looking through a couple of portals.

'Iron Maiden, disable surveillance around our conversation.

I open a small portal below my stand and allow it to plug into the wall, then shrink the portal to the size of a needle as to make the mech not disappear.

'technically, I am still within however so many meters of it...'

I shrug as Iron Maiden returns to me, then hop through a portal and sit down on a portal leading back to the upside down, watching Weiss in the midst of combat! With several white beowolves slowly creeping around her.

'ah... volume five trailer.'

Weiss had just been disarmed of her rapier, and she takes a deep breath and rubs her head with her eyes closed, granting one of the summoned grimm the chance to leap at her.

Her eyes snap open and she summons a new blade, this one mimicking her Myrtenaster for a brief moment before the blade ignites.

That blade finds a home right in the eye socket of the grimm lunging at her, the head of the grimm being blown clean off, then she leaps back with assistance from her semblance, flinging a summoned dagger at a second beowolf who had begun to follow her, the blade finding itself lodged in the knee of said beowolf where it promptly MELTS through the knee and severs its leg.

'…'

'holy weapons are stronger against grimm than first thought...'

'also, she should have 'died' there in canon...'

She kicks Myrtenaster up into her hand as she lands next to it.

'she also seems a bit more skilled and less 'showy' than in the volume 5 canon...'

She flings the fiery rapier at a group of two beowolves where it explodes on contact with the ground, catching both of them in a fiery inferno that destroys about half their bodies.

'hm... the beacon entrance exam isn't for another half a year... she might be the team leader at this rate...'

She runs her finger along the blade of Myrtenaster, causing it to be coated in a white hazy mist, then she waits...

The first beowolf lunges at her, but she cuts its arm off, her blade leaving a couple spikes of ice on the stump, where icy tendrils slowly creep down the remains of the arm and towards its torso.

'eh... she will be fine.' I shrug as I fall back into the upside down. 'I'll talk to her once she goes back to her room.'

* * *

"Heeey buddy!"

"EEK- oh... it's you." Weiss abruptly sits up from her bed but sighs and lays back down after realizing it is me.

"Yo." I shrug.

She lets out a long sigh from under her arm that she is using to cover her eyes and face. "What do you want?"

"Just wanted to see how you are doing." I shrug.

"Just peachy." She answers in a slightly annoyed tone.

"…"

"well, it seems like you aren't in a good mood, so I'm just going go... I'll see you in Beacon in a couple months~"

She lets out another long sigh as I fall back into the upside down.

'greaat... a day wasted by traveling to Atlas... ugh... the flight back is like six hours...'

* * *

"Hey Ruby~" I hum as I walk outside of my bunker via portal. "How are you today?"

"Im good, was in Vale today picking up some ammunition and I wanted- OH MY GOSH! TEAL YOU ARE GLOWING!"

I look at my hands. "so I am."

"Why? Why are you GLOWING?!"

"A technique I am working on." I shrug. "Don't worry about it."

"Oooh!" She hums. "What can it do?!"

"I mean, in this form, not much, that is why I am training it." I yawn. "This is a special power I gave myself called the 'kaioken'."

"Kaio-what?" She asks.

"Allow me to show you it when it isn't suppressed to one-tenth the original power."

"Kaioken."

***Fwoosh***

"WOAAAAH!" She exclaims as grass, dust, and any small twigs or leaves are blown away from us, her hair ruffling from the breeze the kaioken created.

I hold up my scroll on the 'aura monitor' app and show it to her. "This form multiplies my strength, speed, senses, and all the other traits I use in a fight by one-point-five."

She reaches out and grabs my scroll, watching as my aura falls.

**"BOOST"**

And then gasps as the drain practically doubles its speed.

I swing my hand off to the side to dissipate my 'boost', the punch moving at SIX TIMES my normal 'base form' attack, then the kaioken diminishes back down to the zero-point-one form that I am NEARLY able to keep up at all times, since last week, when I went to go see Weiss, I doubled the time I was able to hold this.

"How much do I have left?" I ask Ruby.

"About fifty percent." Comes her response.

"Ah." I sigh as I take my scroll back and turn it off.

"So, what are you up to today, Ruby?" I ask with a smirk as I walk towards the direction we normally talk, a couple picknick tables lined up under a large overhand.

"You know, just buying some ammunition for my baby!" She exclaims, bringing out the folded form of the NOW PAINTED Cresent Rose so she can rub her face on it.

"Neat."

"Mhm!" She hums in a chipper tone. "What have you been doing?"

"I went to visit one of my friends in Atlas, but saaadly she wasn't in such a good mood so I came back." I say as I take a seat at one of the tables. "I also killed ten goliaths so that was pretty cool."

"T-Ten G-Goliaths?" She whispers.

"I mean, technically, I had help from a new friend I made... that last word having two meanings in this scenario..." I explain.

"…"

"yeah, I'm awesome!" I smirk. "I am at least hoping to be able to hold a kaioken times two for like at least a minute when I get to beacon!"

"times... two?" Ruby mutters.

"Oh, right, I only did a 'times one' for you, basically, kaioken has higher levels, each multiplying my strength by the number called out, kaioken times one and lower being the exceptions where it only increases my strength by one-point-five or less."

"Woooow!" She exclaims. "Math..."

"Only downside is that anything higher than four will probably kill me~"

"Oh…"

"Yep."

"that's kind of lame if it takes that much aura..." Ruby pouts. "If it just took some energy it would be really good."

"…"

'would it actually be better if I had ki?'

'…'

'how much would it cost to actually grant me the ability to use Ki?'

'double what I currently have, eh? Damn...'

"It would be 'really good'." I sigh.

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Dear god we are awkward..." I mutter after an EXCRUCIATING few seconds of awkward silence.

"Eheh." Ruby shyly scratches the back of her head. "So..."

"…"

"Yeah?" I ask.

"Would you like... to maybe..." Ruby continues, steadily losing momentum and volume the longer she goes. "Go see a movie or... something..."

"Ummm..." I scratch my chin. "Sure."

"Yes!" She grins and hops to her feet.

She grabs my hand and pulls me up as well and starts running. "Come on! It is going to start soon!"

* * *

I mean... that was a thing... the movie was decent I guess... think like the Avengers but with more grimm and less purple chin dudes wielding a bejeweled oven mitt.

Now I am just sort of chilling at home on the couch, drinking a juice box and passively using Kaioken 0.1 "So, Lilith, how was your day?"

"I managed to not only dust our abode, but vacuum it as well!" She exclaims.

"Lilith, you do know that you aren't my maid, right, you don't have to do that..." I sigh.

"But I wish to do it, Master, it is the least I could do for you after you brought me into this world!" She grins, a cheerful expression on her face as she sits down beside me. "And besides, you would probably just trip over any filth you leave around and die! And I can't have that, No No No!"

"Look, Lilith, you are ALIVE, you need to have your own life goals, and junk like that." I sigh.

She opens her mouth.

"Besides making my life easier."

She closes her mouth and pouts cutely.

'now that I think about it, she looks NOTHING like Salem, she looks to be about four-to-five inches shorter, keeps her long snow white hair down instead of tying it up, has ZERO creepy veins on her face, and somehow she can make her blood red eyes with black sclera look adorable... like she somehow is capable of pulling off 'Puppy eyes' and that is... strange...'

"ooh!" She exclaims suddenly. "I know what I want to do for my life!"

I mentally prepare myself for her answer 'your next line is 'I wish to breed with master'… to you...'

"I wish to reproduce with master!" She exclaims, confirming my fears.

'***Sigh***… Why?'

"Meh, if that is what you want, go for it, but I can't promise you it will happen though." I shrug.

'let's see here... Beacon starts in about five-ish months in early April... and the 'entrance exam' is held literally the day before... I have a lot of work if I want to be able to 1v1 Cinder when she goes full maiden mode...'

I pull out a check list

**Teal's Super Omega Starter Plan To Kick Total Maiden Ass (Aka things I need to do in the next year or so):**

**Evolve Iron Maiden to an Act 2 or 3: [ ]**

**Get to a point where I can hold a boost and a kaioken x2 for up to 5 minutes, or, if possible, endlessly. [ ]**

**Get a Balance Breaker for either of my Sacred Gears. [ ]**

**Get Ki and learn how to shoot a kamehameha for the memes. [ ]**

**Get a better sacred gear? Maybe? Boosted Gear is always a plus... also really broken considering the world. [ ]**

I slowly nod.

'yes... this will do nicely...' I mentally cackle.

* * *

"how do I..." I mutter under my breath as I look over to my 'STANDO POWAH'.

"Change now?"

"Act 2 Activate?"

"Transform!"

"Go even further beyond?"

"It's morphing time?"

"…" the robot stand does nothing.

"I'm dead inside?"

THE MECH INSTANTLY TRANSF- Pfft- nah I'm just kidding, it STILL does nothing.

"…"

I sigh and rub my forehead. "How do I transform you?"

"…" the robot sadly doesn't sprout into song and dance singing about the way to fix my problems.

"Feck- it might be something obscure." I sigh. "Don't I have enough fighting spirit to call in at least an Act 2? I mean, Koichi was a pussy at the start of part four... and I have already been in several life or death situations..."

"…"

'there is ONE last thing I need to try...'

I pull out a controller.

"Plug in." I command the small robot, watching as it jacks into the charger port of this wireless controller.

'up up down down left right left right B A Start.'

The stand glows brightly.

"HOLY SHIT!" I exclaim. "THAT FUCKING WORKED?!"

A large fist punches out through the back of my mech, it is covered grey plates that resemble a muscly arm and has some sort of azure glow that shows through the creases in the armor.

Then the old 'body' of my stand explodes outwards revealing a head, torso, and another arm, no legs however, it has a glowing blue section instead of legs and has a few pebble sized pieces of metal floating below it.

It buzzes as it hovers in the air and turns its head to 'look' at me.

It only has a single large eye in the center of its head, the color being blue like the cracks in its armor.

A good description of the eye and head would be the head from that pacific rim jaeger 'Crimson Typhoon'.

'how the ACTUAL HELL was I supposed to figure that out!'

A folded note hits me directly in the face.

**Dear Teal**

**Congrats! You unlocked the act 2 stage of Iron Maiden, now you only have 1 more to go before you reach the final act~ and I was going to give you a hint on how to get 'Act 2' when canon started so you wouldn't be confused for that long... only like 6 months! And you will figure out Act 3 eventually, and by eventually I mean at one of the season finales of the first 3 volumes, be it 1 2 or 3, you will eventually get it!**

**Youshouldalsoprobablyexpectsomekickasspowerupswhencanoncomesaroundsowatchoutforthat.**

**Annnyway, here if your Act 2 stand's stat sheet.**

**Stand Name: Iron Maiden (Act 2)**

**Stand Master: Teal Indie **

**Statistics: **

**Power: B**  
**Speed: B**  
**Range: D**  
**Durability: B**  
**Precision: C**  
**Potential: A**

**Iron Maiden's second form increases its physical abilities far beyond the first form's capabilities, the only downside being its hugely decreased range, its primary attack is to just punch anything that gets in its way, gaining the ability to punch through solid trees and thin sheets of Steel. It's new 'Special Attack' is a superpowered version of the previous form... to actually explain what it does, have you ever watched Michael Bay's Transformers, Teal? Basically your Stand is the 'All Spark' and can transform mechanical objects into 'fighting forms', or it can even combine two together into a larger mech or weapon, sadly, this would be HORRIBLY unbalanced if I just allowed you to do it to EVERYTHING, so I put a limit on your stand, meaning it can only ever 'mech-ify' a single car sized object or combine two things smaller than a Honda Micro-Commuter... which doesn't even exist in this universe...**

**Have fun!**

**\- Goddess-Chan**

I let out a snort. "Alright. Stage one of the plan is done, now onto two through four."

"Kaioken~"

A red crackling aura surrounds me as I walk into a portal.

* * *

'wow... author-sama is really just pissing away the days I have left till canon... I have, what, half a month left before Beacon ACTUALLY starts? Now I am watching for when Ruby goes to 'From Dust To Dawn' and I feel like that maaay be creeping into stalker-ish territory, but meh, for the sake of the world, sacrifices must be made~'

'also, it's not stalking! It is following! and I am just making sure she doesn't get into any trouble!

I made it to a point where I can keep up a Kaioken times one for about twenty minutes give or take, and a times two for about eight... meaning the 'boosted' times two lasts about four minutes... at this point, I can also handle a kaioken times six for about twenty seconds, so that is great as well... though I mean, it isn't much when the 'start up cost' is thirty and the drawback is sixty... buuut if I can manage to lower that, I should be good~

Anything lower than three-tenths I can keep up endlessly now, and even a five-tenths can be held up for a nice forty minutes!

Ruby skips into From Dust Till Dawn.

'fuck... is Canon really starting next chapter?'

I watch Roman Torchwick strut down the road with several backup dancers behind him.

'ah shit... here we go again.'

* * *

**Welp, and with this we have finished the portals and pizzazz marathon, next week we move on to monster huntersman and then the remnant gamer.**

**And some little shit guest is doing some grand ol harassment on my other stories saying that 'omakes' and replying to guests and author notes are against the rules and that he 'reported me'****, but, that is blatantly not true, the rules state that you can't have entire chapters dedicated to said things, and besides, the rules also state that there should not be any mature content such as lemons or limes, but that doesn't stop any of the writers in the dxd section (To be fair, I don't know what expected when they added that hentai anime), like for real, why don't you go bother that one guy who has a 14million+ word story that is just the word 'natsu' over and over and over and over and over again? And his sequel 'Goku Kakarot' which is just those two words repeated for about 1.4-ish million words.**

**Now onto the guest reviews:**

**Ill: "It is a shame that no character is watching his stunts... that would be hilarious!**  
**Thanks for the chapter!"**

**.**

**Sure... a Shame... now Ozpin has to work on telling the news a believable story about why a herd of 10+ giant grimm elephants have disappeared... with no trace of them ever to have existed in the first place...**

**.**

**Goteam: "So I'm guessing it's been a couple years since he tried to make a portal to the vault for the relics. So my question to you is is he capable of opening a portal now or he doesn't really need it since you can make any kind of weapon he wants with his powers? And you should totally make a dragon balls and give the dragon a funny ass name."**

**.**

**Yeah, it has been about 3-ish years, but a problem with that is that the relics all seem to be located in their very own pocket dimension, and currently, teal can only go between two realms, his own pocket dimension, and Remnant.**

**'come forth and grant my wish, GREG!'**

**.**

**Somebotmaybe: " Kaioken back**  
**And it's not even the gamer fic!**  
**Also BTW,**  
**How does Teal know all these numbers and percentages if he doesn't have the gamer interface?**  
**Is Teal the SECRET gamer you have been hiding from us?! Is this also mean that Mimic might also secretly be a gamer!? Dun Dun DUUNN ultimate reveals"**

**.**

**He knows the percentages because of the aura monitor app, you know, that thing that all huntsmen have on their scrolls n such that tell them their aura levels... he just had his STANDO plug in to give himself more accurate measurements.**

**.**

**D. O. F.: " for a sec there i thought you summoned Salem with all of those details about Lilith's creation and whatnot; i actually had to pause for a bit because of the 180 degree turn you went with making her naked**  
**i must say, i personally cannot wait to see what lewd happenings you get on with Lilith (Take that, "RubyXTeal"! There's another possible pairing in this story now!)"**

**.**

**Pfft- nah, but it will be kind of interesting to see Salem find another one of 'her kind' working for a 'lesser being'. There seem to be only 4 possibilities in this story, 1: RubyXTeal, 2: WeissXTeal, 3: LilithXTeal, or finally 4: Option 1 and 2 combined**

**.**

**Cf96: " I hope theirs a kaio-what reference that be hilarious"**

**.**

**Not so much now, but a semi-kaio-what reference... without punching Ruby in the face.**

* * *

**See you all next week~**


	10. Chapter 10: Breaking Tension

**Don't Own Rwby, Only The Oc**

'thought'

"Speech"

**"Tvs, Radios, and Text via book or newspaper... when those are around..."**

_(Mid Chapter Authors Notes)_

* * *

I watch as Ruby nonchalantly yeets an ENTIRE dude throughout the window from my place at a bench across the street.

She turns around and looks back inside and twirls her scythe, sticking the end in the asphalt as she clicks her headphones, turning off 'This will be the day'.

'that's my cue~'

I hop up and menacingly walk towards the other side of the street, stopping beside Ruby.

"Oh, hey Rubes, how have you been?" I ask, smirking slightly as the hilt of a large great sword sprouts from the ground.

"Hey, Teal." She hums acknowledging me without taking her eyes off the 'enemy'. "Are we going to beat them up?"

"You know it." I answer.

"Okaaay..." The mascara wearing criminal slowly draws out, looking over to his three hired thugs. "Get them..."

The three remaining bois in black look to each other and run out the door and towards us.

I grip the hilt of the great sword and pull it out of the asphalt with one hand, revealing just how deep it was in the ground, about three feet worth.

The first lunges at Ruby but she leaps over the swing and implants her boots into his cheek.

"Guh-" he grunts as he is sent flying away.

She does a flip and lands on her feet, Cresent Rose held behind her.

I lazily swing my great sword towards guy number 2 as he brings his own strange red curved blade to parry, but the strength behind my blow knocks the sword from his hand and I finish him off with a punch to the stomach that launches him through the broken window of the store in front of us, where he lands roughly in front of Roman.

The final guy tries to strike me from behind but Ruby shoots a bullet and spins around, sending the blunt end of her scythe into the stomach of the grunt as Iron Maiden's arm briefly appears from by back and punches him in the cheek.

He flies into a pole and causes it to bend around his torso.

"Holy shit he is fucking DEAD!" I exclaim as the light post folds over its own weight and smashes the bulbs into the sidewalk.

Roman walks out of the store and straightens his hat. "You were worth every cent, truly, you were."

He puts out his cigar by pressing the end of his cane on it. "Well, Red, Blue, I think we can all say it has been an eventful evening~ and as much as I would love to stick around, I'm afraid This ***Thoomp* **is where we part ways."

He points his cane at us and the end pops up into a reticle.

He pulls the trigger and sends a dust blast towards us, causing Ruby to leap up into the air with the recoil of Cresent Rose

I raise one of my eyebrows as iron maiden swats it out of the way where it lands safely about ten feet down the street.

Ruby lands beside me as Roman Torchwick vanishes from view.

She looks to the shop keep after briefly surveying her surroundings, locating roman climbing a ladder. "You okay if we go after him?"

"Uhuh." Grunts the old man who owns literally every store on remnant.

Ruby runs over to the wall and shoots the ground with Crescent Rose, using the recoil to leap up over the edge.

I just shrug and walk through a portal, appearing on the roof of the building.

"Hey!" Ruby shouts at Roman.

"Persistent." He grumbles.

A bullhead floats up from behind the building and shines a bright light on us.

"End of the line you two!" He shouts as he climbs up into the bullhead and pulls out a red dust crystal.

He tosses it at us- but it suddenly gets eaten by a portal and a light 'tink' sound is heard from behind Roman.

"…"

He looks behind him to see the same red dust crystal just sitting on the floor of the bullhead.

"…"

He fully turns his body so his back his facing us.

He shoots behind himself suddenly, aiming for me.

I fling my weapon, causing it to collide with the bullet and explode mid-air.

"Huh... well shit..." Roman mutters.

The bullhead is wracked with purple explosions as someone else lands on the roof of the building.

"Shit! We've got a huntress." He calls out as he scurries into the cockpit.

The blond-haired woman walks up to us and raises her weapon to the sky- said weapon being a riding crop for some reason- and summons a storm after shooting a purple bolt above it.

Ice spikes start to pepper the roof of the bullhead as a woman with glass high heels walks out from the cockpit.

She shoots a fire ball which riding crop lady deflects sending bits of magma around her that stick to the roof of this building, then, some sort of fire eye thing appears below her and explodes upwards, but riding crop lady does a back handspring to avoid it.

Then she collects all the broken shards into a massive spear and starts to spin it.

'rwby has changed a lot since volume 1... where the fuck did all these glyphs go?'

She launches the spear of building materials at the bullhead, which Cinder destroys with three well placed laser beams, only for it to reform, the bullhead tilting to deflect the blow off its roof.

***Slrrrrp***

The dramatic tension is immediately ruined as I loudly sip on a juice box causing everyone present to look at me and I stare blankly into glowey eyes girl's eyes. *Cough Cough* Cinder *Cough Cough*

Cinder narrows her eyes from behind the 'perfect shadow' as I smirk.

***Smack***

I open a portal and pimp slap her with the back of my hand, only to immediately shut it afterwards.

"…"

Cinder cups her cheek and glares furiously at me, Ruby looking on in astonishment and Glynda just looking confused.

Then I flip Cinder off and vaporize the already destroyed tension.

***Slrrrp***

Cinder's right eyebrow twitches as she raises her other hand.

She launches a laser beam at me but I just open a portal and send it back to her, which forces her to launch a second laser to cancel it out.

I see that she frowns only to widen her eyes and clap in front of her- stopping a blade that was traveling at IMENSE speed about an inch from her neck.

'meh... thought that would work.' I shrug as I toss the handle of said sword behind me and wink at Cinder.

She blocks the several bullets Ruby shoots at her without taking her eyes off me, then snaps her fingers, creating several eye shaped fire portal things below Ruby and Glynda, Glynda using her semblance to knock Ruby out of the way, then she flips out of the radius.

I hop up into the air about ten or so feet and stand on a portal that leads to the floor of the upside down, shaping the portal so it creeps up behind me and slowly transforms into a writhing rip in reality that looks like a load of tentacles made of darkness and red eyes.

Iron maiden's entire Act 2 body appears behind me, its arms raised and holding several knives between its fingers as I nonchalantly toss the empty juice box to the side.

I smirk viscously as Cinder's eyes widen slightly.

I point dead ahead, causing iron maiden to unleash a barrage of thrown daggers towards her.

She lets out a pulse of fire that knocks the blades off course, sending them flipping end over end through the air.

'ah well.'

I mimic a hand held detonator with my hand and slam my thumb down on my index finger before the knives could get close to any buildings or the roads below.

***Click***

There is a sudden pulse of heat and force as ten large explosions appear throughout the surrounding air.

The bullhead takes that time to close the door and blast off into the night sky.

I sigh and hop down onto the building. 'ah well.'

"You're a huntress?!" Ruby exclaims as she looks to Glynda. "C-Can I have your autograph?"

* * *

'how did I even get here?!' I blink as I look around the dark interrogation room.

…

'shouting "scatter!" And then trying to leap off the roof probably didn't help...'

"I hope you realize that your actions tonight will not be taken lightly." Glynda states as she walks around the room. "You put yourself and others in great danger."

"They started it!" Ruby exclaims.

"if it were up to me, I would send you home with a pat on the back..." Glynda continues, pausing for a brief moment to allow Ruby to smile.

"And a slap on the wrist!" She slams her riding crop on the table, causing Ruby to flinch back and hold her hands to her chest.

"EEp-"

I don't even react to her slamming the riding crop an inch to the left of my folded hands, the main reason for that being Iron maiden would fucking DESTROY that riding crop if dared to even scrape the side of my hand.

"And you! Using explosives near an occupied building, what were you thinking?! What if you missed?!"

'oh, I'm suuure that the ice shard damage of the road below that bullhead will agree with you, hypocritic bitch.' I slowly blink at her.

She sighs. "Buut there is someone here who wants to meet you..."

Ozpin takes this time to walk into the room holding a plate of cookies in one hand, and a cup of what I assume to be coffee in his other hand. "Ruby Rose..."

"You... have silver eyes." He states after a few seconds.

"U-Uhm-" Ruby mutters.

"And you have brown, what's your fucking point?" I yawn earning a glare from Glynda.

"So!" He states ignoring my sassy reply. "Where did you two learn how to do this?"

Glynda shows a video of Ruby jetting around with the recoil of her gun scythe as a strapping, super-hot, badass blue haired teen disarms one of the grunts... I'm not biased or anything...

"S-Signal academy?" Ruby stutters.

"Experience." I answer

"Signal Academy taught you to use one of the most dangerous weapons ever designed?" Ozpin asks as he looks towards Ruby.

"W-Well, one teacher in particular." She mutters

"I see..." He blinks as he lays the plate of chocolate chip cookies in front of Ruby.

Ruby starts INHALING cookies at a rapid pace.

"It's just that I've seen only one other scythe wielder of that skill before, a dusty old crow." Ozpin continues.

"Mhm- Ds mh uncml" Ruby answers with her mouth full.

"…"

She quickly swallows and coughs. "Sorry- Annyway, that's my uncle, Qrow! He's a teacher at signal."

"I was complete garbage before he took me under his wing-" Ruby continues.

"Bird pun." I yawn.

Ruby looks over to me and sighs. "Yang has tainted you..."

I shrug with a blank face.

She turns her attention back to Ozpin "So now I am all 'Hyah! Haah! Hup!'."

She accompanies each noise with a karate chop.

'fucking second hand embarrassmeeeeent-'

"So I have noticed." Ozpin deadpans as he places his mug on the table and sits down. "So, what is an adorable girl like yourself doing at a school designed to train warriors?"

"The way you said that sounds pretty sketchy-"

"Well," Ruby hums, ignoring my input. "I want to be a huntress."

"You want to slay monsters?" Ozpin asks.

"Hells yeah." I grin.

"Yeah." Ruby nods. "I only have two more years of training at Signal and then I'm going to apply to beacon."

"You see, my sister is starting there this year, and she's trying to become a huntress and im trying to become a huntress because I want to help people, and our parents always taught us to help other so I though eh might as well make a career out of it- heheh I mean, the police are alright, but huntsmen and huntresses are just so much more romantic and exciting and cool and- Kyaaa! You know?"

'I want death...'

Glynda blinks at her.

"…" Ozpin doesn't say anything for a few seconds.

He turns to look at me. "And you, I can hardly find anything at all on you... all that I know is that you disappear and re-appear at random and have slain many powerful grimm."

"Mhm, sounds about right." I nod.

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Care to... divulge any information about yourself... at all?" Ozpin eventually asks after realizing that I wasn't going to continue after my brief statement.

"I do care..."

"…"

"…"

"Alright then-" Ozpin begins, accepting that I am not going to elaborate on my life.

"My name is Teal Indie, I am currently Fifteen and I am homeless, and my hobbies include- but aren't limited to- killing grimm, training, killing grimm, somehow managing to avoid catching 'the crazy' after spending easily a third of my life inside my own semblance- which is a horrible place with almost no light, and the walls are made of darkness and eyes- training, traveling the world, being antisocial, having the least amount of friends possible- that number is at a three by the way- and finally, Pissing off things that are much stronger than me just for fun..." I cut him off with a smirk.

Ozpin sharply inhales then exhales. "so, this is your personality..."

He sighs then looks back up. "Do you two know who I am?"

"Hard not to." "You are Professor Ozpin, you are the headmaster at beacon." Comes our replies (Just try to guess who said what motherfucker!)

"Hello" he nods.

"Nice to meet you." Ruby smiles.

"Shouldn't we have done this at the start?"

"You want to come to my school?" Ozpin asks.

"More than anything." Ruby grins.

"Eh not really, but I made a promise to meet someone there, so I guess I will just have to suck it up."

Ozpin looks to Glynda who grunts and rolls her eyes.

"Well, Okay." He smiles.

* * *

"YES!" Ruby exclaims as soon as we leave the police station.

She hug-tackles me to the pavement. "I CAN'T BELIEVE WE GET TO GO TO BEACON TWO ENTIRE YEARS EARLY!"

"My spine-" I grunt from the floor.

"THIS IS A DREAM COME TRUE!" She grins.

"Eck-"

"Please get off me." I whisper from the floor, as she is crushing my lungs.

"O-OH! Sorry." She exclaims as she leaps away from me.

"oowww." I groan as I sit up.

I let out a really long sigh before hopping up to my feet. "Alrighty then, I have about two weeks to get in some SUPER training, so I'm gonna go do that~"

"ALSO!" I exclaim.

I create a burning sphere of white fire.

"Touch this."

"w-what?"

"Touch it!"

"Why?!"

I hold it out to her. "Just freaking poke it damnit!"

She points at me. "SWEAR!"

I shove the ball of fire against the side of her hand where it sinks into her skin.

"EEP-" she flinches back and blinks several times. "That didn't hurt?"

"Congratulations! I gave you the ability to summon swords, figure out that shit on your own."

"SWEAR!" She points at me again, causing a short sword to fire from her fingertip and fly the short distance between us before bouncing off my aura.

"…"

"…"

"Bye!" I exclaim hopping into the upside down.

I find a note neatly folded on the table.

I look around to see that the upside down has increased MASSIVELY, where it used to be just a simple 20 by 10 by 30-ish it is now big enough to fit an ENTIRE MANSION in here.

"HOLY SHIT!"

"Greetings, Master." Lilith bounces up to me with the letter. "This was sent to you."

**Dear Teal**

**Oh, Well, this is unexpected... it seems that your pocket dimension increased more than it was supposed to... huh... probably has something to do with your rigorous training or the fact that you are inserting multiple sacred gears and other powers into your body... **

**ANNNYWAY~**

**Your newest power is the ability to summon portals back through time! Sounds op, right? IT IS! It does have a downside though... you will fall into a coma that equals 1 day for every year a portal goes back in time! So, just under four minutes for a portal that goes back a day, and about 9 seconds for a portal that goes back for an hour!**

**See you again at the end of volume 3~**

**\- Goddess-chan**

"Fuck."

* * *

"Oh I can't believe my baby sister is going to beacon with me!" Yang exclaims as she brings Ruby into a hug. "This is the best day ever!"

***Slrrrp* **

Oh yeah, I'm there too.

"please shtop-" Ruby whispers.

"But I'm so proud of youu!" Yang exclaims.

"R-Really sis, it was nothing, besides, I had Teal there to help me..." Ruby grumbles as she gestures towards me.

"Sup."

"It doesn't matter, you did incredible!" Yang smirks. "Everyone at beacon is going to think you are the bee's knees!"

"I don't want to be the 'bee's knees', okay? I don't want to be any kind of knees! I just want to be a normal girl with normal knees!" Ruby pouts as she crosses her arms over her chest.

"What wrong with you aren't you exited?!" Yang grins colossally.

"Of course, I am excited, it's just... I got moved ahead two years... I don't want people to think I'm special or anything."

"Teal got moved ahead two years technically, and he didn't even GO to signal!" Yang points to me. "And you are special."

***Slrrrp***

"Well, Teal could easily pass off for a god with his semblance, so sorry, but that example was bad." Ruby grumbles.

"I mean, she's right about my semblance." I add in. "But Yang is also right, you are special, Ruby, you have plot device eyes and an ability to make swords, and have a giant death scythe that you are so accurate with you could probably blow up a grape from a mile away!"

"The robbery was led by-" a tv draws our attention away from this touching moment, but I quickly tune it out.

"whelp." I yawn. "I'll see you two on the ground."

I fall through the floor.

* * *

**Hey, i decided to release my weekly chapter early! wow, lolimsorandom (this is a cry for help, i can't keep a cohesive upload schedule...) so dont really expect anything to be posted on Wednesday~ **

**Guest Reviews:**

**Cf96: "I wonder if ruby will realize she basically just went on a date with teal"**

**.**

**not until really far in the future, but as in a 'Well, i actually went on a DATE with teal' sort of way when she is battling for dominance over who should be Teal's girlfriend.**

**.**

**VLF: "My crack addiction has been satisfied now."**

**.**

**Might as well call me the 'Crack Dealer' because i cant make a serious plot even if i tried!**

**.**

**Guest 001: "14million words on a story that only has 'natsu' typed in? well... i know what im reading this summer!"**

**.**

**It's a good read, you would like it!**

**.**

**GoTeam: "Wait there's rule against Omkae and Responding to review. That's dumb. What's so wrong about that. Also what kind of dumbass would report and issue like that for no reason."**

**.**

**a guest apparently, but here is the actual 'Wording' of the rules.**

**Entries not allowed:**

**Non-stories: lists, bloopers, polls, previews, challenges, author notes, and etc. (This means entire 'entries' so like if i just posted after every chapter an entire chapter of Author's notes) One or two liners. (Understandable... you dont want a load of stories clogging up your servers that are only 12-24 words.) MST: comments inserted in between the flow of a copied story. (This means that most of those 'Cast React To' stories are kind of illegal, though there are some exeptions Stories with non-historical and non-fictional characters: actors, musicians, and etc. (This one is just sort of retarded... but i get why they have it) Any form of interactive entry: choose your adventure, second person/you based, Q&As, and etc. (This is why i posted that one Qna as a LARGE omake back in the original Remnant Gamer) Chat/script format and keyboard dialogue based entries. (this one is sort of 50-50 for me, like i get how it would be annoying to read a bunch of code n stuff, but i think this applies to the same 'no entire chapter' rule as the non-stories thing, and some people can make this really flow well with a chapter, like if it is a hacking thing, or a group chat.)**

**and besides, who actually FOLLOWS these rules anyway? this site would lose SO MANY good authors if it actually strictly followed the rules, Coeur Al'Aran? BANNED he has short author notes in his chapters, makoto x chelia? (a Dxd writer who has several stories over 100k words) BANNED also uses Author notes and replies to reviews in said author notes.**

**you see my point here?**

**.**

**RubyXTeal:"Now take that D.O.F the chance of RubyxTeal pairing is 2/4 or 1/2 chances to your 1/4 chance of LilithxTeal"**

**.**

**i mean, both are sort of 2/4, so i mean... coolbeans.**

**.**

* * *

**See you all later~**


	11. Chapter 11: Beacon

**Don't Own Rwby, Only The Oc**

'thought'

"Speech"

**"Tvs, Radios, and Text via book or newspaper... when those are around..."**

_(Mid Chapter Authors Notes)_

* * *

***BOOOOM***

I blink several times as I casually sit on a bench, taking a LOOOONG sip of a soda. 'wh- oh... I guess Ruby found Weiss~'

I get up and stretch, walking in the general-ish direction of the explosion.

"Aren't you a little young to be attending beacon?!" Weiss asks.

"W-Well, I-I" Ruby stutters.

'I'm staying out of this...'

"This isn't your ordinary combat school, you know, it's not just sparring and practice, we're here to fight monsters, so watch where you are going!"

'I don't get how fighting monsters has anything to do with her bumping into you, but okay...'

"Hey, I said I was sorry _princess_." Ruby frowns.

'holy shit, a word with that much venom from RUBY?! she might as well be calling her a bitch... damn... I didn't expect Ruby to get this worked up.'

Somebody walks past me, causing me to do a double take and sidestep into a portal. "It's heiress, actually."

"Weiss Schnee, Heiress to the Schnee Dust Company, one of the largest producers of energy propellant in the world." The black haired girl continues.

"Finally, some recognition!" Weiss exclaims while looking pointedly towards Ruby.

I appear to the side, just out of their peripheral.

"The same company infamous for its controversial labor forces, and questionable business partners." Black haired girl continues.

"Wh- How dare- The nerv-"

Ruby quietly giggles off to the side.

"UGH." Weiss scoffs and walks away.

"I promise I will make this up to youuu!" Ruby calls after Weiss.

She sighs and looks at the ground. "I guess I am not the only one having a rough first day..."

"So, what's-" she turns towards Blake but she has already walked away.

"Darn Yang and Teal... Abandoning me..." She mutters as she falls onto her knees.

"Welcome to Beacon~" she humorlessly mumbles as she lays down, and looks upwards, only to see me and a random blond dude.

I tilt my head as I look down at her, causing her to flinch, then I look to my left to see a blond boy with a white chest plate standing beside me, then I look back down to Ruby.

I open a portal below her.

"AAA-"

She falls through several portals until she is re-arranged to a standing position, then I make her land on her feet with her arms crossed... now with the added bonus of a sombrero.

"YOU JERK!" She pouts as she swats off the hat at astounding speeds. "you know I don't like it when you send me through twelve dimensions, Teal."

'side note, I don't actually yeet her through dimensions... I just re-orientate her and put a hat on her head... a different one each time I have to do it! Last time was one of those large newsboy caps.'

"So, who are you, blond dude?" I ask as I turn back to my left.

"Aren't you the guy who threw up on the ship?" Ruby asks.

I let out a small snort and walk forwards with my arms behind my head in a relaxed manner, blond dude and Ruby following shortly after.

* * *

"All I am saying, is that motion sickness is a much more common problem than people let on." Jaune finishes a long rant about motion sickness while Ruby and I just quietly listen.

"Look, I'm sorry, but Vomit boy was the first thing that came to mind..." Ruby apologizes.

"Oh yeah? What if I called you crater face?" Jaune asks.

"Oi... the only one who is going to call the crater face, 'crater face' is me." I smirk.

"TEAAAL it was an accident." Ruby pouts.

"I mean, wasn't your fault, white haired girl was just shaking around a cracked dust bottle in your face, so I would place it seventy-five percent her fault, twenty five percent yours..." I yawn. "Also, blond dude we have been walking for about five minutes and you still haven't told us your name."

"Well, the name's Jaune Arc, short, sweet, rolls off the tongue, ladies love it!"

"No, they don't." I deadpan.

"T-They will!" He exclaims, "At least, I hope they will, I mean my mom always said- eh... nevermind..."

Ruby chuckles lightly.

"Soooo, I got this thing~" Ruby Segues into talking about weapons as she brings out Crescent Rose and stabs the tip of the scythe into the floor.

"W-WOAH!" Jaune leaps back, the blade of the scythe narrowly missing his foot.

"First things first, Rubes, tell him your damn name before you start talking about weapons and Two, please watch where you swing said death machine, I don't think Ozpin likes having holes punched in the sidewalks... or into applicant's feet..."

"S-Sorry." She rubs the back of her head. "My name is Ruby Rose, and this is my Bestie, Teal!"

She dramatically points to me. "He has the power to kill gods!"

"I mean, if you give me enough time and enough grimm." I shrug.

"Is that a S-Scythe?" Jaune asks as he re-focuses on the black and red- probably well over two hundred pounds- weapon, possibly not hearing the 'power to kill gods' statement after fearing for his toes.

"It's also a customizable, high impact, Sniper Rifle." Ruby smirks as she nonchalantly picks it up.

"A wha?" Jaune asks.

"It's also a gun." I add in as Ruby opens and closes the chamber, making a satisfying 'Clic-Click'

"Oh." Jaune blinks. "That's cool!"

"So, what do you got?" Ruby asks.

"uh- I got this sword." Jaune begins as he unsheathes his sword.

"Oooh." Ruby hums.

"Yeah, I got a shield, too." Jaune continues as his sheath expands out into a shield.

"So, what do they do?" Ruby asks as she taps the shield, causing Jaune to lose grip of it and quickly fumble around with it, only for it to hit the ground where he picks it up and quickly re-attaches it to his arm.

"T-The shield gets smaller... so, when I get tired of carrying it, I can just... put it away..." He clips the shield, now in sheath form back to his belt.

"But... wouldn't it weigh the same?" Ruby asks.

"It does..." Jaune sighs.

"it frees up his hand, Ruby... and you are one to talk miss 'my weapon is over seven hundred pounds yet I can swing it around like a stick', you could probably murder a man by just flinging the folded form of it at someone." I scoff.

"ooooh." Ruby slowly nods at my first point, then pouts at my second.

She looks back to Cresent Rose and giggles slightly. "Well, heheh, I am kind of a dork when it comes to weapons..."

"Just weapons?" I ask, only for her to ignore me and continue on with her earlier statement.

"Sooo, I might have gone a little overboard in designing it..."

"Whaaat?" I ask, totally not sarcastically. "Noooo, it should be able to transform into a sword and minigun, Ruby, you clearly forgot to carry the one when creating those blueprints."

"Nobody appreciates your sarcasm, Teal." Ruby pouts.

"I personally find it quite amusing." I shrug.

"Wait, you MADE that?" Jaune asks.

"Of course!" Ruby nods, "All students at signal make their own weapons... didn't you make yours?"

"it's a hand-me-down." Jaune frowns, "My great great grandfather used it to fight in the war..."

"Sounds more like a family heirloom to me~" Ruby hums trying to crack a joke. "Well, I like it! Not many people have an appreciation for the classics these days!"

"Yeah... the classics." Jaune nods.

"You mean rocks tied to spears?"

"Shush, Teal." Ruby sighs.

Jaune turns to me. "So, what is your weapon?"

I simply hold up a fist.

"…"

"You kill grimm... with your b-bare hands?!"

"Yep..." I nod.

"…"

Ruby turns back to Jaune. "So, I saw you were about to help me before Teal stepped in, why?"

"Eh, why not." Jaune shrugs. "My mom always said that strangers are just friends you haven't met yet..."

"Hm." Ruby hums. "Hey, where are we going?"

"I dunno." Jaune shrugs again. "I was following you two."

They both slowly turn towards me.

"…"

"…"

"What?" I ask.

"D-Do you think there might be a directory?" Jaune asks as he turns to look at Ruby. "… maybe a food court?"

Ruby Snorts.

"Maybe some sort of recognizable landmark?" Jaune continues.

"Pfft-"

"Is that a no?" Jaune asks.

"That's a no." Ruby nods.

"Crap." Jaune sighs.

"I know the way." I yawn. "Follow me, I know a shortcut."

I turn around and start walking the way we came.

"Wh-" Jaune begins. "Why are we walking the way we came?"

As we walk under an arch we are suddenly under another arch which leads up to a large outdoor... stadium? With walls, but a half-assed job at a ceiling and several chairs surrounding a stage in the center of the room... and by half assed, i mean it literally only has four arches going to a point... no other roof in sight... though i suppose it could just be a dust barrier or one of those outwards folding ones like on stadiums.

"Ruby, Teal! Over here! I saved you two a spot!" Yang calls out to us.

I nonchalantly pull my hood up.

"uh- hey, I gotta go," Ruby says to Jaune as I am already walking away. "See you after the ceremony!"

"Hey wait-" Jaune begins, but Ruby is already long gone. "Ugh, so now where am I going to find another nice quirky girl to talk to..."

"Look behind you dipshit." I call over my shoulder.

"SWEAR!"

Jaune looks behind him, somehow missing Pyrrha.

'oooof course he does...'

"How's your first day going little sister?" Yang asks.

"You mean since you ditched me and I EXPLODED?!" Ruby asks.

"Technically, this isn't the first day... we haven't passed initiation yet..." I add in.

"Yikes, Meltdown already?" Yang asks.

"No, I literally exploded a hole in front of the school, and there was some fire, and I think some ice..." Ruby frowns.

"Are you being sarcaaastic?" Yang asks with a grin.

"Ugh! I wish!" Ruby sighs "I tripped over some crabby girl's luggage, and then she yelled at me..."

I nonchalantly turn Ruby's head around without turning around.

"And then I sneezed and-" she finally realizes who she is now looking at.

"EEP-"

"YOU!"

She leaps up into Yang's arms "Oh god! It is happening again!"

"You're lucky we weren't blown off the side of the cliff!" Wiess snarls.

"Oh my god... you really exploded..." Yang blinks with wide eyes.

"It was an accident!" Ruby exclaims as she gets down from Yang's arms.

Weiss shoves a 'Dust for dummies' pamphlet into Ruby's face.

"What's this?-"

"The Schnee Dust Company is not responsible for any injuries or damages while operating a Schnee Dust Company product, although not mandatory, the Schnee family highly recommends to read and familiarize themselves with this easy to follow guide for dust application and practice in the field." Weiss monotones.

"Uhmmm." Ruby looks from the pamphlet to Weiss' face.

"You really want to start making things up to me?" Weiss asks.

"Absolutely?" Ruby states, faltering towards the end, making the statement seem more like a question than an actual answer.

Weiss shoves the pamphlet into Ruby's hands. "Then read this and don't ever speak to me again."

"Look, uh..." Yang begins. "It sounds like you two just got off on the wrong foot..."

I suddenly snatch the booklet out of Ruby's hands and open it and point to a certain section called the 'Safety tips' without even looking at them, then I slowly run my finger under the very first tip as I point the booklet towards Weiss.

"Please." Weiss scoffs. "I have remembered every single one of thos-"

I swat the booklet at Weiss and point at the first tip again.

"How dare-" she stops as she narrows her eyes and skims the sentence.

**"Do Not Shake The Products"**

She lets out an angry snort and walks away without another word.

Yang and Ruby slowly blink. "What did you do?"

I hold up the booklet to them and run my finger under the first tip again.

"Do not... shake the products..." Ruby reads aloud. "Oh..."

"What?" Yang asks.

"She was kind of... shaking powdered dust..." Ruby states while pressing her fingers together.

I look slightly below that

**"Do Not Sneeze On The Products."**

"Well ill be damned..." I grunt.

"Swear!"

I point to the line I just read, causing Ruby to flinch back as she reads it.

Ozpin taps the microphone.

"I'll...keep this brief. You have traveled here today in search of knowledge, to hone your craft and acquire new skills. And when you have finished, you plan to dedicate your life to the protection of the people. But I look amongst you, and all I see is wasted energy, in need of purpose – direction. You assume knowledge will free you of this, but your time at this school will prove that knowledge can only carry you so far. It is up to you to take the first step." Ozpin walks offstage and Glinda takes over.

"You will gather in the ballroom tonight, Tomorrow, your initiation begins." She states while slowly looking over the room. "Be. Ready."

"You are dismissed."

"He seemed kind of... off..." Yang comments.

"Like he wasn't even there..." Ruby adds.

"what's going on with you?" I mutter to myself as i stare at the side of the two girl's heads. "What are you talking about?"

"Did you say something?" Ruby asks as she turns to me.

"Nah."

"Welp, I'm off to go play some games in my magic pocket mansion~"

I fall into the upside down, leaving Ruby and Yang behind.

* * *

"Welcome home, master!" Lilith exclaims now wearing a French maid outfit, Don't ask me where she got it... because even I don't know...

"Wh-"

"These clothes I found inside the laundry room fit wonderfully!"

"oh... I didn't know this place came with spare clothes..." I mutter as I look up to the large brick building in front of me.

I walk through the door into a grand foyer with two staircases on either side of the room curving inwards, up to a second floor, then through the gap in the middle, it leads to a dining room that has a large table in the center with a couple rooms leading off to the sides for a kitchen, and a living room, a workshop/garage, and just some other junk like a bathroom, the second floor has about seven bedrooms, each with their own bathroom, so there really isn't much up there.

I walk through the dining room and into the living room where I faceplant on the couch and snap my fingers, causing the lights to flicker on and causing a large flat screen tv to appear from the wall as the front of the wall slides down.

Two large speaker slowly slide out of the wall, one on either side of the Tv.

Lilith stands at the side of the couch. "Would you like some dinner, a bath, or maybe... me?"

"I should have never let you watch anime..." I sigh into the couch cushions.

"Wake me up at five-thirty if my alarm clock doesn't work... or I end up smashing it in a tired haze..." I yawn as fall through the couch cushions and onto a bed.

"No dinner?" Lilith asks through the portal.

"Nah, I had a large lunch." I call back up to her.

"Okay then." She salutes and walks away.

I close the portal and crawl under the blankets.

* * *

**Here, have this, I have felt shitty all morning, so I might as well send this out so I can go back to sleep.**

**Guest Reviews:**

**claton fromMoga****: "****is iron maiden's act 3 killer queen or were the bomb knifes blade blacksmith"**

**.**

**Blade blacksmith.**

**.**

**GoTeam: "**** Thanks for the explanation and also i would of thought there will be more rule for the time portals.**  
**Like rule 1:dont meet you past self. Rule 2:dont change what already happen. Rules like that. Finally I'm guessing he won't go back all the way in time when the gods still existed to meet them,since he probably in coma for years"**

**.**

**No rule 1 is going to get fucking smited, how else would I do the 'Teal does a back flip and looks to the side to see several other versions of himself holding up numbers.' Joke.**

**And the thing with time travel, is that if Teal uses it, it has ALREADY happened, so lets say for instance that Teal in the FAR future decides to come back and save penny from death (Provided that this timeline's Teal doesn't save her) this timeline's Teal would see future Teal appear in the center of the battle field and save penny, now, that means present Teal (Going to start calling Present Teal 'Teal 1' and Future Teal 'Teal 2') is now obligated to go back in time at some point in the far future, making Teal 1 now Teal 2 for another separate Teal 1... and it might have already happened! You never know!**

**.**

**Cf96: "**** I never noticed there was a bird pun there lol good eye"**

**.**

**If Yang doesn't annoy the fuck out of Qrow with bird puns I stg.**

**.**

**D.O.F.: "**** hey RubyXTeal; flameclawsxx confirms both ships are equal in chance**  
**so come and fite me for ship dominance"**

**.**

**FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!**

* * *

**See you all in 3 weeks! Or in 1 if you are keeping up with 'Codex Of The Universe.'**


	12. Chapter 12: Initiation

**Don't Own Rwby, Only The Oc**

'thought'

"Speech"

**"Tvs, Radios, and Text via book or newspaper... when those are around..."**

_(Mid Chapter Authors Notes)_

* * *

I let out a long yawn as I sit up, rip off my sleeping mask and stretch... then I detonate the annoying alarm clock.

I brush my teeth, do a quick workout, take a quick shower, then grab a bite to eat.

Then I look at my watch. 'initiations about to start.'

"Well, Lilith, I'm off!" I call out into the mansion.

"Be safe!" She calls from... somewhere...

"Don't worry, if I get into any danger I could just open a portal in front of you and you could punch a hole through whatever is bothering me.

I land on a metal platform beside Ruby, my hood still up and my arms crossed, my sudden appearance going unnoticed by Weiss, and sort of just generally accepted by Yang and Ruby, who I had appeared in between, buuut my sudden appearance caused a Jaune to let out a brief squeak of fear before realizing it was me.

Weiss looks down the lane, shakes her head and frowns slightly.

"For years, you have trained to become warriors..." Ozpin begins. "And today, your abilities will be evaluated in the emerald forest."

"Now," Glinda continues. "I'm sure many of you have heard rumors about the assignment of teams..."

"Well, allow us to put an end to your confusion." She nods. "Each of you will be given teammates... today..."

"what?" Ruby whines.

"These teammates will be with you for the rest of your time here at beacon." Ozpin picks up. "So it is in your best interest to be paired with someone with whom you can work well."

Ruby makes a scared groan.

"That being said," Ozpin continues, fully intent on crushing any hope Ruby has. "The first person you make eye contact with after landing will be your partner for the next four years."

"WHAT?!"

'oh wow... I could actually hear Ruby's mental glass shattering...'

"See, I told you." Someone down the line says.

"After you have partnered up, make your way to the northern end of the forest." Ozpin nods. "You will meet opposition along the way... do not hesitate to destroy everything in your path, or you will die..."

Jaune nervously laughs and audibly gulps.

"You will be monitored and graded for the duration of your initiation," Ozpin continues. "But our instructors will not intervene."

"You will find an abandoned temple at the end of the path containing several 'relics', each pair must choose one and return to the top of the cliff."

"We will regard that item, as well as your standing, and grade you appropriately... Are there any questions?"

I raise my hand.

"Yes, Teal."

"Teal?!" I hear Weiss ask from down the lane.

"By 'Destroy everything in your path' do you mean-"

"No, you may not destroy the entire forest... only Grimm... whatever damage to the forest you deal while in pursuit of that goal, will not be held against you, but please, try to keep damages to a minimum."

I frown, then smile lightly.

"No heavy artillery."

"What?!" I ask. "Come on, that's my entire gimmick!"

"Now take your positions."

"Uh- Sir, I've got... um... a question." Jaune begins as people are launched off into the forest by the platforms we are standing on. "So, this landing strategy thing, uh, w-what is it?"

"You're, like, dropping us off or something?"

"No." Ozpin answers. "You will be falling..."

"Oh, I see..." Jaune blinks. "So, like, did you hand out parachutes for us?"

"No, you will be using your own landing strategy." Ozpin deadpans, probably enjoying Jaune's suffering.

"Uhhuh..." Jaune slowly nods. "Yeah..."

Yang looks over to Ruby and I, winks, then puts on some sunglasses. "WOOHOOO!"

I look over to Ruby and get launched as I wave.

I open a portal about 5 feet in front of the launch pad and fly through it, shutting it behind me.

With a load of quick maneuvering through portals, I lose my speed and land crouched on the Ruins we were supposed to go to.

I just take a seat and hang my legs off the edge of the pillar I am sitting on and let a couple of minutes pass as I shortcut some people around so they make the teams I want, primarily Team Rwby, Team Jnpr, and yes, even Team Crdl.

I stare at a small black speck far in the distance.

I lean forwards slightly and narrow my eyes. 'is that... getting closer?'

'…'

'holy fuck that is a Grimm...'

'HOLY FUCK THAT'S A GRIMM!'

I lean back suddenly, avoiding the large bone claws that swipe through the space my head was in seconds before. "KAIOKEN TIMES TWO!"

**"BOOST!"**

My foot hits the chest of this strange new grimm and launches it back up into the air where it extends its wings and stabilizes itself.

It is roughly six feet tall, really lanky, enough so that I can see its ribs protruding under its jet-black skin, it has two curved horns much like a nuckelavee, but it only has a single eye in the center of its face mask which leads up to its curved horns, it has arms that seem about two-thirds as long as its body, each double jointed and having five fingers that each have white bone claws protruding from the tip, each claw EASILY half a foot long, on its back are two large leathery bat wings that seem torn and slightly mangled, but still functional enough to allow it to fly.

"So, you must be my partner then, am I right?" I ask with a smirk.

I tap my scroll.

**Bgm: Doot - E1M1 [Knee-Deep in the Doot]**

"Come on then!" I motion for it to attack me as I slowly float up into the air with the assistance of my fairly new Ki powers, sadly, because I unlocked my Kaioken when only my aura active, it seems that it is permanently bound to that... so no cheese via using my ki to use Kaioken.

A single sword appears in my hand.

It tilts its head to an unnatural angle, creating a cringe-inducing cracking noise.

I shiver slightly, then it launches itself forwards with a flap of its wings.

***CLANG***

The claws of one of its hands clash with my new blade, but it's other hand swipes towards my head again, I tilt out of the way and parry its original attack upwards, then I attempt to slash it across the chest, but it suddenly flies backwards.

I smirk as the blade extends to its maximum length of twenty feet, but the grimm's armored placed along its chest are only scratched as it flaps its wings once more to gain more distance.

The grimm suddenly flies forwards once more, so I swing my blade horizontally, but it quickly flaps its wings and flies above the blade, flipping over my head where it tries to land a slash against my undefended back.

Its claws are stopped by an armored hand that grabs around its wrist and flings it downwards after scoring a blow to its cheek to launch it down even farther.

It crashes into the forest, expelling a large dust cloud.

I point my offhand to the general area it landed and let off ki blast after ki blast.

A tree is flung out of the dust cloud, only for it to be blasted in half by another ball of ki.

The grimm suddenly flies out of the dust and lunges for me once more.

* * *

Four pairs of eyes stare up at the sky as loud explosions and clangs echo around the forest.

"Uhh- Cardin?" The one with the green mohawk begins. "Should we... help him?"

***BWEEE***

A beam splits the sky carrying the grimm who had crossed its arms in front of its body about twenty feet before it leaps out the side of the beam and flies around it towards the red dot that fired it.

The brown haired soon-to-be-leader sloooowly looks over to the one with green hair... then he fuckin' BACKHANDS HIM.

"HOW WOULD WE EVEN GET UP THERE RUSSEL?! EVEN IF WE COULD _SOMEHOW_ GET UP THERE TO _HOW_ WOULD WE HELP HIM?!"

The blond squints up at the sky. "I think he has this covered..."

"Yeaaaah." The one with silvery-blue hair agrees. "I don't want to even get near that..."

"Wise decision, Sky, let's just grab the artifacts and leave... and forget about that 'shooting laserbeams n flying' bullshit." Cardin sighs.

Russel awkwardly sniffs. "do you guys ever feel like your entire purpose in life is to just be a two-bit secondary villain who's defining features are just racism and being a dick?"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"No." The other three chorus at the same time.

"Huh, me neither..." Russel hums.

* * *

"JUST FUCKING DIE ALREADY!" I shout as I fling ANOTHER barrage of explosive knives at the grimm.

***BOOM***

I quickly charge up a ki ball in my offhand.

***BWEEEE***

I shoot the blade of my sword towards the chest of the grimm, causing it to swing both of its arms to knock it to the side, the bladed edge skimming across its ribs as it shoots under its arm, the thin cut I managed to land slowly smoking and bubbling.

I slam the ki-sphere into its face as its arms are down, the explosion afterwards launching us apart once more.

'I have about ten seconds left... fuck it... time to cheese...'

I open a portal behind it and use up my boost to stab an explosive dagger in its spine, then I pull my hand back- without the dagger- and close the portal as it whirls around to slash at whatever hit it.

I summon another sword and quickly shoot the blade towards its now exposed back, it quickly whirls around to slap the blade out of the air-

***BOOM***

But the knife in its back explodes sending it forwards where it is skewered on my projectile.

The blade sinks DEEP into the grimm's chest and slightly pokes out the other side.

"Get fuckin' dunked on you bitch!"

Its chest starts to bubble and it just simply falls out of the sky and crumples to the floor where it slowly starts turning into smoke.

'oh my god I effin did it!'

I reach back and turn off the scroll, thus ending my 'fight'n music'.

**Bgm: End**

Kaioken suddenly shuts off and I plummet out of the sky.

I stop my momentum by falling into a portal that leads back up into the sky, then once I reached the height of my jump, I just create another portal below me and fall through it onto the ground.

"Owww..." I mutter as my aura-less body hits the ground fairly hard.

I squint my eyes at the sun- but it suddenly gets darker.

I open my eyes revealing an ACTUAL PERSON, she has heterochromatic eyes and two-toned hair- oh...

Oh...

'Oh...'

She tilts her head at me and slowly blinks. "You good?" She slowly asks.

'WHATTHEFUCK?!'

"No." I sigh, hiding my internal confusion. "I just had a mid-air fight with a humanoid grimm and it took literally everything I had to put it down..."

"Mnn." Comes her response.

'WHY IS SHE HERE?! WHY IS SHE TALKING?! WHAT IS GOING ON?!'

Not hiding it from you all of course~

"I guess we are partners now." She quietly announces. "I'm Neo, what is your name?"

"Teal."

She grabs my hand and pulls me up to a standing position.

"We should probably get going then, partner." She shrugs as she starts walking in the direction of the ruins.

I grant us a shortcut turning the minute walk into a five second walk.

She looks around after we leave the forest.

"wh-"

"…"

She turns to look at me.

I just shrug causing her to roll her eyes and turn forwards again and walk towards the relics.

She picks up a golden king piece that is just randomly placed in the center of all the relics, with no second pedestal in sight.

'…'

'were we seriously the only ones to grab that?'

She looks down at the king piece, looks back to me and shrugs.

"Expected more fanfare?" I ask.

She nods once.

"Ah..."

"Annnyway, since my aura is basically out, I am going to start charging an attack that will vaporize anything in our way as we walk back to the cliff, so don't mind me." I yawn.

She raises an eyebrow at me.

"You don't talk much... do you?"

She shakes her head.

"Any particular reason why? Like are you shy or something?"

She shakes her hand back and forth in an 'iffy' manner. "Semblance reasons as well..."

"…"

"…"

"Are you going to elaborate or like do I just have to assume it is some sort of semblance that kills people just by you talking?" I ask.

"I create hard light illusions, but they cant speak, so I don't speak, allowing me to hide amongst them... simple as that..." Comes her quiet answer.

"Ah... that's pretty neat..." I nod as we start walking towards the cliff again.

I suddenly close my hand, snuffing out the yellow orb that was steadily forming there. "You know what, instead of going through the forest full of grimm, let's take a shortcut."

I start walking parallel with the forest.

Neo tilts her head and slowly follows me.

"…"

We walk through some brush and walk out of a couple bushes on the cliff we were launched from.

Neo rapidly scans her surroundings and looks to me, a look of confusion plastered over her face.

"…"

I shrug and walk forwards as a giant nevermore caws in the distance.

Then a couple of trees are knocked over as a 'girl' shrieks out in the forest.

"…" my new partner and I just stare out into the forest below.

"…"

"I thought I killed those two grimm..."

Neo looks over at me with an eyebrow raised.

"meh." I shrug. "So, I am going to say my theory on how we are going to be grouped up, there were two of each chess piece except for the king, each group chose a chess piece, so I am guessing that two people are going to match up with the other two who picked the same 'Relic' that they did, but considering we got the only king piece, we might just be in a group of two... so, I am voting, we call out team 'the fucking midget group' considering out heights.

"…" Neo pouts and narrows her eyes.

"I mean, Really, we are both shorter than my fifteen-year-old friend and she is short by normal standards..."

She narrows her eyes more.

"Hey, you don't have to like it, but it is the truth~"

She just looks away and silently sighs.

* * *

"Russel Thrush, Cardin Winchester, Dove Bronzewing, and Sky Lark, the four of you retrieved the black bishop pieces, from this day forwards, you will work together as... Team Crdl (Cardinal), led by... Cardin Winchester..." Ozpin announces.

Applause echoes throughout the stadium.

The four boys turn around and walk off the stage as a new group walks up.

"Jaune Arc, Lie Ren, Pyrrha Nikos, and Nora Valkery, the four of you retrieved the white rook pieces, from this day forwards, you will work together as... Team Jnpr (Juniper)." Ozpin states as Nora hugs Ren. "Led by... Jaune Arc."

***Applause***

"Huh?" Said boy quietly asks. "L-Led by?!"

"Congratulations young man." Ozpin continues.

Pyrrha playfully punches Jaune's shoulder and he is knocked off his feet.

"Next, Blake Belladonna, Ruby Rose, Weiss Schnee, and Yang Xiaolong... the four of you retrieved the white knight pieces, from this day forwards, you will work together as... Team Rwby (Ruby), Led by, Ruby Rose."

***More applause* **

"I'm so proud of you!" Yang exclaims as she hugs Ruby.

They walk off the stage.

"And Finally, Teal Indie, and Neopolitan, you two are somewhat special, you are the only team in the history of Beacon to have only two members, but I feel like that will not hinder you either in the slightest, the two of you retrieved the gold king piece, from this day forwards, you will work together as Team Tn (Tan), Led by... Teal Indie." Ozpin announces.

The audience murmurs quietly as a few awkwardly clap, paving the way for even more to awkwardly clap.

"Will Team Rwby, and Team Tn please come with me, I have to discuss something important." Ozpin states as he walks off the stage.

Neo and I silently exchange glances but slowly follow.

* * *

I'm sitting down on my bed in the corner of the room as I awkwardly watch Weiss give me the cold shoulder.

"Ohmygosh! It is so cool that our teams get to share rooms!" Ruby exclaims as she hops excitedly nearby.

Yang and Neo are casually playing checkers and Blake is on the opposite side of the room reading a book.

"Kind of cool for old ozzypin to give us a bigger room." Yang states.

"Well, we are two teams..." Blake says as she looks around the room. "So, it would make since that if he didn't have any extra rooms, for a single team, we would be forced to share a large one."

'baaasically, Ozpin had team Rwby's room, and this one, but it would be inefficient to just give two people a single larger than normal room- technically one person considering I plan to just live in my pocket mansion- so he decided to smash our teams together and give us the big room.'

Neo adds her input on the conversation by nodding repeatedly as she proceeds to take three of Yang's checkers.

"Wha-" Yang blinks down at the board.

Neo smirks and taps her piece twice, as it is on Yang's side.

Yang exhales and places another checker on top of it. "You are kinged..."

"Welp... I'm going to bed... this has some sort of energy that I am not fully comfortable with."

I faceplant against the bed.

* * *

**Yeesh, I forgot what day it was~ here, have this, im not going to be updating The Remnant Gamer for a while, or at all anymore, so rip to that, Sean wont be dead though, I am planning on doing something else Rwby Related with him, so look out for that when it is eventually posted, on another note, I have no real clue where to go with Codex of the universe after the next chapter (will be uploaded next week) Like, I have half of chapter 6 done, but I have hit a bit of writer's block... sort of the same with this, as this is the last chapter, I have prepared of this, the next is about four-fifths done. **

**Tldr: Remnant Gamer is getting re-written again and I am in a bit of a pickle with Portals and Pizzazz, Codex of the Universe, and Bahamut is Unbreakable, though the latter and prior are probably the best off considering the low word count of the chapters.**

**Aaaaannyway, here, have some guest reviews!**

**Guest Reviews:**

**RubyxTeal:**

**D.O.F Equal change doesn't mean a win, just a prolonged build up of dramatic effect into the true pairing is revealed. However I'll fight to the bitter end if I have to. Let the SHIP WARS BEGIN! LOL**

**.**

**Things are heating up in the review section .3.**

**.**

**claton fromMoga: cool wounder what act 3 is how maney grim would he need to make the omnitrix or ultamatrix from ben 10 or the stone arrow from jojo or a monster hunter grim servents? or asta's antimagic swords "facepalms" never mind the swords **  
**could he blacksmith noble fantasims ? will we see an animantiam-vibrainum-mithrill-(every other supermetal) aully crassent rose? just how fucked is salem ? and when it V7 coming? and how dose atlias fly? sorry got overbord on the questions**

**.**

**Act 3 is going to be sick af**  
**Uh... yes?**  
**Stone Arrows are cool beans, probably a grimm dragon though.**  
**No?**  
**There is no magic in remnant... or at least, not enough to be really worth specking into anti-magic.**  
**Maybe?**  
**Very. She is just going to pull a Kars probably...**  
**Someday.**  
**Gravity dust probably.**

**.**

**See you all in the future~ maybe ill get my life together~ or I could die in my sleep!~ you never know!**


	13. Chapter 13: Minor Problems

**Don't Own Rwby, Only The Oc**

'thought'

"Speech"

**"Tvs, Radios, and Text via book or newspaper... when those are around..."**

_(Mid Chapter Authors Notes)_

* * *

It is a glorious morning, the birds are singing, the flowers are blooming, the spooky hoodie wearing skeleton is safely hidden in the closet, 'William Tell Overture: Call to the Cows' is peacefully playing in the background.

***BWEET***

Weiss falls out of bed and I abruptly sit up.

"GOOD MORNING TEAAAM RWBY!" Ruby exclaims as she hops off Weiss' bed. "And Team Tan..."

"What in the world is wrong with you?!" Weiss asks from the floor.

"Now that you are all awake, we can officially begin our first order of business!" Ruby exclaims.

"Excuse me?" Weiss asks.

"Decorating!" Yang exclaims.

"What?" Weiss asks.

"We still have to unpack." Blake adds in as her suitcase falls open. "And clean..."

Weiss glares at them all.

***BWEET***

Ruby blows on the whistle again causing Weiss to lose balance and fall on the floor.

I sharply inhale and smile brightly with my eyes closed. "Ruby."

"Yeeees co-leader Teal?" Ruby asks as she looks over to me.

"If you blow that whistle again... I am going to make you_ eat it_..." I growl, suddenly appearing beside her.

"EEP-" She hops away from me.

"uhhh- ALLL RIGHT!" She exclaims as she stops hiding behind Yang. "Weiss, Blake, Yang, and their fearless leader, Ruby, have begun their first mission!"

"BANZAI!" She exclaims.

"BANZAI!" Blake and Yang exclaim as they appear behind her.

Neo looks at them with half-lidded eyes and slowly wipes any remaining tiredness from her right eye. "…"

"You all have your montage in peace..." I deadpan. "I'm going to go get some breakfast, care to join me o partner of mine?"

Neo just nods once and yawns.

* * *

"Monsters, Deeemons, Prowlers of the night!" A mustached man at the front of the room exclaims, "Yes, the creatures of grimm have many names... but_ I_, merely refer to them as PREY! HUHHAAA!"

'to be honest, I am kind of surprised that Team Rwby and Juniper got here on time... beacon is freaking HUGE, like, small town sized...'

"And you shall too upon graduating from this prestigious academy!" Professor Port announces from his place at the bottom of this stadium-esque room. "Now, as I was saying, Vale, as well as the other three kingdoms, are safe havens in an otherwise treacherous world."

"Our planet is absolutely TEEMING with creatures that would love nothing more than to tear you to pieces... and that's where we come in." Port continues as he paces in front of the first row of students. "Huntsmen! Huntresses! Individuals who have sworn to protect those who cannot protect themselves!"

"From what you ask?" He asks. "Why, the very world!"

"Ayye YEAH!" Some dude in the back exclaims as he raises a hand.

"That is what you are training to become." Peter Port himself continues without missing a beat. "But first, a story... a tale of a young, handsome, man... ME!"

"When I was a boy-" his 'story' is reduced to mumbles as I tune him out and boreally play on my scroll under the table. "Despite smelling of cabbages, my grandfather was a wise man!"

"Peter, he told me-"

Ruby is quietly snickering beside me.

I look over to see her drawing on a sheet of paper.

**Ruby Rose**

**Professor Port's Grimm Studies: Day 1:**

**Notes:**

She just drew a fat professor Port with some stink lines.

"AHEM!" Port coughs silencing Ruby's giggles.

"In the end, the beowolf was no match for my sheet tenacity! And I returned to my village with the beast in captivity, and my head held high! Celebrated as a hero!" Port bows as he finishes his story.

"The moral of the story?" Professor Port asks "a true huntsmen must be honorable."

I flick Ruby on the back of her head, causing her to stop her tomfoolery of somehow balancing an apple on a book on a pencil on her finger.

She pouts slightly as Port continues. "A true huntsman must be dependable, a true huntsman must be Strategic, well educated, and wise!"

"So, who among you believe themselves to be the embodiment of these traits?" Port asks the class.

"I do."

"I do, Sir." Weiss repeats right after me.

We both glance at each other for a brief moment before looking forwards again.

"Well now, you with the blue hair, let's find out... Step forwards and face your opponent."

"Alright." I shrug as I get up and hop over the table. "I'll be right back; I'm going to go change into my combat apparel."

* * *

"Go Teal!" Yang exclaims.

"Fight well!" Blake adds in.

"Yeah! Kick its butt!" Ruby cheers.

"Ruby, he is trying to concentrate." Weiss chastises.

"Oh- sorry." She mutters.

"If it was something that forced me to concentrate... it would have broken out of that cage and killed all of us already." I yawn as I roll my shoulders.

"Alright." Port announces as he raises his axe. "Let the match... BEGIN!"

He smashes his axe on the lock holding the cage closed.

'you know, if they had a lever system, they could save a lot of money on locks...'

The door falls open revealing a boartusk.

I point a finger upwards and as it takes a step out of the cage, it is skewered by a sword that sprouts from the floor below, the abrupt melting of its skin after the fact making it squeal in pain.

I yawn and fling a dagger at its head, silencing the pig of darkness.

"Bravo... Bra-Vo!" Port exclaims. "It seems that we are indeed in the presence of a true huntsmen in training."

"I am afraid that is all the time we have for today, be sure to cover the assigned readings and, stay vigilant."

Weiss scoffs and abruptly stands, walking out of the room.

* * *

"Weiss!" Ruby cries as she runs around the corner.

"What?" She snarls.

"What's wrong with you?" Ruby asks. "Why are you being-"

"What's wrong with me?" Weiss asks. "What's wrong with YOU?!"

"You are supposed to be a leader and all you've been so far is a nescience!"

"What did I do?" Ruby asks.

"That's just it! You've done nothing to earn your position, back in the forest you acted like a child! And you have only continued to do so!" Weiss declares.

"W-where is this coming from?" Ruby mutters. "What happened to all the talk about working together, I though you believed in acting as a team..."

"Not a team, lead by you." Weiss scoffs. "I've trained, I've studied, and quite frankly, I deserve better... Ozpin made a mistake."

"Weiss stop being such a bitch." I grumble as I walk out of a portal beside the two ladies, now fully equipped back in my school uniform.

"I BEG YOUR PARDON?!" She asks

"Then beg." I answer.

"..."

"Now, allow me to dismantle every single one of your arguments in the most brutal fashion I can, because you dared to make the peppy child sad." I cut her off as she begins to speak once more. "One: she is a child, you are also a child, everyone here below eighteen is a child, Two: it is literally the first day, can you REALLY expect someone to be good at leading after only a SINGLE day? Three: If this entire thing is about YOU not being the team leader, I have another thing for you Weiss, you, would be a shit team leader because you focus on small things instead of the big picture, your personality is rubbish and you would expect too much of your team causing small fractures that would eventually form cracks, Ruby might have her childish nature, a cookie addiction, and frankly, has the attention span of a shoe, but you focus on those small details instead of the fact that she is an expert at weapons, a great shot, great at melee combat- when she isn't unarmed-, and has a fun personality-"

I take breath and continue.

"Yang has a horrible temper- and dear god the puns- but she has the capability to deal the most damage out of your entire team and has a fun-loving personality that just makes you want to go out and hit up some clubs with her, Blake might have a... questionable... backstory and likes reading smut, but she has a versatile semblance, is probably stealthier than most cats in existence, but she also seems to be the type to help you with your problems and is at least trying to be friends with two extroverts as an introvert, you on the other hand you just bring your combat expertise to the team... but you also bring five-hundred pounds of condensed bitch, snootiness, and daddy issues, so in general, not very fun to be around."

Weiss seems to be fuming. "Why you-"

"As Professor Port would say, 'your exceptional skill on the battlefield matched only by your poor attitude'." I state doing a mock impression of the professor.

I look to the left. "Is that accurate."

Professor Port who is walking past us just gives a single nod. "My boy, I would have added the-"

"The 'what I see in you' speech?"

He nods and continues on his way.

"What I see in you, is a girl who spent her entire life getting exactly what she wanted." I state in deep voice, once more imitating what port would have said.

Weiss begins to open her mouth but I cut her off again.

"Well, ill see you two in the next class~" I hum, looking between Ruby and Weiss, the prior looking utterly horrified at my two-paragraph-long roast session, probably because I did it on her account, while the latter looks ***PISSED***

Then I just walk through the wall as I make a portal appear.

* * *

The rest of the day was BOOORRRINNNG! We had Dust Studies with professor peach, but seeing how it is the first day, we just talked about lab safety, Combat Class... see previous statement, but replace the word 'lab' with 'ass-kicking'... then math was normal, same with history and language.

I boreally look around the room, lightly glowing under the power of kaioken 0.5 as I play on my scroll.

'hn...' I mentally sigh. "I'm boooored..."

"Read a book." Yang deadpans.

"The only books here are the ones to hide Blake's smut." I yawn, causing said bowed girl to slightly tweak out in the corner. "And bold of you to assume I can read."

"Bold of you to assume I can assume things." Yang responds, a cheeky grin on her face as she turns to Blake. "And smuuut?"

I snort as Blake hides her face behind a book.

"Guys stop!" Ruby frowns from atop her horridly made bunk bed. "I'm trying to study so Weiss won't be mad at me!"

"You know, when we got a larger room, I would have expected you NOT to do that..." I deadpan. "I get it, bunkbeds are cool, but you are going to literally kill Weiss with that one day."

The bunkbed sways ominously, a bit of plaster dust raining from the ceiling around the hole a giant corkscrew was inserted into the ceiling with, said corkscrew being attached to a rope that is holding up the corner of the bed.

"Hell, I fear for my own life, and I shoved my bed as far away from yours as I could." I continue, Neo nodding along from her bed which is on the same wall, but in the opposite corner.

"Shush." Ruby says. "It's Fiiiine."

***Creeeaaaak***

"Probably" she finishes.

"Sorry, Neo, but clearly as the only two sane ones, it falls to us to plan their funerals when their beds inevitably kill them all." I sigh

Said multicolored girl looks over to me and gives me a single nod.

"What can you do~" I shrug.

"Hey, Teal, I heard you went full on roast mode on Weiss earlier, what triggered you?" Yang asks.

"She insulted the innocent one so I called it like I see it." I shrug.

"She did what?!" Yang asks.

"Meh, it will probably work itself out."

* * *

I crack open my eyes as Weiss summons a gliph and stands on it so she can look at Ruby who is asleep in her bed, half way through her homework.

"Ahem." Weiss quietly tries to wake her up without waking anyone else up.

Ruby snorts in her sleep and slowly opens her eyes, only to tweak out slightly and send her pencil flying out of her hand and onto the floor. "W-Wiess?! I w-was studying and then I fell asleep, I-uh I'm sorry."

Weiss wordlessly covers her mouth. "How do you take your coffee?"

"I-I don't?" Ruby begins.

"Answer the question!" Weiss whisper-growls.

"U-uh, Cream and five sugars!"

Weiss sighs. "Don't move."

She comes back a few moments later holding a mug of coffee. "Here."

'WHERE THE FUCK DID SHE GET THAT- oh.'

I watch as she dispels a sword that is dripping some brown fluid.

'huh... I... didn't know that was possible... holy shit... is that like... Holy Coffee now?'

"Um- thanks... Weiss..." Ruby meekly smiles and scratches the back of her head.

"Ruby, I think you have what it takes to be a good leader." Weiss begins. "Just know, I am going to be the best teammate you are ever going to have."

"Good luck studying." She smiles, dispelling the glyph she was standing on and allows herself to fall back to the floor.

She pauses as she reaches for her bed sheets and quickly hops back up and points at some of Ruby's work. "That's wrong by the way~"

Weiss walks past me and to the bathroom. "Hey Ruby?"

"Y-yeah?" Said silver eyed protagonist asks.

"I always wanted bunkbeds as a kid." Weiss says, then she closes the door.

'aww... how sweet!'

"Give me my ten lien, Yang." I deadpan out into the dark room.

"Dangit!" Yang growls, fully awake as well.

Blake lets out a sigh of relief. "I am so glad I didn't bet."

"You guys are awake?!"

* * *

"Teal."

"Yeeees, Weiss?" I ask as I turn around to face the white haired girl.

"…"

"I wanted to say I was sorry... the way I have been acting is unacceptable and I hope you can forgive me." She says in a formal manner.

"It's fine, Weiss, I don't hold it against you at all, I frankly have been acting rather rude myself, I shouldn't have called you out like that." I yawn.

We turn back to see Cardin knee Jaune in the stomach and raise his mace above his head. ***Buzzzz***

"That is enough, Cardin." Glinda states as she slowly walks out in between the two boys. "As you can see, Mr. Arc's aura has been dropped into the red."

"In a tournament style duel, this would indicate that Jaune is no longer fit for battle, and that the official may call the match." She continues.

School has been an utter bore, it has been about four weeks since the minor bumps team Rwby had at the start of the year, surprisingly, I haven't actually been able to fight yet... I mean... I suppoooose that is kind of annoying, but meh, I was sort of planning on holding back till Mercury shows up and challenges Pyrrha...

"Mr. Arc, it has been weeks now, Please try to refer to your scroll during combat... Gauging your aura will help you decide when it is appropriate to attack, or when to move to a more... defensive... strategy." Glinda continues. "We wouldn't want you to be gobbled up by a Beowolf, now would we?"

"Speak for yourself." Cardin mumbles under his breath, or he would have if I hadn't used a bit of spacial fuckery to open a small portal in front of his mouth and to Glinda's ear.

"What was that, Mr. Winchester?" She asks in a threatening tone.

"Nothing." The boy shivers and slowly walks off the stage with his mace.

Our teacher watches him leave the stage and looks back to the class. "Remember everyone, the Vytal festival is only a few months away! It wont be long for students from other schools to arrive in Vale, so keep practicing."

"Those who choose to participate in the combat tournament will be representing all of Vale." She finishes just as the bell rings.

I let out a sigh and look to my left to see Pyrrha and my right to see Ruby.

I stand up. "hup."

"Come on Rubes, team of Rubes, Neo, let's go get some lunch." I yawn.

* * *

"So there we were... in the middle of the night-"

"It was day."

"we were surrounded by Ursai-"

"They were Beowolves"

"Dozens of them!" Nora exclaims.

"Two of them." Ren sighs.

I look over to my right to see Ruby sadly looking towards Jaune who is playing with his food, then to my right to see Weiss fixing her nails with a nail file, causing me to cringe and look towards my partner who is sitting across from me and seems to be poking at her food with her plastic fork with an expression of 'what the hell actually is this?!' plastered over her face.

"But they were no match! And in the end, Ren and I took them down and made a boatload of lien selling Ursa. Skin. Rugs."

Ren sighs once more. "She has been having this reoccurring dream for nearly a month now..."

"Also grimm disappear into smoke when they are killed..." I state.

"Jaune, are you okay?" Pyrrha asks.

"Huh?" Said blond asks as he looks back to us. "Oh- uh- yeah-"

"Why?" He asks.

"Its just that you seem a little..." Ruby begins. "Not okay."

"Guys, I'm fine!" Jaune says as he gives us a smile and a thumbs up. "Seriously, look."

"Eheheh." He gives us a shaky laugh as well.

I look over to see Cardin and his cronies making fun of the resident Bunn, Velvet.

"Jaune Cardin has been picking on you since the first wee-

I cut Pyrrha off with a bright smile. "I'll be right back."

"Break his legs!"

"I plan to~" I hum as I slowly approach the group of five.

"No-Wait! Teal! You cant-" Ruby calls after me.

"Pfft-" I scoff and slowly smile. "Oh yeah, like rules will stop me."

* * *

**Here, have this you filthy savages! I'm off my break btw~ and I have been really been working hard of Remnant Gamer 3 Tokyo drift (But without the gamer system so I had to rename it) and I have 2 chapters fully done and a third about 80% complete... let me know if you want to see some of that next week because I still need to find an appropriate image or make one.**

**Guest Reviews: **

**D.O.F. : "welp the tides have shifted RxT**  
**best girl has been played and i'll be damned if things don't get creamy soon**

**So I see you have assembled the Bird Boys, and I thank you for that. Now I patiently await for you to utterly and completely destroy them in a 30-second fight that you will probably place in-between the cafeteria bully scene. Don't spare any mercy for them. Hell, let Velvet join in the beating if you want. I expect you to throw them away from the plot like used tissues after that, but if you're willing, I'd like to see some semblance of character development for the boys if you have the time. Or not. Your call.**

**I won't even ask you to attempt to pair up the bunny and the bully because I know you'd probably have Teal as most of the girls' love interests. I mean, he already caught the eyes of... 4 girls now? At the rate he's going, he's gonna be the next Jaune when it comes to rwby harem fics.**

**Hope you consider my suggestion, and that you don't pair Teal with just Ruby, you portal-producing bastard."**

**.**

**You know, maybe some plot development for the 4 birdy bois, but yes, they are going to fucking die... horridly.**

**And to be fair... does lilith even count as a girl?... I mean... really?**

***I am going to fucking use that name now how dare***

**From this day forth, Teal's middle name is now 'Portal-Producing Bastard.'**

* * *

**Well, ill see you all next week in another story~**


	14. Chapter 14: Something Something Bully

**Don't Own Rwby, Only The Oc**

'thought'

"Speech"

**"Tvs, Radios, and Text via book or newspaper... when those are around..."**

_(Mid Chapter Authors Notes)_

* * *

My hand wraps around Cardin's gauntlet as he grab's one of Velvet's Ears.

"Heya, friend, it would be in your best interests let. Her. go." I state.

"Who the heck are you?" One of the cronies begin.

I smile and look across the table. "Mind your business mohawk guy."

I look back to Cardin. "So, are you going to release her ear, or am I going to have to break your arm?"

"I don't know who the heck you think you are, kid, but if you don't let go of my wrist right this second you are going to regret it." Cardin growls.

My hand takes on a blue tinge and his metal gauntlet starts to creak ominously. "I said, **Let. Her. Go.**"

The cafeteria is near silent at this point.

Sky quickly stands and throws a quick punch to the back of my head.

"Ow! Sky what the hell?!" Cardin shouts, the blue-grey haired teen's punch swerving abruptly and hitting Cardin in the back of the head without me even flinching, Sky did move a good ten inches to the side however.

The punch causes Cardin to release Velvet who quickly grabs her lunch and shuffles away as I release Cardin's forearm, then I boreally duck under a punch from Russel and walk my way back to the table with Team Rwby, Jnpr, and (T)n.

"I'm back~ and I didn't even throw a punch!" I grin.

Nora slowly blinks at me. "Holy shi-"

* * *

I watch as professor Oobleck dashes around the room, at this point, I am hardly even listening anymore, but the gauntleted hand exploding out of my torso is still steadily taking notes.

Cardin flicks a paper football down at the sleeping Jaune.

It simply bounces on the air and hits Cardin in the face, causing him to grunt.

"Mister Winchester!" The professor exclaims as he literally appears in front of the brown-haired bully. "I see you are finally contributing to class! This is excellent! EXCELLENT!"

"What is the answer?"

"I know it is a lot easier to train an animal than a soldier."

"And I know that you can cook a chicken in a single slap by hitting it at roughly five times the speed of sound, neither of these statements are really that important in Doctor Oobleck's lesson here, so kindly shut the fuck up, and stop being a racist pig, and I will stop revealing knowledge the world isn't prepared for." I deadpan from the back of the class. "Also, it was better vision, better hearing, and even a better sense of smell."

I hear Cardin scoff.

"That is correct, Teal, though it could have done without the vulgar prior statement." Oobleck nods "General Lagune made the mistake of trying to ambush the faunus while they slept, his army outmatched by the natural abilities of the faunus, and the general captured."

"Perhaps if he payed attention in class, he might have not been remembered as such a failure." I deadpan from the back with a shrug.

"ooooh"

Cardin growls and begins to turn around and stand up. "Mr. Winchester, please take your seat."

Oobleck zooms over to Jaune, flicking him on the head in order to wake him up. "You and Mr. Arc can see me after class for some additional reading."

"Now, moving on!" He continues as he blurs across the classroom.

* * *

I let out a near feral grin and raise my hand. "Miss Glinda, may I fight today? I've noticed that you seem to be avoiding me the entire semester and I haven't even been able to fight anything since day one with that boar tusk in professor port's class."

Team Rwby and Team Jnpr look over to me in confusion, while Neo, just taps her chin in thought, probably thinking something along the lines of 'oh yeah, you really don't fight often... or at all...'.

The professor freezes slightly, sighs and reaches a hand up to one of her temples, then looks down at her tablet. "Fine, Teal... who do you wish to fight?"

"Team CRDL!" I exclaim.

I hop to my feet and walk over to the stage.

Yang leans over to Pyrrha. "You guys have never seen him fight, right?"

"There was that time in Professor Port's class-" Nora says while leaning most of her body to the side with a finger pressed against her cheek.

"That wasn't him fighting, that was just him killing it in the most efficient was possible." Ruby pouts. "when he actually fights... it is sort of ridiculous..."

"He beat both my sister and I without breaking a sweat and without fully tapping into his power." Yang nods. "He could maybe even beat our teachers in a one-on-one if he went all out."

* * *

I slowly cast my gaze across the four teens in front of me.

"Begin!"

"Haaaa!" Cardin immediately rushes forwards and swings his mace downwards, making it collide with the floor and sending a wave of fire and explosive power towards me.

I swing the sword in my left hand downwards, creating a large blade of wind that cuts the wave in half slams into Cardin's chest, sending him skipping across the floor as he loses about twenty percent of his aura.

"Is that it?" I ask in a bored tone. "You guys are super disappointing."

His three allies rush forwards, Dove on the left, Sky through the center, and Russel from the right.

Sky's halberd skims off my sword as it barely deflect the stab to the side, then turning the sword ninety degrees, I stop dove's downwards chop with the side of my sword, Russel stabs one of his daggers towards my side, but I sidestep it, flicking dove's sword upwards as I turn my sword back to its original position, then I punch Russel in the face with my offhand and sweep one of his legs with the sword, forcing him to a kneeling position.

Sky slashes the bladed part of the halberd at me, but I lean back causing it to just go over my hoodie, then I just commit to the flip and do a single back hand spring.

A quick horazontal slash sends another blade of wind, this one larger than the one that hit Cardin, into the three boys, sending them each off the arena. "Mr. Thrush, Bronzewing, and Lark, are out of bounds."

I look over to my left to see a mace rocketing towards my face.

***Clang***

I parry the blow, but only just, the mace stopping about an inch from my face, being held back by my sword which doesn't actually seem to be touching the haft of Cardin's mace.

The air in between the blade and the mace seems to be twisting and shifting in turmoil, and it is actually a visible murky white color, then suddenly Cardin's mace is sent flying out of his hands and onto the floor behind him as the air explodes outwards.

The brown-haired bully is sent off balance by the blast and tries to steady himself, but I quickly kick him in the chest, knocking him onto his back.

I step on his chest and point the tip of the blade at his throat, casting a quick glance to the side to see he is still at about seventy percent aura... his friends also seem to be doing pretty well for themselves at about seventy-five, seventy, and sixty respectively, and I'm... at fucking ninety-eight...

"Surrender." I deadpan.

"Teal wins." Glinda sighs. "He has incapacitated all of his opponents or threw out of bounds."

I give a peace sign to the class and look back towards the four bullies. "Piece of advice from the team-fights I have seen you do... your teamwork sucks DICK, Cardin, you are a trashy leader and seem to hit your teammates more than your actual opponents."

"Bye~" I hum as I hop off the stage.

Glinda sighs once more. "Teal- while utterly vulgar- is correct... though in this match you were each overwhelmed to quickly to actually show your flaws... my only advice for this battle is to make sure you know when to group up and when to spread out."

I smirk as I sit down in my seat between Ruby and Jaune.

"those guys were too weak." I pout. "Why couldn't I have challenged your team, Ruby?"

"Because they made you mad?" She helpfully supplies. "And because I really don't want to get thrashed by you in a fight again?"

"Both are fair." I shrug. "but with two more teammates, you might be able to beat me, you never know."

"waitwaitwait- you are saying Teal went EASY on them?" Jaune asks.

"Mhm." Ruby nods.

"No real contest." Yang smiles.

"…" Jaune frowns. "I... couldn't even beat Cardin by himself."

"I mean, yeah, you are fucking Inept." I shrug. "Get some help from Pyrrha for fucks sake."

"Teal!" Ruby cries. "Stop being so mean to Jaune!"

I lean over to Ruby and hold up a hand to my mouth as I whisper. "I totally ship them."

"Wh-" Ruby suddenly stiffens and sits at her full height, a blush slowly passing over her face. "I- wh- n- okay yeah, I totally of see it now."

"I know right!" I grin for a few moments, but then turn to Jaune with a frown. "But I am serious about you getting help Jaune, it is what your teammates are for."

Jaune sighs "I don't need help."

"Ohoho! Yes you fucking do." I deadpan. "I get that you want to be a 'prideful hero' and not the 'damsel in distress', but what fucking happens if you get expelled for being too weak? What happens when your team is all slaughtered by grimm because you hold them back? What is that worthless pride good for when you are too weak to even kill a beowolf, Jaune?!"

"That's enough." Pyrrha growls.

"Teal!" Ruby exclaims. "That was uncalled for!"

"I am just telling it like it is, Jaune, you need to wake up. Stop being petty and get help from your friends." I continue.

* * *

After that day, we sort of stopped seeing Jaune for about a week, give or take a few days, he was always roped into Cardin's group, most likely doing their homework as well.

Ruby walks up to me in her pajamas. "Teal."

"Hm?" I ask looking at her from the corner of my eye as I lay on my bed.

"We are doing a stake out!" She grins while striking a dramatic pose. "The two team leaders must go assist their other team leader!"

"…"

"So, waiting for Jaune to come back to his room, or leave his room?" I ask.

"Pretty much!" She grins. "Come on! Let's go!"

I look at her with a half-lidded gaze, then simply pat my bed. "I am not getting up and waiting outside when I could easily just watch from here... sit down."

"What do you mea- oh... right... portals..." She sighs with a facepalm. "How could I forget?"

I scooch over slightly and she sits down beside me as I open a small portal in front of her.

"You watch, I'm going to continue playing... you tell me when you see him, then I will simply put you down there, alright?"

"Okay~"

***Crunch***

"mh- that's good."

Ruby blinks and looks over to me to see that I am holding a jar of pickles.

"…"

"Where did you get-" she begins.

"I wish a woman would love me as much as I love these pickles." I deadpan, cutting her off.

"W-What?" The red-haired girl blushes and quickly looks away. "Wh-what makes you say that."

"Hm?" I ask.

"d-do you want l-love or something." She whispers.

"No." I state in an emotionless tone. "I just needed something to say as a cry for help that could easily be laughed off as a joke if it went wrong."

"W-What?!"

"What?"

"What was that last thing you said?!" She asks.

"What?"

"No, before that!"

"'Hm'?"

"…"

"Is this a comedy skit or something?" Yang asks from her position on her bed, playing with her scroll.

"Yes." I deadpan as I drop the entire jar of pickles into a portal, ignoring the shattering sound that comes afterwards.

Neo walks out of the bathroom with her pajamas on and briefly scans the room, looks to Yang laying on her bed, Ruby and I sitting on my bed, the portal floating in front of Ruby, Blake who is reading in her bed, Weiss as she walks past her, shutting the door to the bathr- she snaps her head back over to Ruby looking through the portal and shatters like glass, reappearing beside us.

"Need something?" I ask, now pickle-less.

She wordlessly points to the portal and then me.

"Yes, that is my portal..." I state with questioning glance. "Why..."

She just simply blinks and disappears, reappearing at her bed where she crawls under the blankets.

* * *

'you know... forever fall is... red... really red...'

"Yes, students, the forests of Forever Fall are indeed beautiful, but we are not here to sight see." Our teacher, Glinda Goodwitch, states as she walks forwards. "Professor Peach has asked all of you to collect samples from the trees deep inside this forest... and I am here to make sure none of you die while doing so."

"Each one of you are to gather one jar worth of red sap." She hums. "However, this forest is full of the creatures of grimm, so be sure to stay by your teammates."

I glance over to Neo who is standing not even a foot away from my left. 'mn that won't much of a problem...'

"We will rendezvous back here at 4-oclock... have fun~" she states.

"So, Where will we go, co-leader Teal?!" Ruby asks me.

"Mn, I know a shortcut to a really nice spot in this forest, follow me~" I hum as I turn and walk to my left, Neo following shortly behind and team Rwby following after her.

"Annnnd here we are!"

We walk through a bush and on the other side... is a small clearing with a large pool of water in the center, a small babbling brook slowly draining out of the side and down a cliff.

"Weren't we... not by a cliff?" Blake slowly asks.

"Shortcut." I shrug. "Basically, I just fold reality like a piece of paper, where we are now is about ten miles away from our starting point."

I let out a content sigh as I sit down on a flat rock overlooking forever fall.

"Wow..." Ruby gasps.

"Yep!" I grin. "One day I am going to build a house up here and it is going to be nice."

I abruptly stand. "Let's finish up the sap really quickly so we can goof off for the rest of the time here."

"Right!" Ruby exclaims, followed by Neo and the rest of her team nodding.

* * *

**Hiya~ it has been a while! i just wanted to let you all know that i have a new story, Remnant, Life In The Shadows, or LITS if you prefer, and any of you who read the remnant gamer should check it out! because Sean is back! and i have put so much damned work into it, and all that jazz... annnyway, i'm off to go beat borderlands 3.**


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